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Monday, January 3, 2005

Hello There my lovelies.........

Yes, it´s me again ! I am back, writing for the second time in the same day.

I am a very confused individual. Those of you that know my might go a little further and say that I can be a drama queen. I am so confused at this point in my life. Sometimes I just wish that I had my life straightened out.

I am not feeling so happy. So what else is new ? I have had a lot of entries like this.

I am making my plans to come home and I realized that I really do love this city.  But I also feel trapped here and want my freedom that I had back in CA back. I don´t know what to do. I feel like I am never just going to be happy. You know what I mean? All I really want is to be happy. But I did have a lot of happy monents here, too. But not right now.

Earlier today at work I just wanted nothing more than to go back home. Then I walked around the city after work and realized how much I love Barcelona. Hell, I don´t even know what I want sometimes.

I am also depressed because I called my old boss at Red Lobster and asked for my job as a waitress back. He told me that he would think about it. I couldn´t even get a definite yes on a stupid waitressing job. To be honest I would hate having to go back to serving. True, I need the money and would do it if I had to. However, I did that while I was in school. I graduated. Now is the time to actually get a job that deals with what I went to school for. I would be so sad if I had to put that apron back on and listen to people bitch about how their salmon is undercooked.

Anyways, you get point. I am feeling depressed and very alone right now. The feeling really bites. Maybe I should write more happy entries. But I am not going to right now. I need to keep this journal real. I plan on looking back at this one day.

Okay, Ciao.

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