Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My New York Friends

Hello My Little Puppies !

I still have a lot to write about Ellis Island. I experienced a lot of emotions while I was on the island, and took a lot of pictures. I just need a lot of time to get the pictures together and describe all the feelings.

But, for now I will write about who I went to see.



This is my friend Henry. I stayed with him and his mother. He went out of his way to make sure I enjoyed New York. He drove me around, his mother made me food and bought me cookies from the bakery in the neighborhood, and he was pretty much game for whatever I wanted to do. He was such a gentleman and a gracious host. He filmed the trip, held my coat, and paid for the entrance fees to the places we went to. He also made sure that when we were walking on the street that he was walking on the side facing the street. Sometimes I liked to mess with his head and walk on the side facing the street, but he always insisted on shielding me from the street.




This is Porkstar, who is on my blogroll aka Porky. I met up with him on my last day, and together we defiled the Wallstreet bull, and I may or may not include pictures of the things we did to that poor bull that isn't getting action in this bear market.



This is Henry filming me on the ferry. Notice him carrying my coat. Because of him, I have footage of me doing ridiculous dances in Times Square and in Ellis Island. He also filmed me with the Wallstreet bull. While I was under the bull, you could hear him say "Oh my God" !

Well then my little fluff balls, that is all for now. I need to go straighen my hair so it doens't look like a birds nest.

Besitos !

Love,

Senorita

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My First Evening in New York.

Hello There My Little Minxes,

I have a lot of catching up to do with some blogs, but in the meantime, I have some pictures from my trip. I will write about it in installments. The trip was very short, but I saw a lot just for the full day I was there and I felt a lot of emotions.

This trip was so last minute, and the flight was so cheap. I was just happy to be in New York. I needed a vacation badly. I just needed to get away and take a breather. I hadn't been on a plane in three years.

Anywho, here are some pictures..............









As you can probably guess, those were pics from the plane as we were landing. I was in awe that I got such a good view like that. I did want to mention that I briefly saw the Statue of Liberty. I tried to take a picture, but she disappeared so fast. She was so beautiful. There is nothing like getting a view of her from a plane. I probably didn't get a pic in because I was too busy looking at her it didn't dawn on me to capture it, thus missing my chance.

I was real lucky to not only get a view of New York City like that with little clouds, but also be seated in the window seat like that. I tried to be gracious and let my neighbor get a few peeks in. I didn't want to be such a window hog.

After we landed, I met up with Henry in the Baggage Claim. Lucky for me I didn't have any baggage. I only took a small backpack so we could zip on out of there.

He lives in Little Italy in the Bronx. It is really a melting pot of cultures, the latest group to settle being Albanians.

We went upstairs in his apartment and I met his mother. Very nice lady, and she made me a nice dinner with hot chocolate with milk after. Her food reminded me of the cooking I had from my Spanish roommate's mother in Barcelona. We spoke in Spanish, and it was nice to finally meet her. We had a beef dish with vegetables and beans and sausage over rice.

After dinner, I didn't just want to fall asleep so Henry took me to the Empire State Building. We really lucked out because we found parking pretty much in front of the Empire State Building. A street or two away. It was cold up there and was actually snowing, but turned into rain as it fell onto the street. It was a really nice view, and you could hear the sirens on the street.





After the Empire State Building we went to Times Square.



Times Square, bitches !!!!

They took out one of the streets, patched it up and made it into an area for pedestrians. Sucks for the cab drivers, but great for someone like me who doesn't want to be crowded in Times Square !

And last but not least..............



This is Ground Zero and I caught a glimpse while driving by.

I was told that it is under construction to build new towers called the Freedom Towers. I don't know how I really feel about that, building another building over such a huge memorial site.

So that was my first evening there, since I arrived in New York at 5pm that day.

I will write more later.

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Post in a New York Minute.

Hello There My Big Apples,

As you know I spent my weekend in New York City. I went to stay with my friend Henry and then I met up briefly with Porkstar, one of my blogger friends.

I have to say that I had the best time of my life. Henry let me stay with him and his mother, and his street reminded me of Barcelona down to the smells and the design of the streets. Even the cleaning agents she used and the apartment style were like that in Barcelona.

Henry went out of his way to make sure I had fun. He drove me around the city, brought a camera and filmed the trip, and went out of his way to make sure I had a great time, and I will never forget that.

Some of the things we did:
-Visited Ellis Island
- Saw the Empire State Building
-Took Pictures of the Wall Street Bull
-Went to Times Square
-Ate gelatto in his Italian neighborhood in the Bronx
- Ate a home cooked meal from his Puerto Rican mother ( she was so nice )
- Quickly drove by Ground Zero (It's under construction)

I was only there for two days (one full day) and we had fun. I will have to write more later.

One thing that we did was try and research my great-grandparents in the Ellis Island records. I could not find a trace of them, which broke my heart. I really wanted to see it for myself, but there are so many variations on the spelling of their names that I will just have to keep trying. I am pretty sure they passed through Ellis Island. They were Russian immigrant Jews living in New York. I did get a little teary eyed passing by the Statue of Liberty on the ferry. The same view they had over a hundred years ago. I wondered what went through their minds when they saw the statue.

We took tons of pictures, and I owe Henry and Porkstar some of my pics.

At the end of my stay as mentioned above, I met Porkstar, one of my fellow bloggers. He, Henry and I had dinner at Uno's and talked about his recent trip to Europe.

He is so dirty on his blog, but kinda shy in person.

Anyway, time for me to get ready for work. I am so tired, and the plane rides back kinda sucked, but I need to get paid. So off to work I go.

Besitos !

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Why Is Colonel Angus So Popular With the Ladies ?

Hello There My Little Kittens...........

You didn't think that I would leave you without one last hurrah, now did you ?

Colonel Angus is one popular man. Ladies flock to him, and men want to be him. Why ? I thought that you would never ask..........

Please move your paws over to the mouse, click, and have a listen to find out.

Like I said, I am here to ask all the important questions in life.

Your Welcome.

Love,

Senorita.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Happy Friday !!!!

Good Morning My Little Snozzleberries...........

So I was rereading yesterday's post and it sounded sad. The topic was supposed to be embarrassingly hilarious, like it came out in the other blogs. But, it didn't come out that. Oh well.............

Yesterday I was practicing some more dance moves and I listened to a new song I downloaded. I can't understand any of it because it is in Turkish, but it is so beautiful and sounds like the man is broken hearted and crying through his voice. Sounds like his beloved left him and I think it's better I can't understand the words, so I can feel it more.

