Friday, July 2, 2010

Meme Answers

Good Morning My Little Dumplings !

So yesterday I pulled a little survey out of my ass and thanks to those of you for answering or commenting. My dad even filled it out and sent it back. Clearly the apple does not fall far from the tree.

Anyhoochie, my answers are below.

1.) WHAT ARE YOU WEARING ? Who cares ! Underneath my clothes, I am not wearing anything. And guess what ? I am naked underneath my clothes every single day.




2.) WHAT IS ONE THING THAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU THE MOST ? "You are a character" or "You have beautiful eyes"



3.) WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER HEAR SOMEONE SAY ABOUT YOU ?

"My, look how tall you are !"



4.) WHAT PERFUME OR COLOGNE DO YOU WEAR ? Parisienne by YSL



5.) VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE ? Vanilla AND chocolate



6.) PLAYBOY OR MAXIM ? I don't read either, but Maxim is more interesting.



7.) WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH ON THE PHONE ? Heidi



8.) WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR A RINGTONE ? A lebanese pop song



9.) WHAT COUNTRY DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TO MOST ? France, at least for now. I always change my mind.



10.) IF YOU ARE A MAN... ARE YOU A LEG MAN OR AN ASS MAN ? Not a man but I would probably be an ass man.



11.) IF YOU ARE A WOMAN, WHAT IS THAT ONE THING ABOUT A GUY'S APPEARANCE THAT IS A DEALBREAKER ?

If he is shorter than me. I am only 5 ft tall.



12.) DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOING DUTCH ON A FIRST DATE ? Hells to the fucking no ! If a man insisted going Dutch with me, yeah I would graciously pay my half, but I wouldn't return his calls anymore.



13.) WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR DATE FROM THE INTERNET SHOWED UP AND LOOKED 10 YEARS OLDER AND AT LEAST 30 LBS HEAVIER THAN IN THE PICTURE ?

A lie is a lie is a lie so there are no second chances for that. If he can blatanly lie about something so obvious such as looks, think about what he's not telling you. He could be married or have a gambling problem for all I know.

So I would sit and have lunch with him and pretend that I don't notice that he's built like a fucking mac truck. But I wouldn't return his calls after that, that's for sure. I may also offer to pay my half so he is clear that I don't want anything from him.


14.) MEN.... WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WOKE UP AND DISCOVERED YOU HAVE A WOMAN'S BODY ?

I have a woman's body. It's awesome !

15.) LADIES, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WORK UP AND DISCOVERED THAT YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A MAN'S BODY ?
 
Jump up and down in front of a mirror or pretend my penis is talking in funny voices.

23 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LL Cool Joe said...

Sorry I can't spell. I said I'm gonna have a go but I just haven't had time!

Ily said...

It's funny, I get similar things said to me...about the eyes and being a character. :)

On your #13, it's not about being shallow or hung up on looks it's the LIE that's the problem (also there may not be a physical attraction, but the lying is the worse part). I can't stand deceit.

Loved your #15! I wonder what it would say. ;)

Sir Thomas said...

I love short..

great answers....

Danielle said...

Good answers! Love it!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

LOL! Great answers.

MindyMom said...

Nice. And I so agree about the lying date. I've had it happen more than once too. Ugh.

KrippledWarrior said...

Jump up and down making funny penis voices is how I start my day! Don't all men?

Riot Kitty said...

Cool post! #1 cracked me up. It reminds me of the Muppet Show episode with Sam the Eagle, remember that?

Red Shoes said...

Err... hmmmm.... don't all penises have funny talking voices????

Hmmm...

~shoes~

dadshouse said...

You'd jump up and down to see your wanker wobble, or what?

Myne Whitman said...

These are great answers, some got me laughing.

Senorita said...

Illy, it would be friendly and say "hellooooo" in a high pitched voice. It would also be bilingual.

Dadshouse, don't act like you don't know. Something tells me you've bounced up and down many a time.

mac said...

Dang, you're short and naked under your clothes?

mmm, mmm, mmm !

You do have beautiful eyes. I can see why folks say that :-)


If you ever want to practice those voices, just in case, give me a holler. I'll loan you a penis for a few days, weeks... YEARS !

Don Juan Quixote said...

You are too funny, Senorita!

Yes, probably all of us have jumped up and down, but the voices....oh yeah...on occasion...we might sometimes do the ventriloquist thing with trusted lovers on crazy nights...;)

Spice should always be used when cooking...

Mike_D said...

You are awesome.

That's pretty much all I have to say about that.

I've never met you in person, but you are no doubt taller than you appear....

* Ashleigh * said...

That last answer was awesome!

Jimmy's Journal said...

Funny answers! My particular answer to "What would you do if you woke and discovered you have a woman's body" is two-fold.

1) I have woke up and discovered that I had a woman's body and after checking her pulse, I found that she was still sleeping it off from the previous night's activiities. So, I went back to sleep.

2) If I woke up in a woman's body....wait, that doesn't sound good.

3) If I woke up as a woman, the printable things that I would would be exploration and the horrible anxiety of knowing that I would have my first period in 14 days.

Years ago, my first period was algebra.

Jimmy

Paul Nichols said...

#13- There's nothing ugly about a Mac Truck. But I agree; if a man/lady has to lie about appearances, it's a direct offense to Mac Trucks everywhere. I'd hit the road, too, and never look back.

All good answers, by the way.

Candice said...

We've got the same deal breaker as far as men go.

However, you'd have to date a toddler to find one shorter than 5 ft tall. ;)

Ily said...

Ha! A bilingual penis?! ¡Imaginate eso! lol

PS - I just did your meme! It was fun! :)

Kerrie said...

If I ever pull a survey out of my asse I will let you know, but in the meantime I am loving yours.
I am going to Paris in two weeks, sorry to make you jealous.

Mama Zen said...

Love your answer to #12!