Something I never forgot.

Hello My Little Sunflowers,

So this weekend has been busy. I've managed to occupy my time by going to dance class and going for a run. I ran about 5-6 miles and for most of it we ran real fast. I could tell that I was burning some serious calories because when I ran my ass got warm and I could feel it jiggle up and down while I ran. With that much movement and heat I better see some sort of results.

The weekends always go by so fast.

Anyway...........

I remember when I was in Munich with my Austrian aunt for the weekend for a festival back in 2002. I think it was the 744th or 844th anniversary of Munich being a town or something like that. Whatever it was, it was definitely an excuse to drink beer and have people gather around.

That day we were tourists. Just wandering around the town and looking through department stores as well as the street fair. While we were walking around and old German woman bumped into us. Her hair was gray and braided around her head and she had cataracts. She definitely looked like a traditional German. Somehow she ended up talking to us while we were looking at carved wooden art or something like that. My aunt could barely understand what she was saying because her German dialect was very different from the Austrian dialect we are used to. But she talked to my aunt while I was trying to listen. She noticed that it was a beautiful day out, and I guess asked my aunt if we were having fun or something like that. Then she looked at both of us and told us to enjoy the good times while they last because you never know when it could get taken away from you.

Basically this woman had lived through the war and witnessed/experienced a lot in her life. It was like by looking at us she felt we were so naive, and wanted to share her wisdom with us. We probably looked so carefree. What would that be like for you if you witnessed catastrophe in your town, only for years later see people wandering around aimlessly and naively like nothing happened ? Like everything you've experienced is long forgotten, like it never happened but you're left with the scars ? I wonder what she did go through ? I don't know why she decided we were the people to tell that to. But her words were not lost on us. My aunt listened with respect and I was touched.

I guess I am naive. I was 22 at the time. I am now 29 but really ? What life experience do I really have ? I am really sad that people from her generation are dying off. It's like we are losing a link to history. I cringe at the thought of the generations to come and how they are being raised.

I am sure that woman is dust in the wind by now, but those words always stuck with me. When I was a child I thought I would never get older. I was a child just waiting until I turned 21 so I could move on and be a free adult. But now since that happened my life is passing me by so fast, and my Oma is gone, and my brother and cousins are no longer kids. My other grandma here in CA is still alive, but I no longer felt like I used to where I thought she would be around for a while.

Childhood events seem soooooo far away. Thinking about life when my parents were married almost feels like it never really happened. Things we used to do as children feel so far away that I almost forgot it happened. I guess that is good because it means I have more room for events in the future to come.

I don't know why I feel so sentimental this weekend. I guess it's because one of my friends is going through a difficult time in her life and I wish I could be there for her. I've invested a lot of time into the friendship and she may or may not even be around for much longer and may have to move. And it's only recently that I've really put myself out there to reach out to someone else and take a risk. I want nothing more than to have good frienships with people.

I've had friendships that have blown up in my face before where I've been backstabbed or we've simply lost contact and it hurt, but I wasn't as emotionally affected as I am now. I guess I am learning to put myself out there more and take risks.

Anyway, that is all for now my little yellow flowers.