Tomorrow I am going to New York ! If I actually catch the plane which leaves at 6am, which means I have to get up at the asscrack of dawn. I am gonna make sure I am packed by tonight.

I will be gone over the weekend, which is really, really short, but I don't get paid vacay until November so I am making the most of this.

This trip was fairly last minute, and I will be visiting my friend Henry, who I met through this blog 4 years ago. He came out and visited me 3 years ago, so he agreed to be a gracious host this time around. He told me to wear sneakers since we will be doing a lot of walking, so I will be prepared.

And if time allows and he feels better, I really hope to meet Porkstar in person. See if he is really as twisted in person as he is on his blog.

Not much time to do a whole lot, but we plan on going to Ellis Island. I've always wanted to visit Ellis Island and see the Statue of Liberty as my great-grandparents did when they came over over a hundred years ago.

As I've mentioned before, they were Russian/Ukrainian Jews and escaped during the pogroms. My grandfather was 92 when he died in 2006, and he was the last of his generation in the family to pass, and I am glad that I got some information out of him before. No one really knew my great-grandparents because they died in the 1930s and 1940s before my grandpa married my grandma and before my dad or aunts and uncles were born. They are a mystery.

They were your typical Jewish immigrant family, and my great grandpa was a tailor and my great grandma helped run a grocery store. They also wrote a lot of poetry, which my aunt still has. I also know that my great grandma wore the pants in that relationship.

Unfortunately, I've missed out on the Jewish side of my family. My grandpa was an atheist and only considered himself a "cultural Jew". He would make sculptures and design torah pointers. He just didn't believe in the religious aspect of it.

I am going to try and locate them through the Ellis Island registry. It's hard to locate them online. Not only do they have their names they were born with and variations on that, but the officers at Ellis Island shortened their names when they arrived in this country, which is how I have my last name.

My last name is very uncommon so anytime I see another on Facebook or listed in the phonebook with the same name it can usually be traced back to our family somehow to my great grandparents or through marriage.

My aunt and my father have a lot of our distant relatives on Facebook. Although my great grandparents came to America, some of their siblings immigrated to Europe.

Here in the US, it is easy for people to lose track of where they came from. I just don't want to be one of those people who has know idea where they're from. A lot of people tell me they are "mutts" and that's all they can say.

Anyway, time for me to clean up this godforsaken room.

Besitos !

Thursday, September 24, 2009

My Horrible Ten

Well Hello There My Little Peacocks and Peahens.................

This should be interesting. I snaked this from Kerrie's blog.

My ten horrible once-in-a-lifetime experiences that I would never want to experience again. Boy does this bring back memories, and not in a way that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Anywhore, here goes............

1.) Being stopped by a cop and written a ticket in front of my date who was waiting for me across the street. While the copper was taking his sweet time writing my fix it ticket, my date started flirting with another girl in front of me.

2.)Getting my little 8 year old arm snapped in half by a 6ft man. We were sparring in our martial arts class. I fell, he tripped over me, and fell on my arm.

3.) Getting molested in San Sebastian, Spain by a man with a mullet a few years ago. He approached me while I was on the phone. He seemed nice at first, so we had iced tea together, but he was starting to be a little rude, and I don't know why I even agreed to have tea with him, so I decided to call it a night and leave. I gave him the standard European kiss to say good bye, and he took the opportunity to grab my right breast and give it a "honk".

4.) Feeling really sick to my stomach in Venice after taking an all nighter train with no sleep just to get there.(We didn't sleep because we were afraid of getting robbed) I drank a cappuccino on an empty stomach, and was forced to deal with it the rest of the afternoon, as well the 8 hour train ride back to Salzburg. Did I mention the weather sucked, the men were rude, and some kid tried to steal our tourist map ?

5.) Experiencing my very first kiss with a smoker.

6.) Living in Spain during the month of August with no air conditioning, the Spainiards are off in other countries, many shops are closed and the streets are filled with tourists.

7.) Going on a date with a passive-aggressive and cheap Scientologist who not only duped me into going to a recruitment event on New Years Eve (until then I didn't know he was a scientologist) at the dingy Ramada(he said he wanted me to meet his colleages at the top of Hilton towers). Did I mention that he was too cheap to hail a cab to the event and made me walk a couple of miles at the very last minute in my nice evening gown ?

8.) Getting cornered by a couple of teens and almost getting spit on in the metro in Barcelona.

9.)Being on my own in a foreign country with no idea of how I would make money or find a place to live.

10.) Getting my wisdom teeth yanked out while being conscious. I had to sit there while they cracked my teeth and yanked each one out.

The funny thing is that I have many more, which are going to the grave with me because they are so mortifyingly embarrassing. The ones above are just the ones I am willing to admit to.

And until now, I've never told anyone about half of the things I wrote here. 1,3,5, and 8 to be specific. I did not want to get laughed at or judged for those things, but now I don't care so much what people think. Especially since I am in a better place in my life than I was back then.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Confronting a Married Douche in a Parking Garage

Hello There My Little Snozzleberries,

As you know, I became friends with a coworker only to find out that he was married with four children all along. For some reason he decided to hide that information from me. There was no reason for him to do that, especially since he knew up front I wasn't attracted to him.

It sounds innocent, but I still felt deceived. That is because for a good year, he worked hard to gain my trust. I was very quiet and reserved around him at first, like I normally am with people I don't know. We talked a lot about our lives as there used to be a lot of downtime at work and no one else to talk to.

Yet while I was being honest with him about my life, he was lying about his by leaving out his wife and children. He knows why I have such a hard time trusting people, and he said he sympathized with me and that I am a strong person, blah blah blah.... wank wank wank............

So yeah........... I decided I would have a little chat with him. I was his relief from his shift, so I kindly asked to speak to him before he left. I made him go into the parking garage so no one else would hear how he is a married cocknozzle even though a couple of people did pass through to get to their cars.

I knew that talking to him would do no good, but I did owe it to myself to stand up for myself. I did tell him that I didn't believe anything, and that I thought he was full of shit. And for what it's worth, I do feel a little better for saying something.

Men, when you get caught, even if it is red handed, do the following:

1.) Deny, even if you have to lie ! "No, I don't have children", "I never mentioned my wife because I don't have one"

2.) When the girl tells you she is disappointed in you, and that she thought you were better than that, simply tell her "If you feel disappointed in me, that's on you, I can't do anything about that."

