Hello there my lovelies..............

I am gonna start off this entry with a little too much info, and I am gonna be frank. I am kinda annoyed. I looked around at some shops today and I can´t find my damn bra size. What the hell is up with that ???? That isn´t right. I should be able to walk in the store just like any other woman and buy a bra if I want.

And my rant isn´t over yet. The pants I find here in the shops are too long for me. They fit my behind just fine, but not my legs. I don´t like that. I know that I am short and have a big butt, but I know that I am not the only one out here built like that. There are a lot of women here in Spain built like me, or shall I say that I am built like most of the women around here.

I think that I should go into business for women that aren´t proportionate by the standards of most clothing shops. I have always had a hard time finding clothes that fit me just right. I really wonder how many women struggle like I do. I really do like to shop, but it´s hard work.

What else ? hmmmmmmmm................

Oh yeah. You all know that I was going to move to San Sebastian and be an au-pair back in September. But I ended up leaving that position after a week and I came back here to Barcelona. I made that decision quickly and pretty much left quickly. I didn´t even really give myself a chance to try and adjust to life in San Sebastian. I think about what I did all the time.

I thought that I may regret that decision, but I still don´t, and looking back I still wouldn´t want to go back. It´s really wierd. My life would have been so much easier there. It all seemed like the perfect idea. I was going to live with a family of two doctors in a rich, beautiful city. The ocean and countryside were both near, and France was just a stonesthrow away. The boys I was watching were good boys and respectful of me for the most part. I was living in a big house on the mountain with a pool and the mother cooked good food for us every day.

But I felt so trapped and helpless there and I wanted to leave from the start. I had to work from 3pm until the boys went to bed. I didn´t want to be confined in a house all day with the boys. I also couldn´t learn any Spanish because I always had to speak to the boys in English. The mother didn´t speak English too well but she still wouldn´t speak to me in English.

But most of all I didn´t want to be cleaning and caring for children all day. There is nothing wrong with doing that all day, and I do not think that it´s beneath me. However, it was definitely not for me. And I really learned that while I was there. I wanted to be working with adults.

My life here in Barcelona is harder. I have to do everything myself, and I am working in a job that I absolutely detest as a telemarketer. But I at least work woth people my age and we get along well. That job also ends in the evening so I have evenings free and I can do whatever I please after that. And here in Barcelona it is really easy to meet people and socialize. I also don´t have to depend on anyone here in Barcelona like I did in San Sebastian. I had to depend on the family to help me get places because we lived on a mountain. I am independent and I can do everything myself here. And if I don´t like it anymore the airport is only 5 minutes away.

Life is really funny. Sometimes things that seem like the perfect solution simply aren´t right.