Friday, February 19, 2010

Looking Through A Crystal Ball Ten Years Ago

Hello There My Little LOL Cats,

I don't usually ask questions on my blog, as that is usually left to Secretia. She's good at getting people to spill their guts.

But I've been thinking about the last ten years of my life. Ten years ago I just started college, and I was as innocent, naive and gullible as they came since I grew up in an extremely sheltered environment. I was living out on my own for the first time in the San Jose State dorms, still hadn't even kissed a boy and had all these hopes and dreams for my future. I couldn't even picture ten years ahead in 2009/2010.

I just assumed that I would be in a high paying job, happily married, and that things would just magically fall into place. After all I was going to college, I was always studying and I planned to apply for internships. Also, people always told me I would go far in life.

Anyway, not even close. None of that happened. Lady Universe looked down upon me and basically told me that I had many lessons to learn. The hard way.

Basically I look at what I had hoped for back then, and my life now, and it's so completely different. My dreams, desires and goals are completely different. During the past decade I had to decide what I was even passionate about and who I was as a person. Until I could even do that, things weren't progressing.

I don't think fortune tellers would make any money if they gave you a spot on predictions about the future. I would've told mine to take a hike, for sure had she predicted that ten years later I would still be working in a low level job, and that despite putting myself out there and volunteering for free for a couple of years I would still be facing rejection after rejection. Or great opportunites would be presented that would just disappear later or somehow not pan out.

I also don't know what I would've done to Ms. Fortune Teller had she told me that I would spend the next ten years in dating hell with nothing coming even close to working out. Other than having one boyfriend (we were great friends but not even close to right for eachother) everything else was a crash-and-burn deal. I didn't even have a chance to bond with them, because they would be in and out of my life so fast. The good thing about that, is there was never that "one that got away" nor do I wish I had done things differently. I really didn't have the opportunity to.

The two things most important to me in my life have been a constant struggle: Career and Love. I don't know how much more of these precious life lessons I am supposed to learn. It's really started to wear on me this year. If the past decade is any indication of what is to come, then I am very scared.

Don't get me wrong. I have had a lot of luck in other areas of my life. I finally found my passion in life, and I have definitely learned more about myself. I have also had a lot of wonderful times traveling and with my family. And for that I am greatful, as that keeps me going.

I want to ask you to think back to your life ten years ago. And then fast forward to now. Imagine a psychic told you then where you are now. Would you have been surprised ? Pissed Off ? Happy ?

Please go share..............


Anonymous said...

I would have been surprised to know that I would still be single and childless. But I am never going to a psychic, because know I don't wish to know the future or how long I will live. I prefer to think that things are OK and that the good times will last forever, I have chosen my outlook. When things change, I'll adjust.

Thanks for the mention of my blog.


The Pipster said...

Ten years ago I was married and if a psychic had told me I would be divorced at 37 I never would have believed it. Why? Because I thought I would never have the guts to leave my ex. Something in me changed though and gave me the strength to change my life and leave my marriage.

Red Shoes said...

I would have been surprised to know that 13 years after being divorced... that I would still be single... my romantic life has been a great deal like yours... women have come and gone... several of them have left scars on my heart... several of them boomerang back from time to time...

Career-wise, I stopped my PhD studies when my divorce came along... and I made the right decision... I waited too long to get started back on it... but I have no regrets about that...

When I tend to try to plan ahead... look ahead... I do hopefully so in terms of being in love again... loving someone unconditionally... and having her love me in the same way...

All in all, though... things are pretty ok... my advise to you would be to learn and try to better spot opportunities when they arise... and that requires a great deal of intuition...

You are going to be ok...


mac said...

Ten years ago, my life was so drastically different.

I had a wife, a child, three step-children in varying stages of maturity, and a staggering mortgage.

If the psychic had told me, ten years ago, my life would be like it was 20 years ago, I would have been truly surprised.

You see, I have started over. No wife, one child, and a nice old home that is PAID in full.

Would I rather have it differently? Nah, I takes 'em as I gets 'em.

Ily said...

Wow, what a question!

I would be shocked. I would not have believed her and I would've demanded my money back! lol

Btw, I think you haven't found love because you are not settling. You see through the bs and you are waiting to find the one who doesn't feed it to you (who is also hot and in love with you, too)!

You'll find it one day, love and everything else you want, and I think it will take less than five years...but I'm no psychic.

It's great that you know yourself and found something you're passionate about. That's huge!

Have a great weekend, Chica!

PS - The link to your blog wasn't working; I had to get here through Paul's place.

Candice said...

I would be surprised, shocked, and extremely thankful.

Darrin.. said...

I'd be disappointed.

Don't get me wrong.. I've got my health, wonderful family, and will finally get my finances totally under control soon. YAY!