3.) Turn the situation around on her....... and then make up things about her.
"See, that's your problem, you believe things other people say about me. I hear nasty things about you all the time, but I don't believe them."
When she asks you what nasty things are being said, tell her that you won't say because you don't want to hurt her feelings and that you are better than that to stoop down and repeat all the nasty things you've heard about her.

4.) Tell her she is crazy and she was such a nice person until now. "What happened to you ? Why are you acting so crazy? You're normally such a nice person."

5.) When she asks you to prove that you are not married or help her see things differently, tell her that you don't have to prove her anything.

5.) Blame her for wasting your time and holding you up. Tell her that you could be getting a head start on traffic, even if there is no traffic at the time.

Above all, act surprised when she makes such "accusations", and never raise your voice. Act calm and collected, even if she is upset. Remember, you want her to see just how crazy she is really acting. Also, never appologize.


While I confronted him, I did not call him names or get in his face or scream at him. But I did tell him that he is full of shit, I don't believe a word he is saying, and that I am dissapointed in him. In a parking garage for 40 minutes. I do feel better, and I can move on and proceed to avoid him next time he comes in.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Not all caulks are made equally..............



Hello There My Little Baby Foxes,

As you know, I like to educate my readers about a variety of topics. Last week I covered nature and talked about birds. I didn't realize that all of you are so receptive to learning. It just warms the cockles of my heart.

Oh, and speaking of cockles, today I would like to talk about something that may be useful to you homeowners out there. Yes, I would like to talk about caulk.

You see my little helpless furballs, I wouldn't ever want to hear about you being stuck with insects crawling through small cracks in your house, or that you have mildew problems in your tub.

When you have such problems, the answer is in the caulk ! Especially since it's so cheap and easy to use. You could find caulk just about anywhere. Ask my friend Ashleigh for example, as she works at Home Depot.

Anyway, all this information can be so overwhelming at first. And I understand. So I've narrowed it down to a few memorable points................

1.) Caulk can be used to seal cracks and plug holes. So just stick your tube in the crack and fill it with caulk. But don't just fill it up. What you want to do is apply smooth little beads and then smooth them out with your fingers.

2.) Not all caulks are created equally. Not only do they have different purposes, but they come in different colors as well. Like if your bathroom tiles are black, you'd be asking the sales person to help you locate some black caulk. Or if your salesperson isn't helpful, you could always knock on your neighbor's door.

3.) Dear readers because there are many different types of caulk out there for different purposes, I thought I would narrow it down to a few just to throw some names out there: Painter's caulk, acrylic latex and 100% silicone. Just look at the package closely to determine if you picked out the right caulk for the job or not.

4.) Applying caulk can be messy, especially for the inexperienced. It may be easier to use a caulking gun. However, I understand if you are in a rush and just want to get it over with. Anyway, as I was saying, it can get messy. Like if you are straigtening out a bead, you may get some excess caulk on your fingers. Because caulk is so sticky, you can't just wipe it off your fingers. A dirty film may appear on your fingers and smear on things you touch. Also, while you are working on your project, be sure to keep your fingers away from your face, as you wouldn't want to end up getting caulk in your mouth.

5.) I don't really know what to recommend to you, as we all have different needs. But I can say that I would probably go for the Power Grab in the blue tubing on the left.

6.) I would recommend that you buy a large tube of caulk. I think that the caulks featured are about probably about 12 inches long and hold 14 ounces. But if you're broke and can't afford a sizeable amount, that's okay too. Lucky for me, I have small hands, so when I hold the tube, it will seem bigger. Thus, creating the illusion that I have enough to last for the entire project.




P.S: You wouldn't believe how easy it was to write this. It just all flowed out so easy (pun not intended). If you don't believe me, you should read the little tutorial on the Lowes website. I couldn't believe how suggestive it was. I also thought it was interesting that a woman was narrating the video tutorial on how to properly apply caulk. I guess it would be bad for sales if men had to listen to other dudes say "caulk" a million times.



By the way, I am married..............

So I recently learned that the wool has been pulled over my eyes.

I've become friends with my coworker, who I've been working with on the same shift for the past year and a half. In that time, we've gotten to know each other and talk about our lives. I've shared a lot of stuff with him. He helped me move and called me his friend.

I've always asked him about his life and if he is married or has children but his answers always varied. Sometimes he said that it's none of my business, other times he said he had a roommate. I also asked him if he had children and he said that he didn't. He would talk like a single man, telling me about different girls he's talked to or issues he's had with females.

And because I am not attracted to him, I never thought much about it even though in the back of my mind I felt like he was full of shit. We don't have a relationship and he was never tried to be inappropriate with me. So there wasn't much I could do.

I thought that maybe he was a player and had a few girls on the side, but I didn't know that he was actually married until today and married for a long time. He is not only married, but he has 4 children. I also didn't realize that he was older than he said. He said that he was 35-37 when he is probably 40. I found out through a coworker who told me he helped fill out his eldest child's FAFSA. He's also spoken to his wife over the phone. Finally one of my coworkers finally tells me something. I've been kept in the dark the whole time.

I feel deceived. He went through a lot of effort to talk to me and get to know me. It took a lot of talking to me to slowly gain some of my trust. We both grew up in the same town and went to the same schools so we bonded over that. He really went out of his way to act like a nice guy and a gentleman. When we worked together he would really try to get me to open up. It was an effort, and he was into the thrill of the chase.

There was no reason at all for him to conceal the fact that he is married with four children, his oldest being in college. He knew I wasn't into him. I used to ask him all the time if he had a wife or children. He never could acknowlege that. Why ? I would've talked to him at work irregardless. However, if I knew that he was married earlier I wouldn't have been friends outside the workplace. And we only hung out once, when he helped me move. I definitely wouldn't have solicited his help if I knew he was married.

I don't like married men, especially married men that conceal that they are married and put in a lot of effort to get to know me. Especially married men with children. So gross. Especially since he knows how I feel about married men.

At least I am not working with him anymore due to the recent schedule changes.

Monday, September 21, 2009

My Fabulous Five




Good Morning My Ruby Breasted Hummingbirds,


Featured above is my new hairdo I got on Saturday. My stylist hooked me up and gave me bangs. Someone asked me if she also gave me extensions, and no. I don't believe in them.


I hope you had a nice weekend. I did. I got a little sun and a lot of good food. It's a new week and I gots to exercise to attempt to deflate my ass.

But before I do that, I wanted to leave you with my Fabulous Five. Basically my little nectar sucking featherballs, I will tell you five things that come to mind. Could be my opinions or little tidbits about moi.

Here goes.............

