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Monday, April 19, 2010

You put WHAT on your face ?

Hello There My Little Medicinal Cremes,

So............... I'm sure you have products in your house that are intended for one thing and then used for an entirely different purpose.............

So today I am going to hone in on some products intended for the anus or vagina that are also useful for your face. Sorry in advance to those of you who don't have a vagina. (I am talking about a real one).

Let the reviewing begin.............


The first product du jour is Preparation H, which is intended for hemorrhoids. Not only is that word hard to spell, but life is also very difficult when your asshole is on fire and you have to act like nothing is burning down and be polite to people. But have no fear, Prep H will put out the flames and soothe your pain ever so gently. It's like you're a baby and mama is there to gently rock you back to sleep. All that, but with your ass.

And................. apparently if you've got bags under your eyes, it helps with that too. Like if you've been up all night and have an interview the next morning, as in what happened to me last month when I had to work late and then get up early as sin. Whip out the Prep H and apply it to the bags under your eyes. But make sure to use the Prep H ointment, because the gel hardens and flakes, and I had some minor flakage going on. But whatevs, that interview led me to working there now so maybe you should try some eye flakage too !

Next product du jour is for the ladies, and can potentially save you some serious cash..............



Monistat Anti Chafing Creme.

This is intended to help with chafing, for example if your thighs constantly rub together (working out has cured that for me), or if your bra strap digs a little too deeply (it's a bitch). It also helps with razor burn.

Guys listen up, I know that some of you are into "manscaping" if you catch my drift, ;) ;)  so if you are experiencing the burn or pain, you could really use this product. The only thing is, make sure you have a girlfriend who uses this product, because trust me, you do not want to be that guy shopping in the feminine hygiene product area, buying Monistat.

Anywho, this product has been recently discovered to be used as a primer (used on your face before you apply makeup, it helps your makeup last longer). Ladies, you know how expensive primers are. They easily run about $40, for a small tube. But Monistat costs about $6, and there is a lot more product.

Dimethicone is the main ingredient in primers, which is the main ingredient in Monistat's Chafing Relief Power Gel. Plus, the tube is way bigger than you would buy at a department store.

I've been using this on my face before I apply my foundation and the rest of my makeup, and it really helps make everything last longer. Especially since my eye makeup is the first to smear and disappear, but this stuff really helps keep things in place.

If you want more reviews on this product, just look at all the reviews on the Internet. Women rave about his product, and it is very popular. Stores are usually sold out of this stuff, so make sure you stock up.


Here is a more detailed review for those that want to read about using this as a primer. I am a total fan of this stuff, and it's saved me some serious cash.

Anywhore, time to get ready for work. Take care of yourselves (including your anuses, vaginas and faces)

Besitos !

30 comments:

MindyMom said...

I already knew about the Prep H secret but the chafing gel as primer?! Seriously? Cool.

Christine Macdonald said...

Been using Prep H under my eyes for years! Love this post!!

Fireblossom said...

I'm like the others, I knew about prep H, but not the Monistat.

Any other gems of alternate use? Vagisil on bug bites or something? hey, just askin'.

Shadowdancer said...

You are a veritable font of vast knowledge. After reading your past few posts, I realize that you can probably help me understand the etymology of various words.

The other day, you referred to some of your co-sweaters as "twats".

Please pardon my lack of understanding, but could you pontificate on the precise meanings and appropriate usages and differences for the following words: twat, cunt, slut, bitch, asshole.

Your knowledge does appear to surpass mine, and being ever-humble, I would like you to school me. I wouldn't want to embarrass myself by misusing the words at the many cocktail parties I so frequently attend.

HMCinCali said...

Great tips!!!

I love Prep H for eyes as it really works and is way cheaper than a tiny tube of eye cream. I am still in search of a good eye cream as I have found the Prep H is best used at night due to it's unpleasant smell.

Perhaps when we go out sometime you can bring over some gel and I can try it. I will check how much my primer was, I expect a lot since it was from Norstroms. LOL

Interesting read, thank you

Candice said...

I knew about the prep H, but it was a newsflash about the monistat.

Regardless,I doubt I'll be slathering either on my face anytime soon. ;)

Red Shoes said...

