Thursday, April 22, 2010

Advice For a 29 Year Old ?

Hello My Little French Hens,

So I was watching a rerun of Celebrity Apprentice last night with Cyndi Lauper. Basically she was giving advice to an aspiring singer, who I thought was really talented. She took the young lady aside and basically told her that no matter what happens, to never give up on her dreams. She said that sometimes life doesn't begin until you are thirty and that her life didn't really start until she turned thirty.

What do you think ? Do you think that is true ?

I've done a lot of things in my life, but I still don't feel like I've really lived my life. I feel that there is still so much that I've never experienced. I've never been successful in my career (I've spent all my time in school and looking for a job), I've never been in love, and while I have friends, I don't have a group of friends with whom I can socialize with regularly, although I think that is slowly starting to change.

I just feel that I've been held back. I really hope I have better luck when I turn 30 at the end of this year. Gosh, I was so stupid in my earlier twenties. I am still in my twenties, but I think I've gotten better and I hope that it shows by the time I hit my thirties.

 If my life were over today I would feel disappointed. I couldn't say that I had a great run. I would think to myself that I didn't get a chance to really live life. I mean, I tried, but I haven't really done everything that I've wanted.

I don't know why I am even writing this now. I mean, in my last post I was joking about anuses and vaginas.

This year I have felt isolated and so alone I can't even describe it (and it has little to do with my single status, because I felt the same way in that relationship as well). I thought last year was that way, but this year it is magnified. I moved into a new place during the new year, and I remember sitting in the kitchen thinking how alone I've felt. I've never had that feeling before. It hit me that I could quite possibly end up spending the rest of my life like that. Moving place to place, all alone, with no idea of what could happen next.

Anyway, time to get some sleep, as being sleep deprived is probably part of why I feel this way.

19 comments:

Big Mark 243 said...

I will take a bite at the apple... but first, a comment on the new pic in your side bar. You are a wonderful looking girl and you are getting better looking by the day.

So, when does real life begin? You would think I would get all philosophical answering a question like that. I think that once you have stopped making excuses for your situation and take true ownership for your life and the (un)happiness that is in it, you are further along the road that takes you to 'real living'.

And that is the thing, it isn't a destination but a road. A lot of people go thru reflection and self realization at 30... I remember that was when I went thru my 'thing' @ 29 - 30 myself. It would be a little later before I started up the road I am on now. And do you know what? Time to change another road!!

That is why the idea that you haven't lived a 'real life' is a little laughable... life is about dealing with change and keeping our hopes admid crushing disappointments and always striving to fulfill ourselves in pursuit of our desires.

I don't compare myself to people I know... there are some who are 'successful' both in spirit and materially. What I do is observe them and try to learn.

They have few regrets. They definitely look at life as 'the challenge' that I allude to in my own story and they set about the work they need to do in order to get to where they hope to be.

I have read you for a bit... and I do think that you don't count the experience you have in your life as an 'overcoming'. There has been a lot of triumph in you life and you can use that to achieve more.

Finally, (long, I know!! it is about time I wrap this up!!) be willing to grow and move forward. You will see places and do many things. Set your heart on 'giving what you must to get what you want' and don't worry about if you real life has began or not.

The answer is, it already has.

mac said...

Sandra,
Life is a journey, not a destination.

I know that's a cliche. But being so makes it no less true. That doesn't mean you don't grab life by the horns and wrestle with it. I means we all have our ups and downs. We're all thrown through curves along the road. We come to forks, which way will we turn? Shall we drive the scenic route and enjoy ourselves? Or travell the express route, missing all those quaint places and things along the way?

You have to decide. But not tonight :-)

Kerrie said...

Well hun, I agree so much with the thirty something statement. For me my thirties have been the best time of my life. I am happy within myself in a way that I never could be in my twenties. I think you just become comfortable with who you are in your thirties and you are fabulous. The only thing I feel I must warn you about is it really is the age a girl gets really dirty. girls who think turning thirty is bad make me smile, for the best is yet to come1

Bossy Betty said...

Each phase of life is different and each should be enjoyed to its fullest. It all has to do with attitude!

Red Shoes said...

Damn, what a GREAT photo...

My answer to your question may be my next blog... you raise some great points...

:o)

~shoes~

Zsuzsi said...

This is a BIG quesion, and I doubt I have any wise answers for you. At least I won't be able to tell you what happens when you turn 30...
But I think that it's all about making your mind up, take the responsibility for your own life: if you already know what you want to do, then fight for it. Instead of wasting your time thinking about your past (what you could have done differently), focus on your future and the things you can do to live the kind of life that you want. Anyhow, all your experiences have made you the person you are today.
I understand the way you feel, as I'm going through the same thing. So remember, you are not alone and things always turn out for the best (I have no evidence to back this up, but I'm sure it's the truth :D)!
Oh, and I sure hope Kerrie is right!!