1.) I love Law and Order. Especially SVU and Criminal Intent. I love the Law and Order Marathons they have on Sundays.

2.) I live in the SF Bay Area, and many of the drivers suck. There are a lot of people who will ride your ass in traffic. Everyone here is in a hurry, and if you are going at the normal speed on the highway, that is just too slow for many so they ride your ass hoping you will move out of their way. I usually look at them in my rear view mirror and slow down. There is a bumper sticker out there that reads " If you're gonna ride my ass, at least buy me dinner." I have a bumper sticker like that but I've been too chicken to display it.

3.) While we're on the topic of bad drivers, the Prius has come out with a new model. Basically it steers you back on the road if you start to veer off, and it can even park itself. In the commercial it showed the car parallel parking itself in San Francisco. Whatever happened to people learning how to take control of their own cars ? Clearly that is just too much work. Are we that effing stupid that we now have to rely on cars that can almost drive themselves ?

4.) Trojan Condoms has a new commercial out on the radio. Basically they want advertise that they are so pleasurable that you can barely tell it's there. Like he never put it on ! Oh, and not only that but there is a his and hers lubricant.

To illustrate the point, they have a couple ask the cashier about the condom and the cashier goes into how it feels like there is nothing there ! Now that is a conversation I would never be having with a cashier. I don't know why the company thought that would be a good advertisement. Like it's so awesome that you would willingly humiliate yourself at the convenience store and let the other patrons behind you listen ? For all you know, the dirty old homeless guy behind you could be getting his rocks off by listening to you talk about rushing out to get it on.

I also think there is nothing special about the lubricants. How could lubricant differ from a man to a woman ? I think that maybe they give the woman regular lube and then spiked the man's with caffeine or something to make it tingle a little more.

5.) I got a new manicure last week. I always end up messing up my manicures. I don't think that I've ever not scratched the polish on at least one of my nails. I will usually sit and let my nails dry for 20 minutes and it is still usually not good enough.

There you have it my little sugar beaks.

Besitos !

Sunday, September 20, 2009

A Little Austria in a Korean Restaurant

Hello There My Little Woodpeckers,

Today was a nice day because my cousin from Austria came out to visit with his girlfriend.

My mom took us all out to have Korean food, and it was very delish !

We were sitting there in a Korean restaurant speaking German with bad Korean soap operas in the background. We caught up and amazingly I was able to keep up in German even though it has been awhile since I've spoken any. My cousin also brought us gifts ! I got some Austrian chocolates.

My cousin and his girlfriend are attorneys in Austria and it was interesting to hear the differences between the legal system here and in Austria.

They will be here for a couple of weeks to go to Hollywood and try to get into the Jay Leno show as well as go to Vegas. I hope we can see them before they leave.

I'm glad they are here, and I miss my aunt and other cousins. I hope that I can go over and visit sometime next year.

Ten Years Later

Hello My Little Calling Birds,

So I just had my ten year high school reunion. I got my hair done, my nails painted and I went with my friend from high school. My hair looks pretty good. I love my stylist. She hooked me up and I refuse to go anywhere else. She's always happy and has a positive outlook on life.

We have a little tradition when I stop by. I am always vulgar at the salon, and loud enough for the other patrons to hear me and there are a lot of Christians. (So am I, but Jesus would want me to say dirty things). She told me that a couple of ladies complained about me a couple of years back and told her how vulgar I was. Apparently I used the word "cocktease" in a sentence. She simply told them to talk to me the next time I came in. (If they could figure out when that would be). So since she doesn't have a problem and is entertained with my antics, I have fun with the experience. While she was in front of me styling my hair today, I put my hands in front of her chest and made a squeezing motion. Of course I'm not really gonna touch her, but it was hilarious that the middle aged man getting his hair washed across from me saw it and got wierded out. Since she is Asian I also asked her for the happy ending while she was massaging my scalp and told her to go a little more to the left. She then pulled me by my wet hair to seat me in the chair to cut my hair. Fun times my feathery friends, fun times............... And as a result I have hawt bedroom hair.......

When my friend and I arrived to our reunion, not many people showed up. Of about a hundred or so students less about twenty made it. Most probably didn't know, as it's hard to track everyone down. We were notified of the reunion by Facebook, and I don't have Facebook so I didn't know. I only knew because my friend who does have an account told me.

Anyway, I reunited with the group I was friends with in my senior year. We got together and caught up. They were my first real friends.

Growing up, I moved so often, and also I was always the misfit and teased in middle school and high school until my junior year. It was awful. I had no fashion sense (no one taught me any better), I spoke with a lisp (I fixed that), was pigeon toed (I still am) and kids were mean. I was a misfit until my junior year when I went to prom and wore makeup and a tight dress. Then people were nicer.

Unfortunately, just as I was settling in and getting comfortable in the high school I was attending for three years, my parents yanked me out at the beginning of my senior year and put me in a new school, a private Christian school to finish my last year of high school. We also moved.

It was there at my new high school that a group of girls invited me to lunch, and they really had to work at it as I was a loner, but I eventually gave in and joined them. The popular girls were also real sweet, but I didn't know if I was their project, and if they were being sincere. So I didn't sit with them and hung out with the girls who were less popular instead. We are still friends and I still hang out with Shira regularly.

It was nice to see our old group. I also saw my old history teacher who was invited because he felt he had a special bond to our class. A really nice man.

I didn't really talk to many other old classmates, as it was hard to recognize most of them. Besides, I never really talked to any of them in high school anyway. Many brought their spouses so sometimes I couldn't tell who was an alum or who was the spouse. I pretty much stuck to my old group and talked to one or two other people.

Our reunion was at a Bocce Ball hall, so we played a little bocce ball. My friend and I played with another girl and her husband. While we were playing, I was making sexual references to the balls, and she said she didn't know I was so twisted, that I was so quiet in high school and didn't really say much. I guess maybe I have come out of my shell after all. I told her I have blossomed.

It was nice to see what happened to my classmates after ten years. Many got married and seem like happy individuals. I heard through the grapevine that one of our old mates just got accepted into medical school, and another just had a baby.

I was glad that I went, as I was living in Barcelona during our five year reunion in 2004.

As for my life, I got to reflect a little today at the reunion. I feel that I've done a lot, but I feel like the most exciting years are still ahead of me. I just completed my education, I am not married, not in a serious relationship, I don't own property, I don't have any serious responsibilities and haven't settled into my career yet. Anything could happen at this point. I feel like I am in limbo, but I kind of like this for now. It's not a bad place to be.

