Saturday, August 21, 2010

Senorita Shennanigans

Well Hello There My Little Chocolates !

You know what ? I've been a little MIA and I SO need to make my way around blogland here. I need to catch up on your bloggies and please don't think that I forgot you. Because I haven't forgotten my lovelies !

Gimme a kiss !

So here's the latest in Senoritaland:

-My friend from my legal classes came back from Russia and we went to have a hookah smoke at a Greek Restaurant. So much fun ! I started smoking hookah after I started bellydance a while back (a date introduced it to me). It's fruit flavored tobacco and I like a good smoke a couple of times a year. The place we went to (Thea) was a little overpriced, but I've always wanted to go because my teacher performs her bellydance routines there. Did you know that they have Ed Hardy flavored tobacco ? I was like W...T... Eff ?????? My friends didn't understand. I had to explain that Ed Hardy is a label caters to bonafide douchebags, pantywastes and cocknozzles. And that we were not going to try Ed Hardy hookah smokes.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun because in true Senorita fashion I told dirty jokes and was a little vulgar with the pipe. I would plop it down on her like a penis, but at least she wasn't offended. And that was just the tip of the iceberg with my shennanigans (I just said tip).

At first I looked around and thought we were being dumb, maybe offensive, but then I didn't feel bad because the table across from us wasn't any better. The girls were really pretty, but one girl kept talking about Victoria's Secret models and how Alessandra Ambrosio is so "bangable" and how she would "holla" at that. At one point in the conversation they were talking about finding sugar daddies. When I looked over at them, you could see up the chick's skirt. I was like OMG ! To her credit, she had a napkin covering her, but not really, it was bunched up and between her legs and it looked all wrong. It was so sad because when I sat down, I initially thought that the girls at the table were really pretty and exotic looking. And then they had to ruin it by opening their mouths.

But you know, I shouldn't stand here in my beautiful glass mansion and throw rocks, right ? I have no doubt at ALL that people have thought the same thing about me. Keep in mind that I may be verbally offensive, but I usually wear pants, and if I wear a skirt, I always keep my business covered and my legs crossed !

But I didn't give a shit last night about how people perceived me because I was out to have fun with my friend and she and her hubs had a blast with me and loved my jokes.

On Thursday I went salsa dancing with my friend and THAT was a blast too. Total partner swapping going on, so I got to dance with a new man ever minute. Total sausage fest as the men outnumbered the chicks. I am getting a lot better at the moves and I see a lot of the same people there every week, so it is cool that we are all getting better together.

Although it was a little wierd because one of my partners was as short as me (NOT used to that, I am 5 ft). Anyways, my hands were on his shoulders, and my arms kinda brushed up against his arms. I felt something prickly. Turns out this dude shaved his arms. I have never brushed up against a pair of shaved man arms. Wierd.

Okay, so time to cut this short because my car needs to get smogged. Oh yeah, my car is gonna get smogged good ;)

Besitos !


Shadowdancer said...

You should take me with you when you go out on your next "hen party".

Charlene said...

I just hate that when I see a bunch of people acting like I'm trying NOT to act!

Roger the psycho stalker shaved his arms, legs, chest, back. He was hairy, but that was stupid.

Big Mark 243 said...

Nice picture on your profile!

It is always refreshing to hear from you, especially when you are out 'Senorita-ing'. Be well, kid!

Red Shoes said...

YOU, my dear, are the SHIZNITS!!!!!

... and trust me, that's a GOOD thing!!!!

I am sure that you and your friend were the class of the establishment... even if I do admit to being a bit biased in your favor!!!! ;o)


Fireblossom said...

Alessandra Ambrosio is ridiculously hot. I started drooling over her before she was even in VS catalogs, back when she had really dark hair. But at the same time, there is just something in her face that makes me wonder, if she spoke, if I wouldn't just wish for her to hush, lol.

It's weird because I'm usually more likely to notice some woman in jeans with motorcycle grease on her hands. I don't usually like that whole high femme look.

Not that Alessandra Ambrosio, you know, gives a shit what I like lol.

Anonymous said...


bring those lips here and i will kiss you

Jessica said...

Shaved arms are weird.

I've always wanted to try the Hookah. Not much opportunity in these parts, though.

Riot Kitty said...

I'll have to make sure to use the word "cocknozzle" sometime soon.

PorkStar said...

a little vulgar with the pipe <---- hahahhahaha. I couldnt expect anything less of you my dear. That's why we are BFFs. We are each other's apprentices and teachers... muahaha

Scarlet Ily said...

Ed Hardy flavored tobacco?? Imaginate tú. I've heard it all. I wonder if there's a hookah-smoking restaurant here in Miami. Does it have to be Greek? I'll have to look for one.

Sounds like you did "la rueda" salsa dancing. That's the best! Keep enjoying life, Chica! I love hearing your stories.

LL Cool Joe said...

Time to go and hide my favourite Ed Hardy jacket flying jacket....

mac said...

Sitting aroun smoking a Hookah and being vulgar sounds like a great evening to me :-)

Top it off with a Baklava - perfect !

Danielle said...

Most every guy I know that works out shaves their arms. Must be a muscle head think.
Glad you had fun!