Friday, January 8, 2010

Embarrasing !

Hello There My Little Frosted Flakes,

I don't know what it is, but I keep ending up in embarrassing situations. Like yesterday and today for example.

Last night I was doing patrols, and I thought the building was empty. And I had to pass gas. I felt the pressure build up, and I had to let it out. So I found an isolated corner to let the honk loose. And not a second more after I farted someone walks by me. What does a girl gotta do around here to fart in peace ????

Of course that wasn't the first time I've done something like that at work. I remember last year while I was sitting at the reception desk a lady came up to me to report some damage to her car or something like that. I was busy trying to reassure her and while I was doing that and making eye contact with her, I accidentally let out a loud fart that vibrated against my office chair. I giggled and appologized profusely, and luckily she said it was fine and that it happens.

Let me say that when it comes to passing gas, I am a lady. I do everything in my power not to fart in front of another person. And if I absolutely have to, I try and make sure it's silent. You know what I mean, right ? Shifting around to find the perfect position so that you toot with no noise.

And don't you be judging me. I know you all pass gas too ! Especially you ladies !

I mean, I was proud of my work, but c'mon ! It was supposed to be a private moment. The guy who walked by me didn't react, thank God, but wow was that awkward !

And today I bought a bookshelf at Target. It was a large box, large enough for me to struggle carrying it. I forgot that I parked far away from the store. I didn't park in front of Target because I started out in front of another store and didn't anticipate buying furniture. It was a last minute purchase.

So after I put it in the cart and hauled it outside, the cart jammed. It looked like a hairball got caught in one of the wheels and jammed it up. So I was in the middle of the parking lot with a cart full of stuff and the large box of furniture and  it would not budge. I looked like an idiot just pulling on that cart to my car.

Anywho my loves, that is all for now.

Un beso !


Big Mark 243 said...

It isn't often that I have heard a woman cop to something like that...

Watch out, there is a weird 'fart fetish'... the wrong cat might smell you 'air freshener' and get ideas..!

Ily said...

Ha! This post was a gas, Chica!

LOL at Big Mark's fart fetish remark. :D

Paul Nichols said...

Been there, done that. At both the gas station and with a funky shopping cart.

Liam said...

Ahhh yes the little fartino problem.

All you need is some mug like me around to blame it on.

Bev said...

Ha! Happens to the best of us, lady-friend. Just yesterday I let one go on the way into the daycare to drop off my son, and when I came back outside I SWEAR I still smelled it. Outside, in January, for pete's sake! WTH? That's some pungeunt stuff.

Oh, and where are all the gentlemen coming to a pretty lady's aid in the Target parking lot? Hmmm?

mac said...

Everybody knows the silent ones are the worst!

It's Ok, though. You can always blame them on someone else. The trick is, pretend you notice it first, then go on and on about how nasty whoever you're pinning the deed on is.

You think it doesn't work?
Why do you think I have a dog?

mac said...

SBD.....Silent But Deadly !

Tom Bailey said...

Mac beat me to it. That was the first time I have thought of that word in years. I would suggest beano.

Secretia said...

When you gotta blow off some steam, let it rip!

* Ashleigh * said...

You? Have gas?!?! I would have never thought.....hehehe