Hello My Little French Hens,
So I was watching a rerun of Celebrity Apprentice last night with Cyndi Lauper. Basically she was giving advice to an aspiring singer, who I thought was really talented. She took the young lady aside and basically told her that no matter what happens, to never give up on her dreams. She said that sometimes life doesn't begin until you are thirty and that her life didn't really start until she turned thirty.
What do you think ? Do you think that is true ?
I've done a lot of things in my life, but I still don't feel like I've really lived my life. I feel that there is still so much that I've never experienced. I've never been successful in my career (I've spent all my time in school and looking for a job), I've never been in love, and while I have friends, I don't have a group of friends with whom I can socialize with regularly, although I think that is slowly starting to change.
I just feel that I've been held back. I really hope I have better luck when I turn 30 at the end of this year. Gosh, I was so stupid in my earlier twenties. I am still in my twenties, but I think I've gotten better and I hope that it shows by the time I hit my thirties.
If my life were over today I would feel disappointed. I couldn't say that I had a great run. I would think to myself that I didn't get a chance to really live life. I mean, I tried, but I haven't really done everything that I've wanted.
I don't know why I am even writing this now. I mean, in my last post I was joking about anuses and vaginas.
This year I have felt isolated and so alone I can't even describe it (and it has little to do with my single status, because I felt the same way in that relationship as well). I thought last year was that way, but this year it is magnified. I moved into a new place during the new year, and I remember sitting in the kitchen thinking how alone I've felt. I've never had that feeling before. It hit me that I could quite possibly end up spending the rest of my life like that. Moving place to place, all alone, with no idea of what could happen next.
Anyway, time to get some sleep, as being sleep deprived is probably part of why I feel this way.