Who knows how it will all play out, as my life changes so fast. I literally can't determine what will happen more than two weeks in advance.

But I am interested to see how things will play out.

Friday, September 18, 2009

A nice pair of boobies





Hello My Little Snuggle Bears,

In my last post I talked about a specie of birds called tits. Who knew that many of my male readers would take such an interest in birds ? One of my readers even thanked me for sharing. You're welcome............

And because of their heightened interest, I thought that I would introduce another specie of bird called the booby. I think they are native to the Galapagos Islands.

Above is a picture of a nice pair of boobies. I think my male readers will be pleased with boobies because they are large birds.

Just promise me that the next time you see a pair of boobies perched somewhere and staring at you, don't go and try to put your face close to them or try to kiss them. They will probably lunge at you with those huge beaks and tear your face off.

I'm only telling you this because I am looking out for your safety.

You're Welcome.

Love,

Senorita

Great Tits




Good Morning My Little Snozzleberries,

The picture featured is a pair of great tits. That is the name of the bird. The Great Tit. But there are a lot of other tits nesting in trees: Black throated tits, blue tits, long tail tits, and even bearded tits. If you could be any kind of tit would you be bearded ?

Aren't they cute ? Would any of you like to go tit watching with me ? Sit outside and watch them with binoculars ? I know my friend Porkstar likes to watch tits in their natural habitat. In fact, he just went to Europe and did some tit watching on the streets. Sometimes he tries to get close to them, but he always scares the tits away.

I wonder who came up with this name for a bird. I bet it was a man who had a passion for women and birds.

Okay, time for me to brush my teeth. What would you all do without me here to ask the important questions in life ?

Besitos !

Thursday, September 17, 2009

My Fantabulous Five !

Hello There Kittens,

Did I tell you that I love all my readers ? Cuz I do ! Group hug !

Today I am gonna just ramble. I will tell you my five things that come to mind. My realizations or my ponderings, or being disgusting. Whatever comes to mind.

Here goes kitties..........

1.) I bought some new work shoes yesterday from Payless. While I was paying with my debit card, I saw on the screen that you could pay for your shoes with food stamps. What the HELL ? I thought that food stamps were for FOOD.

Why bother going to work anymore when the government can just pay me not to work? While we are on this note, I remember my nutrition teacher in college telling me about when she volunteered at a food bank. People would come in and pick and choose their food. They would take the packaged processed food and leave the healthy stuff behind. They would just pick and chose.

I will gladly help people that need it and give them the last of what I have, but that's if they need it. If not, they can work for it like everyone else.

2.) You all know I used to work for Enterprise Rent a car aka ERAC, but sometimes I like to say ECRAP or EFUCK. I used to have customers come in with awful names. We once had this fat Vietnamese guy come in named Phat Ho. (Pronounced Fat Hoe) He was shaped like Buddha and he didn't really speak English.

To make a long story short, we had problems renting him a car because he didn't have a credit card. We had to have him put down a lot of money in a deposit and call people he knows to verify his identity. So my manager was on the phone in front of all the other customers waiting for their car. He kept saying "I am calling from Enterprise, do you know Mr. Phat Ho ? Basically saying his name over and over while this man was standing there looking like a mad Buddha. My boss dragged me in the back as fast as she could because I was about to burst in laughter.

Later we got an angry message from him via the complaint hotline. He was not a happy fat whore. So we had to write him an apology letter which started as Dear Mr. Phat Ho......

Before you climb all over me and berate me about my horrible customer service, please know that 1.) I didn't deal with him, management did and 2.) I was just a casual observer. A very entertained one.

3.) While we are on this note, we had this rather large woman with a bad eighties perm rent a car with us. When I asked her last name she looked at us and just said "Hooker". I was the one helping her and you should all know that I kept a straight face.

4.)As you all know I am a security bitch until I can find a legal job. We are all bitches some way or another, and my bitch duties require me to wear a gawdawful uniform that hides my assets and accentuates my flaws. What is interesting is that people higher on the totem pole are usually respectful to us, and the people that aren't are usually the ones who are lower on the totem pole. I will be sitting at a desk, smile and say hello, and some people will look straight at my face, make eye contact and walk away. Hello, it's obvious I am not selling anything !

Yet people think it's okay to ignore me because of my job title. What's interesting is that I have as much education if not more than the people that ignore me.

Oh, I also thoroughly enjoy the power trip my supervisor is on right now as he orders me around and refuses to help if I need it. He does not really value my opinion and he doesn't have confidence in me, despite that I have been working there for a few years.

What helps me not get upset is that I know that security is not my last job option and that I can advance and go further. I don't have to deal with that for long and am qualified for better.

5.)And last but not least, let's talk about dating........... Yes kittens I am single and bilingual. Don't you hate it when you go out and you are a little shy and reserved and the guy you are out with tells you to relax and just be yourself? I am being myself, bitch ! Myself gets nervous and little reserved the first night out because I am trying to be observant, listen to what you have to say, maybe compliment you and tell you how awesome you are, determine that you're not Hannibal Lector all while being polite and trying to have a good time. Just give a woman a break, shut up and enjoy all this makeup and hair I have made up for your viewing pleasure.

Okay, time to go and brush my teeth.

Besitos !

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The skinny

Good Morning to you all my little secret squirrels,

I don't have a survey, a "manslation" for you or some disgusting video of some guy rapping about how his dick is like lightning.

However, I can tell you that I have my 10 year high school reunion this weekend. I am going to the stylist to get some sexy bedroom hair that morning. RAWR. I will be going to the reunion with my friend Shira, as we went to high school and college together.

I know one girl in our class represented California in the Miss USA pageant. I watched her on TV when that aired. I heard another dude became a doctor. I am interested to see what became of everyone else. I heard a lot of our old mates got divorced. I barely remember anyone since I only finished my senior year there. I went to high school somewhere else for the prior three years.

I can't believe that ten years ago I was also moving out of the nest for good and into the dorms at San Jose State University. I ended up being there for five years. I remember my first roommate ever. She ended up getting pregnant and moving out within a short period of time. So I ended up having the room to myself the rest of the semester.

Also, on Sunday my cousin from Austria is coming to visit with his girlfriend. He recently finished law school and practices law in Austria. He's so lucky he doesn't have to take the Bar. My aunt is a judge and thinks that I graduated from law school. I had to try and explain to her the role of a paralegal here in the states and that I am not an attorney.