Mike said...

Life starts as soon as you are born and you make the best of it every second. If you don't participate you can miss out.

KrippledWarrior said...

One day it will all come together for you. Just live as though the best day of your life hasn't happened yet, even i it did. Find the potential for a great day everyday... forevermore.

natalie said...

Darling Senorita, is it your birthday soon?
Then Happy Happy Birthday sweet friend!:):)
Do not ever feel discouraged!
I think sometimes that you might fall in love with a cute, kind and gentle man and senorita he does not even have to be your own age!:)
But maybe it would help if he was your friend in some informal capacity!
Someone you talk to who does no dote on you! How would that be..totally different I think...
you are very lucky, talented and beautiful so do not ever get discouraged! Please drop my my blog and leave some comments along wit your link. I miss you! Happy Birthday again
Yours , natalie

Ily said...

Señorita, life started for me at 40...for what that's worth. I felt like you between the ages of 30-39. It gets better!! :)

PS - I thought of you today when I read about what happened to Bret Michaels. So sad, isn't it?

Sweet-Britches said...

Sounds like you're ready to start making things happen for yourself.

Most people never bother with the introspection you've just achieved. That's a HUGE first-step, and you've just taken it.

I know you feel alone right now, but use it as motivation to make things happen! You can do it all.

Good luck.

Danielle said...

1 piece of advise is enjoy it, 40 comes really fast after 30 and you will look back and thing,"gosh, I thought I was so old back then and now look". I am sure 50 will bring the same results, so I am going to enjoy the next decade, so that I have no regrets. Your 20's are meant for you to feel just like you do. It is a time of learning and experiencing. You are not supposed to do grown up stuff yet. The older you get, the more aware you become. You get better with age.

MsH said...

Hello Sandra,

I miss you! You have the starts of a posse that just grows and grows until you have more friends that you know how to juggle. You have positive energy and people are attracted to that!

I can share my 29 to 30 experience, i felt my 30s were going to be the best ever. Little did I know that a 'bomb' would be dropped when I was 36/37. Nevertheless I grew in way that strength myself that I did not and frankly with all my health issues could not in my 20s.

Point is that the 30s rock!

I think you are having a 'moment' - we all have them. heh you know I do.

You know I was talking to Joe the massage man, 29, and thinking about having another dinner party.

Anyways, I need to email you details to dance and social stuffy so I can play a game with Haley and get her in bed. She is patiently waiting.

Oh BTW birdie still well, only beak kinda seen better days...

Fireblossom said...

Psssssst, everyone is stupid in their twenties. Someone said that living is like trying to learn to play the violin in public. Those early notes can be screechers but without them, the concert never gets played.

I can look back on my life, at 54, and see that everything laid groundwork for the next thing. In my 20s I was the drunk bohemian poet. I never worked full time and instead read like a fiend because I wanted to be a writer. When I hit 30, I got sober, got a the job I still have, got married and started raising a child. I went from being really free-form to being this super dependable person and sometimes thought, wow, how did I get HERE?

After 45, on my own again, I reinvented myself again. Instead of being all about family, it's all about me again. I have done more things for the first time in the last decade than at any point in my life except perhaps my 20s.

All that to say, anyone who sells you that stuff about life being over at 30, is peddling bullshit. The only thing I would say (and it seems as if you've asked, or I'd hush) is to follow what you love best. If you don't know what that is, look for it. If you find it, follow it. It will lead you to your joy.

Ms. Jenni [xo] said...

I don't think it's a matter of when life starts.. but rather when it's going to get better. And thats when you get through all your struggles, head up, and ready to take on the rest of the world.

UBERMOUTH said...

Oh Senorita your best days are coming. Life does get better as we age. In our thirties a film, we never even noticed we had, that blinkered us, falls from our eyes and suddenly we 'get it'.

Your 20's IS for unfulfillment, angst and learning by our mistakes and then aftr 30 we start reaping the benefits of our experience.
Enjoy your singledom, in a few yrs when your house is a noisy hub of babies and a hubby -you will look back on these days so nostalgically, that suddenly what is 'lonely' now will be 'freedom' in hindsight. :) Freedom that you did not enjoy enough-unTil it was gone. :)

Jessica said...

No pearls of wisdom from me; we're the same age. I followed the link from Red Shoes and am so glad that I did.

The nitty-gritty tales of a housewife said...

I CAN ONLY ANSWER WITH THIS SAYING;
The time you wake up, IS YOUR TIME & the time another person wakes up, IS NOT YOUR TIME. u get?

O said...

Bring on the thirties! I am psyching myself up to embracing it too as there have been so many 30th birthdays this year. I think everyone has their reflective moments but if you were to look back on your twenties I bet there are some wild times that bring a smile to your face too! Treasure those and focus on getting what you want going forwards. I'm a firm believer in making things happen (without sounding too oprah-y.. haha)