So I recently learned that the wool has been pulled over my eyes.
I've become friends with my coworker, who I've been working with on the same shift for the past year and a half. In that time, we've gotten to know each other and talk about our lives. I've shared a lot of stuff with him. He helped me move and called me his friend.
I've always asked him about his life and if he is married or has children but his answers always varied. Sometimes he said that it's none of my business, other times he said he had a roommate. I also asked him if he had children and he said that he didn't. He would talk like a single man, telling me about different girls he's talked to or issues he's had with females.
And because I am not attracted to him, I never thought much about it even though in the back of my mind I felt like he was full of shit. We don't have a relationship and he was never tried to be inappropriate with me. So there wasn't much I could do.
I thought that maybe he was a player and had a few girls on the side, but I didn't know that he was actually married until today and married for a long time. He is not only married, but he has 4 children. I also didn't realize that he was older than he said. He said that he was 35-37 when he is probably 40. I found out through a coworker who told me he helped fill out his eldest child's FAFSA. He's also spoken to his wife over the phone. Finally one of my coworkers finally tells me something. I've been kept in the dark the whole time.
I feel deceived. He went through a lot of effort to talk to me and get to know me. It took a lot of talking to me to slowly gain some of my trust. We both grew up in the same town and went to the same schools so we bonded over that. He really went out of his way to act like a nice guy and a gentleman. When we worked together he would really try to get me to open up. It was an effort, and he was into the thrill of the chase.
There was no reason at all for him to conceal the fact that he is married with four children, his oldest being in college. He knew I wasn't into him. I used to ask him all the time if he had a wife or children. He never could acknowlege that. Why ? I would've talked to him at work irregardless. However, if I knew that he was married earlier I wouldn't have been friends outside the workplace. And we only hung out once, when he helped me move. I definitely wouldn't have solicited his help if I knew he was married.
I don't like married men, especially married men that conceal that they are married and put in a lot of effort to get to know me. Especially married men with children. So gross. Especially since he knows how I feel about married men.
At least I am not working with him anymore due to the recent schedule changes.