I wonder what we will end up doing. I know he wants to eat Asian food, and he has definitely come to the right area for that. Because I ate at the Chinese restaurant in Salzburg, and it was not the bees knees. I am excited to see him and meet his girlfriend. They are here in the states for a month and plan to also go to Hollywood and Vegas among other places. They are so lucky that the dollar is crap right now.

Anywho, time for me to go do some shopping........

Besitos !

Monday, September 14, 2009

Rude, Crude, and Obnoxious Part II (Not safe for little kids or overprotective grandmas)



Hello There My Little French Hens,


So why did the penis cross the road ? Click and have a listen to find out.

And remember, next time you feel like being violent, don't fight people, have sex with them !

My poor friend Ashleigh, she's had to deal with me quoting parts of this song. A couple of weeks ago I met up with her in a restaurant. I went up to her table in plain view of the other tables, and quoted a couple of lines while rocking back and forth. Yet she still loves me. And for that I am forever grateful.

Okay, that is all for now.

Besitos !

P.S: And yes Paul Nichols, I frequently do lie awake at night and come up with stuff to post for your sick and twisted entertainment. And it is my pleasure. You're welcome and have a nice day :)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Survey whore comeback...........

Hi Kittens,

Today I went back to the dance festival to watch the other dancers as I wasn't able to do it yesterday. I enjoyed the dancers, especially since I saw one of my first teachers on stage.

I also made a couple of purchases. I bought some gloves to dance with. I've been looking for long gloves to dance with for a while know with out the finger covers. I finally found them in black and in red. I absolutely love gloves, and I wore gloves on my graduation when I graduated with my bachelors. I also love a nice pair of gloves with an evening gown.

I also bought a traditional Moroccan caftan. It's basically a loose outer garment worn in the Middle East. But belly dancers wear it to cover their costumes before dancing on stage. It is considered bad form for a belly dancer to walk around in her costume if she isn't dancing. All this time, I've just kept covered with a veil, like a pig in a blanket. Now I can walk around in style.

And before I log off, I should let you all know that I used to be quite the survey whore. If you look back in my archives, around last year, I did a lot of surveys. Well, survey whore is back !! Feel free to snake this survey, like I did, and whore around on your blog as well.

My answers are in caps.


Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?:: YES, AND SOMETIMES IT WORKS
What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?:: BECAUSE MY PARENTS AND ASHLEIGH READ THIS, I AM NOT CONFESSING HERE
Ever been in a car wreck?:: YES
Were you popular in high school?:: HAHAHA, NOT AT ALL
Have you ever been on a blind date?:: YES
Are looks important?:: TO AN EXTENT
Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more??:: YES, AFTER THIS YEAR, I DO !
By what age would you like to be married?:: AFTER THIRTY, AND WE SHALL SEE WHAT LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR ME
Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?:: TO AN EXENT
Have you ever made a mistake?:: HAVEN'T WE ALL
Are you a good tipper?:: YES, I WAS A WAITRESS IN COLLEGE. DEALING WITH PEOPLE AND THEIR FOOD IS DEFINITELY NOT MY CALLING.
What's the most you have spent for a haircut?:: $70 AND WORTH EVERY DOLLAR. I GOT SEXY BEDROOM HAIR
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?:: OH YEAH, OUR ECON TEACHER WAS HALF SPANISH AND HALF ARABIC
Have you ever peed in public?:: IN A PUBLIC TOILET, YES.... FOR EVERYONE TO SEE? NO
What song do you want played at your funeral?:: WHY WOULD I CARE? I WOULDN'T EVEN BE THERE
Would you tell your parents if you were gay?:: YES, BUT THEY KNOW ME LIKEY THE BOYS
What would your last meal be before getting executed?:: DUNNO, BUT SOMETIMES I EAT LIKE IM GETTING EXECUTED THE NEXT DAY
Beatles or Stones?:: BEATLES
If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?:: THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS QUESTION
Beer, wine or hard liquor?:: I'M NOT REALLY A FAN OF ALCOHOL
Do you have any phobias?:: YES, AND YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW ABOUT THEM
What are your plans for the future?:: HELL IF I KNOW, MY FUTURE IS SO UNPREDICTABLE AND I CAN'T EVEN PREDICT THE FOLLOWING WEEK
Do you walk around the house naked?:: OH NO WAY......
If you were an animal what would you be?:: A BIRD, I WOULD LOVE TO FLY AND SHIT ON THE HEADS OF PEOPLE AND HEAR THEM SAY IT'S GOOD LUCK
Hair color you like on someone you're dating?:: DARK
Would you rather be blind or deaf?:: WOULD YOU RATHER BE STUPID OR SLOW ?
Do you have any special talents?:: I CAN WIELD A SWORD AND MAKE IT LOOK SEXY
What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?:: TALK TO MY ROOMMATES
Do you like horror or comedy?:: COMEDY
Are you missing anyone?:: NEGATIVO
If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do?:: WELL I AM STRAIGHT SO I WOULD DO A MAN
Where do you want to live when you are old?:: WITH MY OLD HUSBAND, NOT BEING TAKEN CARE OF IN A NURSING HOME
Who is the person you can count on the most?:: MY FAMILY
If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?:: ANTONIO SABATO JR. WELL, ACTUALLY I WOULDN'T WANT TO PUT UP WITH HIM, BUT I SURE WOULDN'T MIND GETTING PHYSICAL WITH HIM
What did you dream last night?:: I DON'T REMEMBER
What is your favorite sport to watch?:: ICE SKATING
Are you named after anyone?:: NOT ANYONE I KNOW
What is your favorite alcoholic drink?:: BAILEYS OVER ICE
Non alcoholic drink?:: CINNAMON DOLCE LATTE FROM STARBUCKS
Have you ever been in love?:: NO
Do you sing in the shower?:: NOT WHERE I LIVE
Have you ever been arrested?:: NO, AND I HOPE THAT NEVER HAPPENS
What is your favorite Holiday?:: THANKSGIVING
Would you ever get plastic surgery?:: ASK ME THAT WHEN MY I AM OLD AND MY TITS ARE IN MY SHOES
Have you ever caught a fish?:: YES, BY HAND IN A LAKE IN AUSTRIA WHEN I WAS A CHILD

Desert Dance Festival 2009






Hello My Little Turtle Doves,

Yesterday I performed at the Desert Dance Festival in my area. I danced with our troupe, and then little bit after I danced my solo with the sword.

Unfortunately I didn't get to watch the other dancers much as we were too busy trying to prep for our performances. I was nervous as hell before. During our troupe dance my dance shoelaces were coming undone but I managed to not let it bother me. I remember a few years ago while I danced with double veils, I got tangled in a bunch of balloons.

