Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Confronting a Married Douche in a Parking Garage

Hello There My Little Snozzleberries,

As you know, I became friends with a coworker only to find out that he was married with four children all along. For some reason he decided to hide that information from me. There was no reason for him to do that, especially since he knew up front I wasn't attracted to him.

It sounds innocent, but I still felt deceived. That is because for a good year, he worked hard to gain my trust. I was very quiet and reserved around him at first, like I normally am with people I don't know. We talked a lot about our lives as there used to be a lot of downtime at work and no one else to talk to.

Yet while I was being honest with him about my life, he was lying about his by leaving out his wife and children. He knows why I have such a hard time trusting people, and he said he sympathized with me and that I am a strong person, blah blah blah.... wank wank wank............

So yeah........... I decided I would have a little chat with him. I was his relief from his shift, so I kindly asked to speak to him before he left. I made him go into the parking garage so no one else would hear how he is a married cocknozzle even though a couple of people did pass through to get to their cars.

I knew that talking to him would do no good, but I did owe it to myself to stand up for myself. I did tell him that I didn't believe anything, and that I thought he was full of shit. And for what it's worth, I do feel a little better for saying something.

Men, when you get caught, even if it is red handed, do the following:

1.) Deny, even if you have to lie ! "No, I don't have children", "I never mentioned my wife because I don't have one"

2.) When the girl tells you she is disappointed in you, and that she thought you were better than that, simply tell her "If you feel disappointed in me, that's on you, I can't do anything about that."

3.) Turn the situation around on her....... and then make up things about her.
"See, that's your problem, you believe things other people say about me. I hear nasty things about you all the time, but I don't believe them."
When she asks you what nasty things are being said, tell her that you won't say because you don't want to hurt her feelings and that you are better than that to stoop down and repeat all the nasty things you've heard about her.

4.) Tell her she is crazy and she was such a nice person until now. "What happened to you ? Why are you acting so crazy? You're normally such a nice person."

5.) When she asks you to prove that you are not married or help her see things differently, tell her that you don't have to prove her anything.

5.) Blame her for wasting your time and holding you up. Tell her that you could be getting a head start on traffic, even if there is no traffic at the time.

Above all, act surprised when she makes such "accusations", and never raise your voice. Act calm and collected, even if she is upset. Remember, you want her to see just how crazy she is really acting. Also, never appologize.

While I confronted him, I did not call him names or get in his face or scream at him. But I did tell him that he is full of shit, I don't believe a word he is saying, and that I am dissapointed in him. In a parking garage for 40 minutes. I do feel better, and I can move on and proceed to avoid him next time he comes in.


Kerrie said...

I am applauding xx If I knew where this guy lived I would be going round there to give him a piece of my mind.

Paul Nichols said...

All that you wrote is correct. Funny, no one has a manual, but everyone knows what to say. By the way, cornered women get really defensive and manipulative, too, except really loud and with tears. Then they get on the phone...

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Good for you!!! Confronting the jerk can be so theraputic.

Stacie's Madness said...

this sounds so familiar to me...

TO lie when you don't need to makes it WORSE. IMHO

dadshouse said...

I had a douchebag friend who was a dad. He'd go to bars with me and play wingman, which was great for me - until he started getting women's phone numbers for himself. He's not a friend of mine anymore.

Liam said...

Hey I could introduce you to a lot of happily married men who are married to whores... sorry best said X-whores

Scarlet said...

How I wish you could've videotaped this! :)

These men try to be so understanding and supportive, creeping their way into your heart until they move from there into your pants...but not with you! No way, Señorita!

Good for you for telling it like it is. You've got more balls than he does...and I applaud you for speaking your mind!

VJ said...

OK so you like wasted 40 some odd minutes of your life back there. They'll never learn, and are generally immune to shaming. A couple of sentences will have to do from now on. 'I know you're a married douchebag with kids!' will often suffice. Believe it. Cheers, 'VJ'

Senorita said...

Hi VJ,

I don't know if you will see this comment or not.........

Anyway, you are 100% correct. All that setting straight I did was a complete waste of time.

I knew that going in, but it still felt good telling him he's full of shit.

I've run into him at work, but don't say anything. Everything I had to say, I got out of my system. It's like he no longer exists in my world.