Saturday, April 8, 2006

Cakes, Men and Puppies

Hello All,

I am watching Crazy/Beautiful right now on TV. Jay Hernandez is so hot. I remember when I first saw it in the movies. He had me drooling. Kirstin Dunst's character had him going crazy for her. He skipped school, walked out in the middle of a midterm and pretty much f'ed up his only chance at his future. Just for her. Hell sometimes I can't even get a man to call me, lol.

I have my cake decorating class tommorow. I made the cake and the frosting last night. I ate some of the mix. After I blended the cake mix I couldn't help myself. It was fluffy and really good. I had to make two cakes because I undercooked the first cake and it fell apart. It was kinda funny. It just crumbled. But eventually it all worked out. Tommorow I will decorate the cake that I made in class with the frosting I made.

I made the frosting. I used 2 cups of crisco and 2 whole pounds of powdered sugar. Oh, that and some meringue powder and artificial butter flavoring. I realized how unhealty cake is while I was mixing all the stuff. Yet I still gobble it up. Now that is true cake love.

This weekend the shock of everything is beginning to wear off and I am starting to feel the sadness. I cried a lot today. It just hurts, and I feel so isolated. I called the guy I've been seeing lately. His phone was off. He told me to call him later. I really needed to talk to him. The one time I try to reach out he's unavailable. Unavailable all day. And he didn't tell me beforehand. So I called him over and over and felt like a complete idiot for doing so.

 I really like him alot. I feel like we have a lot in common and find him interesting. Most men that I talk to are boring or just want a piece of ass. This guy isn't like that. But I don't know if he really likes me back. He tells me he does, and we always have a blast when we go out. But sometimes words aren't good enough. I mean, what about when we are apart ? We're both really busy and don't see each other for weeks at a time. And he really doesn't talk to me much or ask when he'll see me again. I'm doing all the texting. It's like I am playing the guessing game of if I am gonna hear from him again. I'm gonna see how much longer this continues before I write the whole thing off as me being young, naive and stupid. It would really make me sad if it came to that because I like the guy a lot. But I am getting sick of feeling rejected. But considering how awful my week has been I think I would get over it.

What I really wish I had was a cute, affectionate, attention-starved puppy that needs constant attention. I wish I had a dog that would sit and look at me with those puppy dog eyes and whine and snuggle up to me. Because I am affectionate and need love too. I wouldn't have to worry about doing anything wrong, nor would I have to be waiting for phone calls. Nor would I worry about coming across as too desperate. And that dog would love me unconditionally. And I would do the same. I know there would be a lot of doggy mess to clean up and a lot of responsibility, but it would still be worth it for me.

My friend from New York is coming to visit me in a couple of weeks for the weekend and to get a tour of California. I am looking forward to it because I am gonna show him places I've never even been to so it will be like a new experience for the both of us.

Anyways, I'm gonna end this entry here. I know I've just about spilled my guts and then some.

Ciao Ciao.


kdwsunshine said...

It sounds like you are going through some major thought processes lately. The guy sounds nice, but if he doesn't do anything, it sounds like to me that hes not the one for you. He should want to see you all the time, want to call you, etc. I don't know.
I hope that you have fun with your company coming to town, it sounds like a blast.
Puppies are wonderful but a lot of responsibility. Why dont you go to a shelter and find a dog thats about 2 yrs old that needs love and attention? You cant go wrong there.

happinessdreams said...

Hmm, I don't think that guy is the one for you. Its like we've had this conversation before, I've experienced the same exact thing. Go to your local ASPCA and check out the puppies. Having your friend over should be fun.

zoorisk said...

I am glad that you are having so much fun making cakes and eating them as well.  About this guy who you are supposedly seening.  He is not for you, he making you act like a chicken head with the constant calling and texting and getting no answer back.  It is time to kick him to the curb, move on with your life.  You are a very hot looking young lady, this guy should be drooling all over you and wanting to spend every minute with you.  You should be the one controling the shots, you should be the one deciding whether you should talk to him or not.  Not the other way around.  You got your friend visiting you from New York enjoy your time together.  I am sure you will have a wonderful time together, I am sure he will be drooling all over you and wanting to spend every minute with you.  You may not need to buy a puppy.