However.. I'm almost 40, and am lacking in many of the great things you have experienced in life. College.. being alone and independent.. experiencing new and exciting things.. and having a real sense of who I am. I guess I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum of you.

Don't worry though girl, we have MANY years ahead of us to make all of our dreams come true, and to find what we're looking for!

Paul Nichols said...

A well thought-out, well written post.

If you told me 10 years ago, I wouldn't be surprised. I am determined to publish stuff. And I do, but it ain't easy.

Questioning our decisions (fate) is something we all do one way or another. Successful lawyers become organic farmers. Unpublished writers (sorta like me) keep on keeping on. Athletes better be open to change. Along about age 30 things are gonna change for them!

Some people plan their lives. Well, a 5-year/10-year plan is a good idea. Don't include marriage or children in that plan. Love and babies come unannounced. But the delightful things about them is that you can fit them into your plan real easy. Prayer is an amazingly helpful tool.

Many best wishes.

Pesto Sauce said...

Your life is so similar to mine...10 years back I too was in college when life was a dream deferred...success later was given.
Never imagined I would be stuck in life

Mike said...

Lets see 10 years. I would be surprised that I was living in Virginia Beach. Not too surprised that I was divorced. Probably a bit sad that my life is not totally where I want it.

Anonymous said...

honestly, looking back, the fact that i'm still alive now is a miracle


Tom Bailey said...

This is an excellent post I also like reading secretia as well I was just there in fact.

I have a hard time with this question because whatever someone tells me something is going to be and I do not like it I use it as fuel to shove it back in their face. It is not a completely mature way to look at it and not always the "nicest" but that is the way I view it. If the fortune teller had told me what it was going to be and at that moment in time I did not like what the person told me it would have created something new inside me. I am excited about where I am in life.... I have the hope for greater things and things have been going really well for me.

I am not much of a balance seeker so getting enjoyment and fun out of life is easier for me than people that are trying to balance out all the areas of their life. I pick an area to focus on and go for it and that is really fun for me. It probably stems from seeing so many people strive for balance and not only do not get to where they want to go but they only focus on the areas where there is not any good coming.

Struggling to get to where you want to be in your job is part of the fun... (only when looking back not in looking forward). I have not been struggling as much now as I used to so I have had to raise the stakes in my life games to make life more interesting.

The way that you shared here is great because it seems to give you clarity on what is next for you. Often it is what is next that really is the fun part of life.... being robbed of what is next would have taken away the excitement along the way.

Your entry reminds me of something one of my mentors told me "Set massive goals- be careful who you share them with and always remember--the time of sacrifice and pain you go through to hit a big goal is never as big as the elation you will feel when you hit it".... "set big goals and then kill yourself to hit them"...

I wish you the very best in what is next for you.

Kindest regards,
Tom Bailey

The Pipster said...

Thanks for commenting on my confession post. It took a lot for me to write it because it is so private. It helps for me to get it off my chest.

Deine Mutter said...

As always, I love reading your posts. You write so well, and it comes so natural.
Of course, I enjoy it immensely when you write about my parents, they were truly wonderful people. You have a lot of them in you - their values, their outlook on life....
Thanks for sharing your life.


FierySaggGirl said...

Embrace who you are Señorita and where you are. For goodness sakes you jumped out of a plane!!! Crazy Fire Girl!
The Sagittarius woman is a true romantic, trusting and hopeful. She sees the good in all. Her heart fragile. Bad boys will particularly be drawn to this sweet innocent prey. It will take the “heroic” sort of chap to wait gallantly in the shadows, and when the time is right, swoop in and rescue this beautiful maiden from yet another heartbreak. It will well be worth the save, her bright eyes and infectious laughter will reward you forever more.
Even in your darkest of moods, you believe there's a light shining around the corner. Your confidence in the future is genuine, but you hate anything interfering with your plans. You have a hunger to experience life to it fullest- to travel, meet interesting people, and see things you've never seen before. Anything new sparks your interest. In fact, you'll usually say yes to a suggestion without weighing its merits simply because it lifts your spirits. And while you're not exactly a moody person, you are high-strung and can become irritable when you start to get bored. You may think no one cares about you or understands you when you're feeling this way, but luckily your belief that you're someone special always sees you through.

VJ said...

Well 10 Ya it's been almost the same, but 20 YA? If someone had told me then what my life would be like? I'm afraid I would have shot them before they got to the good parts. 'Suddenly you'll be blown up, and they'll stitch you together and replace... [Bang!] {Gasp}, that.. but then after years of suffering [Bang!] and treatment you'll {cough} be a very rich & happy man of leisure! [Really? Well, Sorry about that!]

It's been a long & strange trip, but in the end, it's turned out alright. Love's the answer too, BTW. Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'