Thursday, August 26, 2010

Well, That Was Sufficiently Awkward !

Hello There My Little Furballs !

What's Up ? Miss Me ?

Remember my last post where I was talking about how I caught a dude looking at my nether regions ? Well, it isn't just men. I caught my female coworker looking down there yesterday. She did it three times. I had to look down and make sure my fly wasn't open.  Awkward ! I have come to the conclusion that while it looks like people are looking at my nether regions, that they are probably just looking down in that direction, not necessarily at my bits especially since they are covered up in baggy pants. Still awkward though. I always get scared that my fly is open. It happened to me once while I was on a flight. My fly was open and people on the plane could see my hot pink underpants. But to my credit, at least I was wearing underpants.

Anyway, that isn't really why I am writing today's posting. For the past couple of days I've been dogsitting for my friend. As I was walking one of the dogs, I hid my cellphone in my bra. I didn't have enough room in my pockets, but I had enough room in my cleavage.

Anywhore............ As I was walking down the street minding my own biz, some dude asks me if I have a phone because he locked himself out of his house. I pretended I didn't hear him and asked him to repeat himself to buy more time. I wanted to say no, but I felt bad, I didn't want to leave him stranded on the street. Especially since he looked so ridiculous.

This guy managed to lock himself out of his house wearing black spandex pants and no t-shirt. And the spandex pants just looked wrong. I don't know if they were for biking or scuba diving or what but I am sure his nuts had no breathing room. And it looked like he trimmed his chest hair. I was like WTF????

The guy stood there and told me he felt like a total idiot for locking himself out, and I sort of laughed at him, and told the dog right in front of him that he locked himself out. I also told him the dog was skiddish around men. I really know how to make 'em feel good, don't I ?

I wasn't all mean, of course I let him use my phone and he wasn't offended by me. It was awkward having him see me pull out my phone from my bra. But hey, at least the phone wasn't cold. What was also very  awkward was when he was trying to make friendly conversation with me. Asking me if I was from around this area.  Of course, bitch, I am walking dogs. I have to be accessible to them ! Wearing retarded spandex pants+no shirt on a street + lame questions= not a winning combination.

I told him I was not from around (even though I worked a block or two away) and I politely wished him luck. Plus you should have seen his front yard. Very well taken care of. He had to be married or at the very least involved.

So that is all for now loves. Sorry if I offended any men out there that may wear nuthugger pants.

Besitos !


Big Mark 243 said...

No, I am from Michigan, the home of the Fab 5, the college basketball crew that popularized the baggy shorts look for basketball. I can not remember wearing 'nuthugging' anything except for jockey style undies!!

Why do people, male and female look at your nether regions? Hopefully, you should realize that I don't 'perv' over you, but were I to take a guess, it is because you are sexy!!

It does not mean that women (at least not all) want you, but I do think they are envious and I believe that the human animal is drawn by things that are beautiful and attractive. clink, clink!

Kerrie said...

Have you considered you might have something worth looking at in the region?
Nut huggers are never a good look and best kept to cycling.

Organic Meatbag said...

Well then, I'm just going to take my white spandex nut huggers and leave! Hmmmpppph....don't worry though, I haven't shaved my chest lately...hahaha
Miss you, S :)

Bev said...

HA! Hilarious! I've kept my phone between the cleavage before and had it ring while I'm trying to pay for something - awkward!

You were nice to help the man in spandex pants. I mean, seriously - spandex pants?! WTF? Is it 1985?

Red Shoes said...

Hmmm... did he begin to lick the phone? Just askin'... ;o)

'anywhore...' LMAO!!!

I did have this rather bizarre dream not long ago that I haven't blogged about... mostly because I don't know what to say about it... but it had to do with a bunch of midgets in biker shorts...

That was moist definitely one of those 'What The Fuck' moments!!!!!


Anonymous said...

HAHA! He sounded like a catch...Spandex pants are never a good choice for anyone to wear...

PorkStar said...

So you saw his front yard? very well taken care of? Mine too!

When we go on our trip imma see what it is that everyone is looking at in there and Ill tell you with more certainty if it's your fupa or your crotch.

Besitos mami

Riot Kitty said...

Once again, you crack me up! Thanks for the laughs!


I carry my phone on my cleavage too and it fits. I need to run.

Jimmy's Journal said...

I don't wear those types of pant (too much of a chance of hurting myself) and I dont wear those baggy ghetto pants either.

As for looking at nether regions, a minister once told me that I would go blind if I continually did that.

When a see a particularly nice looking girl with semi-exposed nether regions, I sometimes cover one eye and take a chance on the other.


Scarlet Ily said...

What is it with men (and now women) looking at your crotch? I'd ask one of my friends (preferrably male) to observe me and see what it is that is so entertaining or intriguing down there! Seriously. If you wear baggy pants, what the hell are they looking at...pleats??

PS - I hate it when guys wear Rod Steward "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" pants. They only worked on Jim the 60s!

Just telling it like it is said...

I think that they are trying to not look at your boobs if you ask fabulous in your new pic

LL Cool Joe said...

Black spandex pants are never a good idea. Although nothing could every crush my manhood. ;)

Fireblossom said...

merrowwwwwww back, biach! LOL