Hello There My Little Furballs !
What's Up ? Miss Me ?
Remember my last post where I was talking about how I caught a dude looking at my nether regions ? Well, it isn't just men. I caught my female coworker looking down there yesterday. She did it three times. I had to look down and make sure my fly wasn't open. Awkward ! I have come to the conclusion that while it looks like people are looking at my nether regions, that they are probably just looking down in that direction, not necessarily at my bits especially since they are covered up in baggy pants. Still awkward though. I always get scared that my fly is open. It happened to me once while I was on a flight. My fly was open and people on the plane could see my hot pink underpants. But to my credit, at least I was wearing underpants.
Anyway, that isn't really why I am writing today's posting. For the past couple of days I've been dogsitting for my friend. As I was walking one of the dogs, I hid my cellphone in my bra. I didn't have enough room in my pockets, but I had enough room in my cleavage.
Anywhore............ As I was walking down the street minding my own biz, some dude asks me if I have a phone because he locked himself out of his house. I pretended I didn't hear him and asked him to repeat himself to buy more time. I wanted to say no, but I felt bad, I didn't want to leave him stranded on the street. Especially since he looked so ridiculous.
This guy managed to lock himself out of his house wearing black spandex pants and no t-shirt. And the spandex pants just looked wrong. I don't know if they were for biking or scuba diving or what but I am sure his nuts had no breathing room. And it looked like he trimmed his chest hair. I was like WTF????
The guy stood there and told me he felt like a total idiot for locking himself out, and I sort of laughed at him, and told the dog right in front of him that he locked himself out. I also told him the dog was skiddish around men. I really know how to make 'em feel good, don't I ?
I wasn't all mean, of course I let him use my phone and he wasn't offended by me. It was awkward having him see me pull out my phone from my bra. But hey, at least the phone wasn't cold. What was also very awkward was when he was trying to make friendly conversation with me. Asking me if I was from around this area. Of course, bitch, I am walking dogs. I have to be accessible to them ! Wearing retarded spandex pants+no shirt on a street + lame questions= not a winning combination.
I told him I was not from around (even though I worked a block or two away) and I politely wished him luck. Plus you should have seen his front yard. Very well taken care of. He had to be married or at the very least involved.
So that is all for now loves. Sorry if I offended any men out there that may wear nuthugger pants.