Monday, January 25, 2010

No Fatties ! Uglies may apply though..............

Aloha  my bitches ! Time for mama to give you another "manslation." I swear to God, you can't make this stuff up sometimes. Internet dating sucks, but when you stoop to the level of Craigslist, you know times are tough !

Anyway, you know the rules........ All caps is what he probably really means, and red writing is what I am directly saying.


TITLE: I love thin girls! looks don't matter! I'LL BE DOING YOU FROM BEHIND


Date: 2010-01-24, 2:24PM

I am looking for a petite girl to spoil I MAY PAY FOR A DINNER OR TWO OR BUY YOU BOOZE. I am in a relationship but I have time and money for a side project.

My dream girl would be 5 ft. tall 90 lbs with c cups. FAKE TITS PREFERRED. Does he not have a clue ??

You don't have to be my dream girl but you do need to have tiny hips and skinny waist and legs and firm butt and a gap between your legs! Honey, we're women, we all have a gap between our legs.

If you are taller or shorter that is fine, any race and I don't care if you are good looking or not, just be skinny. NOT ONLY AM I AN UGLY FUCKLING, BUT I HAVE A PAPER BAG TO PUT OVER YOUR HEAD IN CASE YOU ARE ESPECIALLY HIDEOUS.

I am only looking for a no strings attatched part time thing, so you can be in a relationship too if you want. Oh, hey, thanks for your approval.

I want to be your sugar daddy! BABY, I REALLY DON'T HAVE MONEY, I DON'T EVEN REALLY HAVE A JOB, THE MONEY I HAVE IS FROM MY LIVE-IN GIRLFRIEND WHO WORKS TO SUPPORT ME AND OUR CHILD.

I am 6ft tall 190 in good shape and good looking IF I AM OPENLY ADMITTING TO BANGING UGLY GIRLS, HOW ATTRACTIVE DO YOU THINK I REALLY AM ? I just have a fetish for going down on a skinny girl and then riding her hard! THE SMALLER THE GIRL, THE BIGGER MY PENIS WILL FEEL.

I am drug and disease free so you be too! I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER BEEN TESTED. AM JUST SAYING THAT TO TRY AND GET YOU TO USE THE PULL-OUT METHOD.

Reply if you want to trade pics! THE GUT WILL BE PHOTO-SHOPPED OUT. IT WILL JUST POP OUT TO SAY HELLO WHEN WE MEET

I can't wait to get my face between your legs!  I can't wait to put my foot up your ass ! 

10 comments:

Loving Annie said...

What a staggering assh**e.
Unbelievable people like that man exist. Shudder.

mac said...

OH
MY
GOSH !!!

I'm still laughing at your red leter comments to write anything useful here.

I'll try again later :-D

Deine Mutter said...

Hilarious - simply freakin' hilarious!

You are right, you can't make this sh...up! But your manslations are what makes this the great reading it is. I am still roaring and holding on to my chair so I won't fall off from all the laughing....

...start writing that book....

Secretia said...

Right all the way around, that is a funny, but unfortunately true description of the guys who troll on Craigslist. Just looking for someone to squirt it into for free.

Irredento Urbanita said...

I just can say "wwooww". A lot of desperate men in the world.

Take care Señorita

Regards from Barna.

Valery

dadshouse said...

Haha, very funny again. But I have to ask - when are you going to "manslate" an ad that was written by a woman? They're sometimes just as bad! "Over 6 ft. A boyish grin. Dresses well." etc.

Now then, about that gap...

Bathwater said...

And yet if it didn't work he probably wouldn't post it. After all it is free.

Shelly Rayedeane said...

Wow. It sounds like what this guy really wants is for some actress to apply for a part in a porno movie. Perhaps he could star in it as well. That way he could bring in an income while using people to get ahead. What an asshole. I hope he finds the female who will be stupid enough to play that role.

What can I say? Like attracts like. When a person is heartless, and uses other people, eventually karma catches up with their ass.

Senorita said...

David,

I would love to "manslate" an ad written by a woman. Unfortunately, that has been a little more difficult. That is because most of the women posting on Craigslist are obviously "pros".

If you can provide me with a post that you think would make good material for me to "translate", then please send it to me and I will work my magic.

It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I lack good material.

Cathy said...

My very UN thin foot will join yours, mon cher, up the arse of this dolt who wants to plug a skeleton. I'm a coroner's aide, I can direct him to just the perfect bag of bones, and he'll never have to feed her. What kind of male would be this honest about his incredibly moronic self? A gap between her legs? I think I get it: his penis is so teeny that he's only sure of where it is if it's next to a skeletal half-dead pliable...what? What is it he's looking for again, for surely no such female exists. Someone direct him to my mortuary.