So Whats Up ?
Guess what my little French kisses ? I am leaving to Paris in less than a month. That means that I am starting to make plans. I will scan my passport and start backing up my emergency info, calling my credit card company and memorizing my pin numerically. Because guess what ? There are no letters on ATMS in Europe so if you don't get that together, you are fucked and not in a good way.
I am also looking for a place to stay there. God help me.
What else ?
Oh yes, amazingly I lost a couple of pounds over the weekend. Go me !
You know what else ? I bought a pair of Assets. They are made by the founder of Spanx, but cheaper than Spanx. Basically it's like a girdle for your thighs, butt, hips and stomach.
So I broke down and bought one. I figured, what the hell........
Totally hilarious. Imagine a pair of stockings for a three year old with a little room on top for your stomach and that's what you've got. While I was trying to stuff my fat ass into this small elastic space, I felt ridiculous. I wonder what other women who are larger than I try to look like stuffing their duffs into this ridiculous contraption. And does it work for them ? Honestly, I don't think so. And besides, it's false advertising. Men hate that shit. They're gonna find out sooner or later right ? Especially those freaks that like to do it with the lights on. Nothing wrong with that though, gotta find out what you're getting into, dontcha think ? Oooh, that was a pun and it was totally unintended !
Anywhooters, when I was done sucking in my stomach and trying to pull it up, I took a good look at myself in the mirror and guess what ? I still looked the same size. I mean, the fat is still there, right ? Where's it gonna go ? Suffocate your organs. My thighs weren't any farther apart. And I actually felt fatter and bloated because I had stuffed myself into something that looked like your little baby niece would wear.
I understand that this is supposed to help you look smoother, but I was not flabby to begin with. I just need to lose ten pounds. I will try it tomorrow under my work clothes and see if I look smoother, but honestly, who gives a shit ? I don't dress to impress at work. I have a lot of bending down and heavy lifting to do and not the good kind.
Anyway, that is all for now my loves !
Love, hugs and French kisses !