I am watching Crazy/Beautiful right now on TV. Jay Hernandez is so hot. I remember when I first saw it in the movies. He had me drooling. Kirstin Dunst's character had him going crazy for her. He skipped school, walked out in the middle of a midterm and pretty much f'ed up his only chance at his future. Just for her. Hell sometimes I can't even get a man to call me, lol.
I have my cake decorating class tommorow. I made the cake and the frosting last night. I ate some of the mix. After I blended the cake mix I couldn't help myself. It was fluffy and really good. I had to make two cakes because I undercooked the first cake and it fell apart. It was kinda funny. It just crumbled. But eventually it all worked out. Tommorow I will decorate the cake that I made in class with the frosting I made.
I made the frosting. I used 2 cups of crisco and 2 whole pounds of powdered sugar. Oh, that and some meringue powder and artificial butter flavoring. I realized how unhealty cake is while I was mixing all the stuff. Yet I still gobble it up. Now that is true cake love.
This weekend the shock of everything is beginning to wear off and I am starting to feel the sadness. I cried a lot today. It just hurts, and I feel so isolated. I called the guy I've been seeing lately. His phone was off. He told me to call him later. I really needed to talk to him. The one time I try to reach out he's unavailable. Unavailable all day. And he didn't tell me beforehand. So I called him over and over and felt like a complete idiot for doing so.
I really like him alot. I feel like we have a lot in common and find him interesting. Most men that I talk to are boring or just want a piece of ass. This guy isn't like that. But I don't know if he really likes me back. He tells me he does, and we always have a blast when we go out. But sometimes words aren't good enough. I mean, what about when we are apart ? We're both really busy and don't see each other for weeks at a time. And he really doesn't talk to me much or ask when he'll see me again. I'm doing all the texting. It's like I am playing the guessing game of if I am gonna hear from him again. I'm gonna see how much longer this continues before I write the whole thing off as me being young, naive and stupid. It would really make me sad if it came to that because I like the guy a lot. But I am getting sick of feeling rejected. But considering how awful my week has been I think I would get over it.
What I really wish I had was a cute, affectionate, attention-starved puppy that needs constant attention. I wish I had a dog that would sit and look at me with those puppy dog eyes and whine and snuggle up to me. Because I am affectionate and need love too. I wouldn't have to worry about doing anything wrong, nor would I have to be waiting for phone calls. Nor would I worry about coming across as too desperate. And that dog would love me unconditionally. And I would do the same. I know there would be a lot of doggy mess to clean up and a lot of responsibility, but it would still be worth it for me.
My friend from New York is coming to visit me in a couple of weeks for the weekend and to get a tour of California. I am looking forward to it because I am gonna show him places I've never even been to so it will be like a new experience for the both of us.
Anyways, I'm gonna end this entry here. I know I've just about spilled my guts and then some.