Reality Check

Hello Everyone,

I have about 400 Euros earned from my job plus another 300 Euros in a deposit that my roommate has. I am so tempted to take all that money, pack my bags and go to the airport and wait for the next flight out and just go back to the United States. It is so easy and tempting right now.

I love Barcelona, but I absolutely hate my job as a telemarketer. It´s a shitty-ass job with no respect. I would rather clean toilets because at least they don´t talk back. Hell, I would even go as far as saying that I would rather dance on tables and get hollered at for money.

I couldn´t imagine what telemarketers in the US go through. I call people in Europe at their jobs. They are at least civil to me most of the time. I know that people in the US are downright vicious when they are disturbed in their own homes. (I can´t blame them, though)

To have a chance at getting legal working papers I have to stay there for another 5 months. And it´s not even guaranteed. My bosses could just say no at the end. But I don´t think I can stay there that long. I am thinking a lot right now. Maybe I would be happier working illegally and doing something I love : Like teaching English. But on the other hand, I really would rather have legal rights like everyone else.

This job is hell. AND illegal in many ways. Spain is a haven for people to set up investment companies and survive through the many loopholes. If you don´t know what I mean, I will explain it in more detail after I don´t work there anymore. What I am doing is not so wrong. I am just making calls. But I am tired of spending 40 hours a week at the telephone and getting rejected each time. I am also tired of my boss telling me that my results aren´t good enough. He should take his thumb and shove it up his ass. And I am also tired of all the secrecy in the office. They think that us telemarketeres that make the calls are stupid and can´t figure anything out. Today we had 2 men come in the office to fix the air conditioning. They came a little unannounced at that kinda scared my bosses a little. Haha. I am willing to bet that my bosses don´t even use their real names.

I am so glad that I will have a little vacation in a month. the office will be closing down for Christmas. Then I will have more time to enjoy Barcelona and decide whether staying here longer is worth it.

I mean, I can´t be putting it all down because at the moment it ishow I am able to stay here and enjoy Barcelona. I am usually back to my happy self the moment I leave the office. And on top of that my bosses are human beings and aren´t complete assholes. When I mentioned that I wasn´t feeling well yesterday my boss told me that I am welcome to go home. I remember that when I was a waitress at Red Lobster my bosses would have a little hissy fit if I asked to go home because I was sick.

I survived the summer here in Barcelona. For about a month I had very, very little money a lot of time on my hands and not a whole lot of friends. Living in a foreign city with almost no money and a lot of free time is hard. I will never forget how I felt. So even though I hate my job, I feel better than I did during the summer because at least I can buy food and go out once in a while.

I talked to two of my other coworkers from Argentina yesterday. They told me that they have to stay here in Spain and don´t have any way to go home. To make enough money in Argentina to buy a flight to Spain they have to save up 6 months of their pay. They told me that Argentina is a hard place to live. They also laughed at me when I told them that I can´t deal with the job anymore.

They told me that at least I have the option of going home when I want, and that if I want I can even come back to Spain one day. They on the other hand, don´t have the same options as me. They are wondering why I, an American with an education am working in Spain for so little when I could be putting the degree to use back home for more money.

I wondered the same thing myself, but this trip has done me a lot of good. The United States is very diverse and there are a lot of different cultures. However, you can´t really expand your horizons unless you leave and live in another country. I really feel that I am learning a lot. And on top of that I did things that I usually wouldn´t do in the US.

Anyways, I needed to get that off my chest. I think I will be staying here at least until January. But it wouldn´t good for me to pack up and leave right now. I think I should give myself another chance.

Ciao for now.