Monday, September 21, 2009

My Fabulous Five

Good Morning My Ruby Breasted Hummingbirds,

Featured above is my new hairdo I got on Saturday. My stylist hooked me up and gave me bangs. Someone asked me if she also gave me extensions, and no. I don't believe in them.

I hope you had a nice weekend. I did. I got a little sun and a lot of good food. It's a new week and I gots to exercise to attempt to deflate my ass.

But before I do that, I wanted to leave you with my Fabulous Five. Basically my little nectar sucking featherballs, I will tell you five things that come to mind. Could be my opinions or little tidbits about moi.

Here goes.............

1.) I love Law and Order. Especially SVU and Criminal Intent. I love the Law and Order Marathons they have on Sundays.

2.) I live in the SF Bay Area, and many of the drivers suck. There are a lot of people who will ride your ass in traffic. Everyone here is in a hurry, and if you are going at the normal speed on the highway, that is just too slow for many so they ride your ass hoping you will move out of their way. I usually look at them in my rear view mirror and slow down. There is a bumper sticker out there that reads " If you're gonna ride my ass, at least buy me dinner." I have a bumper sticker like that but I've been too chicken to display it.

3.) While we're on the topic of bad drivers, the Prius has come out with a new model. Basically it steers you back on the road if you start to veer off, and it can even park itself. In the commercial it showed the car parallel parking itself in San Francisco. Whatever happened to people learning how to take control of their own cars ? Clearly that is just too much work. Are we that effing stupid that we now have to rely on cars that can almost drive themselves ?

4.) Trojan Condoms has a new commercial out on the radio. Basically they want advertise that they are so pleasurable that you can barely tell it's there. Like he never put it on ! Oh, and not only that but there is a his and hers lubricant.

To illustrate the point, they have a couple ask the cashier about the condom and the cashier goes into how it feels like there is nothing there ! Now that is a conversation I would never be having with a cashier. I don't know why the company thought that would be a good advertisement. Like it's so awesome that you would willingly humiliate yourself at the convenience store and let the other patrons behind you listen ? For all you know, the dirty old homeless guy behind you could be getting his rocks off by listening to you talk about rushing out to get it on.

I also think there is nothing special about the lubricants. How could lubricant differ from a man to a woman ? I think that maybe they give the woman regular lube and then spiked the man's with caffeine or something to make it tingle a little more.

5.) I got a new manicure last week. I always end up messing up my manicures. I don't think that I've ever not scratched the polish on at least one of my nails. I will usually sit and let my nails dry for 20 minutes and it is still usually not good enough.

There you have it my little sugar beaks.

Besitos !


Mike said...

When I was with Dancer she had his and her lubricant. It's just a scam I think to get more money out of you.

dadshouse said...

I love when I buy condoms, and the cashier says "have a nice night!" as an automatic way to say bye. If it's a woman, she usually realizes what she just said, and gets all embarrassed. Haha.

Love the 'do.

Liam said...

You look great in your new hairstyle. I think you would look good even in short hair. So we can forget about the extensions.

I haven't used condoms in a while. Obviously or Kirsten would not have got pregnant. But I have always found that foreplay is the best lubricant of all.

Scarlet said...

Your new hairstyle looks fantastic!and dammit, you made me spill my hot tea when I read about your bumper sticker! Too funny!

Believe it or not, the cashiers in this town comment on EVERYTHING! One time I went to the register with tampons, and the lady behind the counter said, "Ay, m'ija, I should be getting mine any day now, too." I think it's a Latina thing.

PorkStar said...

Very nice hairdo, I so totally love the color of your hair.

Dunno anything about lubricants.. i'm the human version of those.

: )

mac said...

I like to go to the store and buy a 12 pack of condoms and the biggest bottle of Gatoraid they have - nothing else.

I always have a smile for the cashier. Sometimes, if she's young, she'll blush. the older gals just give me that "you're fucking disgusting" look.

Paul Nichols said...

I saw that commercial on TV, too, while watching the Ultimate Fight League.

I posted another Hat(s).