Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My thoughts.

Hello there my lovelies,

Over the weekend I decorated my first cake. I still need to download the pics onto my computer. It looked pretty good for being my first cake ever. I thought that as a cake decorator I wouldn't want to eat my own cakes. Boy was I wrong. I ate a lot of my own cake. I didn't realize how much of a sweet tooth I really have. I brought it into work to share and my coworkers had some, but not a lot. Apparently the frosting I made was too sweet. I have to agree with them on that. I used 2 cups of crisco and 2 lbs of powdered sugar. But who cares. At least it looked good. I can always use less sugar in the future.

When I went into class we all had to bring a baked cake and frosting I made. It was funny seeing what the other girls brought. One girl kinda burned her cake. And the other girl made her frosting all wrong. It looked like tapioca pudding. I did a good job with the cake and frosting. However I had a hard time spreading it all over the cake without getting crumbs in the frosting. I also had a little trouble decorating with the icing. But I know that with practice I will get better.

Today I had training at work all day. We went over typical rental procedures and it was interesting for the most part. I have to study for the major exam so that I can get promoted. I am getting more qualified and I feel less stressed about studying because I finally got some good study material.

I am still having guy issues. I really haven't expressed to the guy yet because I am not sure how to go about it. Plus he is going thru a really difficult time right now and I am just giving him a little space. But I won't be making excuses for much longer.

He says one thing and acts different. We haven't gone out in such a long time. And though he calls me once in a while to talk and keep me posted, he still hasn't asked when we will go out. There is still a lot of him that is a mystery.

Although I know he means well, I still feel jerked around and I am so irritated right now. If I were to cut him off right now, I would feel really sad. Because I really do like him and I wish that he could see that. But in the end, I would probably feel better about myself. Better about myself that I am sticking to my values and getting the respect I deserve. Right now I feel more rejected than anything and I am really not that hard to please. I really like him. And the sad thing is that he probably thinks that I don't even notice these things.

I don't want to come across as the nagging type of girl so I am giving him a lot of space. I don't know how to really express myself without coming across as demanding or nagging. I guess this is what happens for never being in a real relationship. I still have lots to learn. We haven't gone out for very long and we haven't even gotten that serious. Who knows ? He may not even be that serious about me. I am giving him a few weeks to see if he'll change like he said he would. My guess is that he won't but whatever. I have a few weeks.

I really need to express these thoughts like I am right now more for myself than anything. I don't feel like talking to others about it anymore. It's getting old and I have other things to talk about anyways. I need to see my thoughts and go back and reread them later. Plus he actually can read this blog too. So if he wants to know how I am feeling, then he can find out for himself. But he hasn't lately. That is also a clue to me.

Anyways, I have a meeting to go to. It is gonna be so boring.


lmitc89854 said...

You want some advice from someone who knows very little? I am old enough to be your mother, but have you read that book, "He's just not that into you"? You sound like a fantastic girl and deserve much better. You are beautiful, smart and talented. Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself " I deserve much more!" I am so surprised that the men aren't all drooling over you! My advice, like all men, but be discriminating.

happinessdreams said...

I can't wait to see pics of your cake. Men!

zoorisk said...

I can't wait to see the pics of your cake, I bet that cake tasted very good.  I am glad to know that you are finally getting the training you need to get you better prepare for the up coming exam.  I wish you the very best of luck.  If he is going thru a difficult time it is his responsibilty to keep in the loop.  If he is saying one thing and acting another way then it is time to kick him to the curb.  Dont give it a few weeks you have already done that.  You are investing you emotions and energy into a relationship that appears to be going no where.  You have very right to nag and be demanding, you need answers which appears that he is not willing to give.  As for giving him space, how much space does he want!!!  Does he expect for you to wait.  I say kick it to the curb and move on, there are more fish in the sea to choose from.

kdwsunshine said...

My grandma was a professional cake decorator and she always kept a cup of water beside her when she decorated. She would dip what she was spreading the icing with in the water and this helped it go on smoother with no crumbs..try it next time. :)

Men are so confusing, keep your head up!