I had a lot of fun with my sword dance. I practiced a lot, and worked a lot on my back bends. I was happy that my friends came out to see me. We went out to dinner after.

So I am tired, and I need to wash all this glitter and painted-up-whore-makeup off me.

Besitos !

Friday, September 11, 2009

Pedophile Beards



Hi Kittens,

As you know, I love Jon Lajoie. My twisted friend Sylvan who watches his porn on his iphone, introduced him to me. I've been a fan ever since (of Jon Lajoie, not porn on the iphone you pervos). It was he who told me Jon Lajoie was performing two blocks away from me.

So Sylvan and I went and saw this dude live in February. I was sick as a dog, just took an exam I tanked, and in the middle of having to decide where to live after my roommate got laid off. It was a nice little ray of sunshine during a stressful time.

I've watched almost all of his videos, and just in awe of all the filth that comes out of his mouth at once, yet oddly inspired.

Anywhore, here is another video I thought was hilarious. Please my little furballs, move your paw over to the mouse, click, and have a listen...........

P.S: My dad has had a wierd collection of hats over the years. My brother and I recently saw him and dubbed his latest hat as the "There's gotta be something wrong with that guy, hat."

9/11

Good Morning Loves,

I noticed that I have a couple of new readers that are following me now. Thank you and welcome to my blog !

Today is the 8th anniversary of September 11th. I still remember that day and what I was doing when the towers were hit . I was in college at the time living in the dorms. My roommate's boyfriend called and told us to turn on the TV.

At first I didn't know what was going on. I thought they were reporting on the incident that happened at the World Trade Center in 1993.

Class was cancelled that day on campus, and we just spent the entire day glued to the TV.

I had never felt such sadness over anything that was reported in the news before. I continued to be glued to the tv for the next couple of days as the airports were shut down.

For a while after that day, I felt like our country came together for a brief period of time as Americans. People were proud to be American again and hung the American flag. People would proudly stand with their hands over their hearts with their heads bowed and cry during the national anthem when there was a game. I miss that sense of unity.

Now we're back to fighting and slinging mud at each other. Especially in politics. While we all have to vote for one party over the other, I am not a fan of different parties, especially since my views fall in between, and I don't feel like any candidate fully represents what I believe in. Also when there is a bad president in office, it shames that party for a long time.

I may have European roots and tendencies, and I may want to travel and live in different countries, but I am American as apple pie ! I lived in Barcelona from 2004-2005, and came to that realization abroad.

While I was in Barcelona, I did not wear the Canadian flag, which is such bullshit and a cop out anyway. I would introduce myself and say that I was American, and from California. People in Barcelona love California by the way, especially when I told them I lived an hour away from San Francisco. Not once did anyone ridicule me for being American, and that was because I spoke in Spanish and made an effort to get to know them and their culture. Of course the elections were going on at the time, and everyone and their mother wanted to know who I was going to vote for. Bush or Kerry was the magical question of the day every day. I told them I didn't like either and left it at that. Besides, I was too late to register to vote with the US embassy so I ended up not having to decide after all. Once in a while I would get a speech on Dubya and his policies, but they were just venting and not pointing a finger at me. By the way, I think it's hilarious that the Spaniards of all people think that they are in a position to label us as conquerers and blame us for trying to take over the world and put our noses in others' business. I'm not saying we don't do that. However, look who's pointing the finger. There is a reason many countries speak Spanish as a native language. Oh, and we weren't alone when the Natives were mistreated.

While I lived abroad, I got to meet a lot of people, especially immigrants trying to get papers in Spain. The South Americans I worked with laughed at me for trying to live in Spain. "We want to go to The United States, what the fuck are you here in Spain for, the arm pit of Europe ? We would do anything to live in the states, you are so lucky. " Many South Americans are getting EU passports to make it easier to live in the US. Many people from Argentina can easily get EU papers because their grandparents are from Europe. Some of the nicest people I met there were from South America.

The Dominican family I taught English to told me that they had to come to Spain because the United States wouldn't accept them. They told us our laws are too strict. I also saw Cubans. Now you know if we are 90 miles away and they are coming to Spain, instead of the US, that immigration laws have gotten tougher.

Anyway, for those of you that are American, be proud of it. And if you aren't, kiss an American today, lol.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Weird

Hi Kittens,

So I just had a dream that I parked my car in a lot to watch an awful bellydancer. By the time I get out, I can't find my car. I keep looking for it, and it's nowhere to be found.

Eventually I find out that these guys working with heavy machinery on the building have their stuff in front of my car and won't move it for me to get out.

I beg and plead but the men keep taunting me, and one gives me a phone to call somebody because I am not getting my car out anytime soon. Him and his buddy get in my face too.

For the record, I called Ashleigh, lol.

Then I woke up.

I guess this is what I see in my head after watching Operation Repo late at night. Basically it's a reality show where people repo cars for a living and you get to catch peoples' reactions. The only problem with the show is that it is not even a reality show, but a "reenactment" of events using actors. So disappointed. But it makes sense. I mean, who on earth would consent to showing their face when getting their car repoed ? Also, the way the "actors" do a lot of things that are illegal if they were actually repossessing a car.

Anywho, I shared this little piece of info with you because you are my lovelies, and there are no secrets between us.

Now I must go and get my teeth cleaned !

Besitos ! Muah !

Love,

Senorita

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I want to be your sincere friend with benefits....

Hola Fur balls,

I've been perusing the Craigslist ads again for entertainment. So many men are underlaid up there. There are so many ads out there where these men have something in common: They want someone to come out and play with their ding dongs. So these guys attempt to word their pleas differently in order to stand out.

One way is to ask for a friend with benefits, but say that he is sincere. So he wants a deep connection and sex with a woman, but he doens't want to put in the work and take her out and get to know her. He wants the relationship without the baggage, without the struggles.

Here you go my little loves, my "manslation" in bold...................


Title: "FWB" but more substantial and sincere than that Babe, I sincerely want to bang you with my substance.

Yes, what I'm essentially looking for is a friends with benefits relationship. But I'm looking for a connection in the purest sense. In the Biblical sense, baby. I wanna be like Moses and part your sea. I don't have the energy to immerse myself in the dating scene. I refuse to put any effort in a woman and when we go out, I will insist that we go Dutch. I'm also not the type of guy who'd walk into a bar and hit on every living, breathing thing. That's because I would have to buy them drinks first, and I don't want to spend the money. I find that obnoxious That's because even if I did step out of character and buy a drink, I still wouldn't get laid. So add all these factors, and you might understand why I chose to resort to craigslist. Because obviously Craigslist is the answer to your problems, lol.

