Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Asswipes anyone ?

So What's Up My Little Snozzleberries ?

I am a little behind on reading your bloggies, so please forgive me if I've missed you. Been a little hectic around here.

I in a random mood, so I will  randomly talk about whatever I feel like talking about................

1.) A week or two I bought asswipes online. I don't think you could get more obvious because they are called (Tushwipes) You have no idea what a godsend these are. They are individually packaged, and they are perfect because these are big wipes, unlike the little squares that can buy get at Walmart. AND they are flushable and soothing. This will really help me keep my ass wiped overseas, especially since I HATE dry toilet paper, and the last time I was there the stuff I used felt like it was going to give me splinters.

Anyway, they finally came in the mail and I had to pick them up (I have a separate mailbox). I drove all the way on my lunch break to pick up my asswipes. That and the book on logic I also ordered. Oh, the irony. Would you like a dose of logic with those asswipes ?

I was chatting with the mailbox dude while holding my medium-large-sized box of asswipes ( I bought them in bulk so I could save on shipping). Luckily he didn't ask me about the contents of my box.

2.) I sometimes try to blowdry my hair or straighten it with a flatiron. Because if I don't my hair can get  wavy, frizzy and untamed. RAWR ! Anyway, my coworker came back from a 2 month trip from overseas and he asked me about my new "hairdo". I used to get up early and make sure my hair was tamed. Now, not so much, I have kind of let it go. So I smiled and told him I stopped blowdrying and straightening it. So yeah, I got asked about my messy hair.

3.) I was listening to the new Chris Brown song where he was singing about an ex, and it was directed at her. Basically said that he found something better, that she should get over it, and oh by the way, he wishes her well.

You know where else I heard something like that ? From Alanis Morrisette in her song "You oughta know" She started out by saying "I wish you well " and it went from that to "does she know you went down on me in a theater" and she's hoping that next time she's having sex with another guy and digs her nails down his back, she wants her ex to feel it. Nice, huh ?

I've also seen that on reality TV between feuding castmates like Jill Zarin or Bethenny.

You know where else I've heard such a line ? From someone in my immediate family that I've fought with off and on and off and on with and our quarrels have sometimes gotten nasty. ( Luckily this  is now past us for the most part) We have a long argument or something, but it usually  begins or ends with "I wish you well." Gee, thanks ! What else would you like to say to me ? Don't hold back now..............

Has anyone ever uttered such a line to you ? Please tell me I am not the only one.

Or better yet, are YOU the one that says such a thing like that ? I won't judge..............

Anywhore my loves, time to go and attempt exercise.

Abrazos y besitos !


Riot Kitty said...

There is toilet paper that isn't dry? Like what kind? Made of gummy bears?

Candice said...

You know charmin makes those "I just took a shit and it's stuck in the crack of my ass" wipes as well, right?

Not that I would know because I don't engage in such vile behavior...

Big Mark 243 said...

For some reason, your picture at the end of your blog strikes me as 'young'... I guess that means I am getting old!!

I couldn't get into Alanis and I don't like r&b to have heard Chris Brown's song... is he a douchebag? Only the next woman in his life will know for sure. I just don't care, especially since he is still going to act and sing. Impact his career? So instead of ALL the money in the world, he will make only MOST of the money in the world as an entertainer.

When he has trouble finding work and gets behind on his child support, then I will figure he really has 'suffered'. Until then, he can suck a pickle!!

mac said...

I love that Alanis Morisette song! She went down on him in the theatre, and I wanted to take all my dates to the theatre for years after that. And, it ROCKS !!

I just know you'll have a good time in Paris with your freshly scented ass ;-)
I know about that European toilet paper.
I call it chuck Norris paper, because.... it's rough, tough, and don't take no shit off anybody !

LL Cool Joe said...

I just hate Chris Brown. Just waiting to read the press when he beats up his new girlfriend. Once a woman beater, always a woman better. Rihanna, is far far too good for that little piece of shit. There's no ass wipe in the world big enough to clean him up.

I thank you, I feel better now.

Zsuzsi said...

Oh no, it's happening again. Please enlighten the confused European: is there really toilet paper that isn't dry? Well... I suppose you can get some sort of "hygienic" wipes over here too, but that's not really the same thing. Or is it?
Oh... and if you think West European toilet paper is horrible, you should try the one they have in the east. Or go to Russia. There they didn't have any paper whatsoever in the toilets, at least not at the fancy university that I attended with a bunch of "novyie russkie" (new Russians).
Anyhow, I think I should visit the States to try all these exciting things you have over there.

Loving Annie said...

I use non-scented huggies baby wipes and they are a godsend. I don't care if it is gross to admit it, but they definitely clean you up better than toilet paper!

Red Shoes said...

LMAO @ asswipes... that would be a great name for that product!!!

And after all, we DO want to be clean... no? ;o)


Choleesa said...

I often get the "I am sorry.....but if you wouldnt have.....then I wouldnt have......"

Chris Brown.....well, I think of him as the stuff you will be wiping away with your asswipes. nuff said.