Hello There My Little Diamonds,
So when I logged into my AOL account, I saw this article...............
Basically, my little wedding veils, this article is about couples that have been married for over 50 years. Not only is the article about the couples heartwarming, but so are the comments left behind by the readers offering up their own stories.
I thought of my own grandparents. My Oma and Opa were the loves of eachothers lives. They would've definitely lasted if he hadn't passed away instantly from a heart attack. Oma lived for 21 more years and remained involved in our lives before she decided to join him. She did have a boyfriend, Tony, who she met long after Opa, but nothing like Opa, or so I am told. She loved Tony a lot, and they were like school children together, but she did tell me that she still loved Opa. I think Tony understood that. He lost his wife too.
Two weeks before she passed, she mentioned to my aunt that if she were to go, she would want to go like Opa did, and she got her wish. She died the same way, instantly, from a heart attack. I look back and I see that there was no way this could have been prevented. She seemed fine, she seemed healthy at her checkups, and when she passed, it was the one moment Tony was down in the basement getting food. By the time the ambulance arrived, she was gone. Now that is love. I was sad she left, but I am happy for her.
As I look back I realize how hard it must have been to live life without him, wishing to be with him for 21 years. But at the same time she had a relationship with us, her grandchildren. And she was optimistic. She had a great outlook on life and found love after.
My grandmother on my dad's side is equally amazing. She lost her first husband to cystic fibrosis. Her second husband, my grandfather did not work out. She is now happily married to my step-grandpa who I refer to as my grandpa. She and my grandpa are solid and they love each other very much. She always tells me how much she loves him and always are sure to hold hands and give thanks on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I know they have their differences once in a while, but one wouldn't know it.
They met in couples therapy when they were with their former spouses. Basically the things my grandpa found unattractive in my grandma, my step-grandpa thought were wonderful. My step-grandpa, aka grandpa is a wonderful man and they have become the model for my future relationships. My grandmother played the role of housewife and businesswoman in her marriages. She knew how to take care of herself financially and take care of her husband and children. One thing I've always admired about her was that she has always been aware of finances and got involved in investing stocks. I think it's really important that women get involved with finances in the marriage and see where the money goes. Open all the bills, write checks, stuff like that.
Anyway, I couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed by the article. When my Oma and Opa were together, he saved up and bought her a ring and necklace set made of smokey topaz. It was one of her prized jewelry pieces and it was passed down to me. So I wear a little piece of their love on my hand and close to my heart.
From watching my grandparents, if I had to give out marriage advice, here is what I would say..........
1.) Always let the other person know you love them. Don't assume they know. Ladies, if your men are providing for you, thank them. Men, if your women are raising your children show them how grateful you are.
2.) If you have a disagreement, don't shout it out in public. Don't call him/her out in front of everyone and embarass them. Discuss your disagreements in private so you can work it out together without others involved.
3.) You can't change the person you married, all you can do is love them for the person they are. If you don't love who they are, don't marry them. Marry the person you love, not the one you think you could love if only if...........
4.) You will never grow old if you do things you love. So get into a profession you love, or find hobbies you can share in together. My grandparents got involved in community service, mountain climbing, church, their businesses, the list could go on. And my living grandparents are still "working". I couldn't dream of asking grandma to take it easy.
5.) Compromise. You love the other person so much, that you just want to make the other person happy, and your partner wants to do the same in return. Their joy is your joy and vice versa. And it must go both ways.
6.) Let the other have separate interests. My Oma had her craft class she dragged me to where she stiched with other women. My grandpa liked to bring cakes to the little old ladies in the church. He is also a Chaplain at the local hospital. Have your own separate hobbies.
Anyway, that is all for now my little wedding bells. I am tired, but I have a dance performance to work on and an ass to deflate.
Love, hugs, kisses and chocolates !