My thoughts.

Hello there my lovelies,

Over the weekend I decorated my first cake. I still need to download the pics onto my computer. It looked pretty good for being my first cake ever. I thought that as a cake decorator I wouldn't want to eat my own cakes. Boy was I wrong. I ate a lot of my own cake. I didn't realize how much of a sweet tooth I really have. I brought it into work to share and my coworkers had some, but not a lot. Apparently the frosting I made was too sweet. I have to agree with them on that. I used 2 cups of crisco and 2 lbs of powdered sugar. But who cares. At least it looked good. I can always use less sugar in the future.

When I went into class we all had to bring a baked cake and frosting I made. It was funny seeing what the other girls brought. One girl kinda burned her cake. And the other girl made her frosting all wrong. It looked like tapioca pudding. I did a good job with the cake and frosting. However I had a hard time spreading it all over the cake without getting crumbs in the frosting. I also had a little trouble decorating with the icing. But I know that with practice I will get better.

Today I had training at work all day. We went over typical rental procedures and it was interesting for the most part. I have to study for the major exam so that I can get promoted. I am getting more qualified and I feel less stressed about studying because I finally got some good study material.

I am still having guy issues. I really haven't expressed to the guy yet because I am not sure how to go about it. Plus he is going thru a really difficult time right now and I am just giving him a little space. But I won't be making excuses for much longer.

He says one thing and acts different. We haven't gone out in such a long time. And though he calls me once in a while to talk and keep me posted, he still hasn't asked when we will go out. There is still a lot of him that is a mystery.

Although I know he means well, I still feel jerked around and I am so irritated right now. If I were to cut him off right now, I would feel really sad. Because I really do like him and I wish that he could see that. But in the end, I would probably feel better about myself. Better about myself that I am sticking to my values and getting the respect I deserve. Right now I feel more rejected than anything and I am really not that hard to please. I really like him. And the sad thing is that he probably thinks that I don't even notice these things.

I don't want to come across as the nagging type of girl so I am giving him a lot of space. I don't know how to really express myself without coming across as demanding or nagging. I guess this is what happens for never being in a real relationship. I still have lots to learn. We haven't gone out for very long and we haven't even gotten that serious. Who knows ? He may not even be that serious about me. I am giving him a few weeks to see if he'll change like he said he would. My guess is that he won't but whatever. I have a few weeks.

I really need to express these thoughts like I am right now more for myself than anything. I don't feel like talking to others about it anymore. It's getting old and I have other things to talk about anyways. I need to see my thoughts and go back and reread them later. Plus he actually can read this blog too. So if he wants to know how I am feeling, then he can find out for himself. But he hasn't lately. That is also a clue to me.

Anyways, I have a meeting to go to. It is gonna be so boring.