... I've heard that tampons are good quick first aid for gun shot wounds...

... or maybe not...

~shoes~

dadshouse said...

Fascinating post! All the secrets I didn't really want to know about... haha. I'll go back to being my clueless self, and let you ladies be beautiful.

The Girl With The Mousy Hair said...

Yes Prep H really works. Thanks for the primer tip though!

Ileana said...

Prep H on the face, huh? Never heard of that before! I'm going to have to read more about Monistat. Thanks for sharing. You look like you have great skin!

mac said...

Maybe I wasn't too far off when I called that lady Ass Face yesterday?

One for the guys:
If you give a Lawyer Viagra, he gets taller.

Anonymous said...

OMG. I love you.

I heard about using the PrepH for the bags under my eyes, but I had major flaking issues when I tried it so I quit.

But I was using the GEL! I'll be trying it again with the creme next time. Thx! :o)

VJ said...

The 1st time I heard about the PrepH deal was from this character:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Johansen

He called it a 'quickie Detroit face lift'. Swore by it too. But yeah, why not mix & match if the base is basically the same & mostly harmless? As long as it washes off in the morn & you save some coin. You're a head of the game. Cheers, 'VJ'

Mike Minzes said...

Hmmm...I'm just not that into my face as to put these products on them HAHA

Anonymous said...

Did you know that conditioner can be used as a meat beating cream in the shower?

Heff said...

Prep H has MANY USES.

Personally, I use Preparation H to shrink the swelling in my MASSIVE DONG right after stretching out some extremely lucky pussy.....

Within ten minutes, I can usually get my pants back on.

The stuff works miracles.

MommyHeadache said...

Words of wisdom indeed! One thing you shouldn't do though (this happened to cough a friend) is masturbate with a Deep Heat stick even if the top is on as it causes extreme burning but not in a good way ...or so i've been told

Danielle said...

I use prep H every day and have for years. I am going to have to try the Monistat though!
Thanks

Laury@TheFitnessDish said...

Um, I have totally tried the prep H under my eyes--I hid it from my hubby when we first moved in together b/c I didn't want him to think I had it for what it's marketed for (eek!)--I have since switched to bioelements, but I think the prep H got my eyes through some days after sleep and I didn't get along!

Just telling it like it is said...

Wow I had no idea about the monistat...thanks...
and ummmm guys if you are feeling the burn...that's not a good sign I'm just saying!!
Great tips I'll keep in mind!!!

Just telling it like it is said...

shoes...you can use tampons for stopping a bloody nose...
crotch rockets is what we used to call them in the ER

Indi said...

Apparently salad cream's very good for the condition of your hair.. Heinz make it.. Not that I've ever made a slald n chicked the dressing in my hair ;)

Indi

x

PS might try the Prep H one!!

PorkStar said...

Id try the monistat thing.. but yeah, awkward for me to buy that shit

Anonymous said...

You and your vast knoweledge of stuff that is interesting, yet also "LOL" worthy. =P

I've heard of the Prep H trick before. Not the other tho!

Jimmy's Journal said...

I heard about the use of Prep H for wrinkes and eyes before. They say it works wonders.

I used to have a vagina but my ex-wife took it with her after our divorce.

Jimmy

Memphis said...

"you do not want to be that guy shopping in the feminine hygiene product area"

You know it, girl!

mac said...

I just had to stop back in for another comment.

Realy guys?
You have a problem buying feminine hygeine stuff?
Nope, not me. I used to proudly shop there for my lady. If anyone ever had an issue with it, I would just point out that I had a WOMAN at home.
You know what else is fun? Go to the pharmacy, walk up to the counter with the really old lady cashier and by nothing but a 12 pack of connies and a gallon of Gatoraide.
Oh yeah, a devilish grin can only add to the fun.

Anonymous said...

lol .....OK Senorita,anything for a dark woman? I need to do something about my face! I want it smooth as a baby!

Unknown said...

I don't have a "V".. but have access to one. Err... I mean the products for them. LOL!

natalie said...

dear Senorita
Monistat anti chafing creme..that sounds like a great idea!
ummm very amusing how you put it about shopping..:)
hugs and havea geat weekend!
natalie
Lurkynat