Sunday, April 11, 2010

Something I never forgot.

Hello My Little Sunflowers,

So this weekend has been busy. I've managed to occupy my time by going to dance class and going for a run. I ran about 5-6 miles and for most of it we ran real fast. I could tell that I was burning some serious calories because when I ran my ass got warm and I could feel it jiggle up and down while I ran. With that much movement and heat I better see some sort of results.

The weekends always go by so fast.


I remember when I was in Munich with my Austrian aunt for the weekend for a festival back in 2002. I think it was the 744th or 844th anniversary of Munich being a town or something like that. Whatever it was, it was definitely an excuse to drink beer and have people gather around.

That day we were tourists. Just wandering around the town and looking through department stores as well as the street fair. While we were walking around and old German woman bumped into us. Her hair was gray and braided around her head and she had cataracts. She definitely looked like a traditional German. Somehow she ended up talking to us while we were looking at carved wooden art or something like that. My aunt could barely understand what she was saying because her German dialect was very different from the Austrian dialect we are used to. But she talked to my aunt while I was trying to listen. She noticed that it was a beautiful day out, and I guess asked my aunt if we were having fun or something like that. Then she looked at both of us and told us to enjoy the good times while they last because you never know when it could get taken away from you.

Basically this woman had lived through the war and witnessed/experienced a lot in her life. It was like by looking at us she felt we were so naive, and wanted to share her wisdom with us. We probably looked so carefree. What would that be like for you if you witnessed catastrophe in your town, only for years later see people wandering around aimlessly and naively like nothing happened ? Like everything you've experienced is long forgotten, like it never happened but you're left with the scars ? I wonder what she did go through ? I don't know why she decided we were the people to tell that to. But her words were not lost on us. My aunt listened with respect and I was touched.

I guess I am naive. I was 22 at the time. I am now 29 but really ? What life experience do I really have ? I am really sad that people from her generation are dying off. It's like we are losing a link to history. I cringe at the thought of the generations to come and how they are being raised.

I am sure that woman is dust in the wind by now, but those words always stuck with me. When I was a child I thought I would never get older. I was a child just waiting until I turned 21 so I could move on and be a free adult. But now since that happened my life is passing me by so fast, and my Oma is gone, and my brother and cousins are no longer kids. My other grandma here in CA is still alive, but I no longer felt like I used to where I thought she would be around for a while.

Childhood events seem soooooo far away. Thinking about life when my parents were married almost feels like it never really happened. Things we used to do as children feel so far away that I almost forgot it happened. I guess that is good because it means I have more room for events in the future to come.

I don't know why I feel so sentimental this weekend. I guess it's because one of my friends is going through a difficult time in her life and I wish I could be there for her. I've invested a lot of time into the friendship and she may or may not even be around for much longer and may have to move. And it's only recently that I've really put myself out there to reach out to someone else and take a risk. I want nothing more than to have good frienships with people.

I've had friendships that have blown up in my face before where I've been backstabbed or we've simply lost contact and it hurt, but I wasn't as emotionally affected as I am now. I guess I am learning to put myself out there more and take risks.

Anyway, that is all for now my little yellow flowers.


mac said...

Sie sind hübsch UND klug, Madchen :-)

When I was in there, the country was still seperated into East and West. That always seemed surreal to me, a country divided in two. I bet it's very different now that they're reunified.

I met a lot of folks who had actually fought in the war. Even then, they were getting pretty long in the tooth. I imagine most have passed by now.
You're right. It is like a loss of history. People, not events, are what make history appealing to me. I am fascinated by how people are affected by the world of their time...quirky, I know :-)

Another quirk I have is I find German pleasing to my ears( though I dare not speak it, well can't). I would have liked to have met your Oma.

I hope things work out for your friend :-)

Shelly Rayedeane said...

What I have found is putting myself out there with people has more to do with trusting myself to attract the right types of people.

This was beautifully written. I'm sorry I didn't comment on your last picture post. Wow. I wonder if the pictures do justice at showing how skilled you are. I wish you could post some videos of you dancing.

Anyway, that is all for now.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Red Shoes said...

Damn, Senorita... I do NOT need to be reading about your jiggling ass.. LOL...

Your comments about the older woman were so touching... My former mother-in-law, as well as my ex wife, were both born in Germany...

The former m-i-l told me about living in Germany during the rise of Hitler... and how as a young girl, she came home for lunch one day and her Mom accosted her about a lapel pin she was wearing (obviously a swastika)... Her Mom told her that she could NOT go back to work there... as time went on and the U.S. was pulled into the war, her city (Frankfurt) was bombed by the British at night, and by the Americans during the day... her Mother and some siblings were killed in the bomb raids... You are right... there are so many stories we NEED to hear... and pass on to others...

Thank you for your writings... I do enjoy them...


Jon said...

So wonderful post... Yea we take life for granted.. I wish i got my childhood days back...sigh..

wishing you a happy,healthy,long life..

Clyde said...

We are all here making history everyday of our lives.
Some of us will be remembered for something but most for just occupying a space for a period of time.
You remember that lovely old lady

Hey, you sound like you are living life just fine

Secretia said...

What wise words you have today, Senorita "More room for events in the future" Very good!


Danielle said...

I think about this kind of stuff all of the time. How so many generations are just forgotten.
Great post

dadshouse said...

They need an excuse to drink beer in Germany?

I agree, enjoy the life that is before you. I think some people take that to mean they need to party and play 24/7. Quiet contemplation is valuable, too. Just be, and be aware and in tune with who you are.

KrippledWarrior said...

Live as though the best day in your life hasn't happened yet.

Ily said...

Putting yourself out there and taking risks in relationships is worth any pain it may cause you in the end. Love and friendship is everything.

I know what you mean about looking back to simpler times and realizing they won't be back. I like that quote: "These are the good 'ol days you're going to miss in 10 years." That's why I try to live the NOW to the fullest!

Enjoy every moment and I hope your new friendship lasts a lifetime!

Loving Annie said...

I hope this friendship you have opened yourself up for lasts, no matter where/if she moves, Senorita.

I attract the right kind of people when I treat myself like I treat someone I love. It's difficult to do, and those healthy boundaries bring in good people, slowly but consistently.


Loving Annie said...

p.s.s. I watched Matchmaker Millionaire eipsode 10, season 3 with Kevin Strom, and he was SUCH an incredible asswipe.
Money and looks don't make someone a worthy long-term mate. In fact, there isn't a woman alive he'd ever be happy with - he needs a inflatable doll with tits who can cook.

Deine Mutter said...

I always enjoy your posts when you write about "the old country" and Oma...I do miss her so much. I can't claim that I am completely over her passing away so suddenly, almost 4 years ago. I am so glad you had an opportunity to spend time with her, and time with Ulli as well. Perhaps it's time for a visit.
Miss you a lot!
Deine Mutter