I want the physical aspect but without the emotional baggage. I want to plow that field, but I don't want to go out there, and work for it. However, this doesn't mean I want to meet lifeless ragdoll that I can use and discard Using blowup dolls is getting kinda boring. I honestly want to meet someone who is more or less on the same page as I am. I want it to be mutual, fun, and uncumbered by anything. It won't be a cold, joyless act. Well not for me anyway, I will be too busy focusing on me, I will forget to ask you how you feel. Also, whenever you feel like it's not working out, feel free to tell me and I'll respectfully go about my own way. Sweet cheeks, I am only saying this, I will call you up and let you go after I feel things are getting a little close, and I will expect you to go away quietly. I can't stress enough that it won't turn out to be a big mistake. I can't stress enough that I am starting to sound desperate. If it doesn't pan out, we can leave and act as if nothing had happened. Because I obviously know how women think and operate.

I've put on my optimist/idealist cap and hope to find a lover who is searching for what I'm searching for. Actually, it's not my cap that is optimistic, it's my penis. Please send me a reply and we can talk. Like I said, you're never obliged to anything, and I won't ever force your hand because my hand has been forced enough every night. Let's work something out together as I am tired of working one out alone. I look forward to your message.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Blah Blah Blah...................

Hi Kitties,

This past weekend was the first full weekend I've had off in about two years. It was weird to wake up and not have to work on a Saturday. I used the afternoon on Saturday to practice our troupe routine for our dance performance. The troupe leader keeps changing the moves on us at the last minute, and I swear to God I have no idea how we are going to come together and make it work. But either way, I have my own performance after, so if I suck, I can make it up with my solo. Let's just hope the solo goes well.

On Saturday one of my friends came back from Russia and I went to her house to see pictures of her trip. She brought me back Russian chocolate, candies as well as other souvenirs. She knows that I am part Russian. But I wasn't really taught about my Russian side, as my Russian-Jewish immigrant great grandparents died a very long time ago. Plus, my grandfather wasn't in my life that much. We have a rich history. They were Jewish, and came over to Ellis Island during the pogroms, and I really feel that I missed out on learning about them. If the man of my dreams were Jewish I would definitely convert. I will try to visit Ellis Island soon. My friend also offered to let me come along with her and her family to Russia. Who knows what the future holds, but I hope a trip to Russia is part of it.

I also went to the Greek Festival with my friend from high school over the Labor Day weekend. It was a lot of fun. I bought a new red bellydance hip scarf. It can be worn as a hip scarf. Or sometimes old ladies like to drape it over their shoulders like a shawl.

My friend and I watched the dancing, looked at other overpriced stuff and ate Greek food. We ate Gyros, Loukamade (fried donut holes dipped in honey) all followed up by Greek coffee.

The dancers were interesting. Two teen boys dancing and picking up tables with their teeth. It wasn't really my style, but I give them props for doing that. My cousin married a Greek man, and at their wedding the groomsmen were all jumping in the air and doing kicks. I was hoping to see something like that.

Anyway my little furballs, I need to get ready to practice my dance moves.

Bussi !

P.S: It means " a kiss" in German you sick pervs, get your head out of the gutter. Especially you Porky !

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Rude, Crude and Obnoxious........... (You've been warned)




Knock Knock ! Who's there ?

It's me ! Wondering why you're not naked !

Knock Knock ! It's me again !

STILL wondering why you're not naked...................



Hi Kitties !

The little gem I quoted from above is not a quote of mine, it belongs to my favorite internet comedian, Jon Lajoie. I saw him in person in February with my friend who introduced him to me. I was sick as a dog and under the influence of Nyquil but made it out. He was funny, and at the end of the show, he came out in that awful getup shown above and sang "Show Me Your Genitals". I was screaming like a little school girl.

I can also do the dance he is doing........

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Holiday Weekend

Hi Little Loves................

Happy Labor Day weekend. I have Saturday and Sunday (today and tomorrow) off. It's been at least 2 years since that has happened. I got this off at the last minute due to our massive changes at my job. Four people got let go, and I was lucky to stay.

I will be working the morning on Labor Day. I will be waking up at the buttcrack of dawn to try and catch the train to my job.

I think I am going to hang out with some friends this weekend. One of my friends just got back from Russia so I would like to hear about her trip and see if she brought me back any souvies. Last time she gave me some Russian chocolate.

I practiced our dance routines for a couple of hours. I am dancing next Saturday at a bellydance festival. So if you kittens are in my area, don't hesitate to come on down and support me while I do the shimmy.

I will be dancing twice. Once with a troupe and once all by myself. The troupe changed the moves while I was away last weekend and now I have to start over and we only have a week left.

But I've been practicing my solo routine. I always get nervous for those.

I got a new bellydance skirt which I am happy about. I forgot how much more graceful I feel when wearing a skirt.

I usually wear pants when I dance because I usually dance with a sword on the floor. When I dance on the floor with a sword on my head two things can happen:

1.) People can accidentally get a money shot when you move your legs around. Accidental or not, it is especially vulgar in bellydance.
2.) You can get your skirt bunched up under you, causing you to lose balance. When that happens, the sword falls off, and the sword handle hits you upside the head. It hurts like a bitch. My sword is a scimitar which is kinda heavy.

Anywho, lunch is being served, and I need to eat.

Enjoy some bbq for me.

Besitos !

Friday, September 4, 2009

Follow Up To My Last Post.................











Aloha kitties.................








Thanks for the comments, everyone. Please excuse the huge gaps in the post. When I upload my pictures, the spacing gets thrown off and I can't fix it.








I should also mention that yes, there were female roommates during my stay. I did live with women while I lived abroad. I moved about 7 different times in Barcelona. About 5 of those times I did live with a woman in the house. When I first arrived, I lived with a female. But I had to move out because school was out, and I stayed with her while I had class. She was a piece of work though. She overcharged me for my room, and stuck me in a little shithole room with a view of the neighbor walls while my other roommate got a huge room with a nice view. The apartment I lived in was over a hundred years old. I liked the old charm, but not my little room. I complained about it to the school, and she didn't like that. She was an English girl, and she made no attempt whatsoever to help me. We were both foreigners, lol. She also told me to study in my room, not the living room because I had a desk in there. I was glad to get out of there.








My roommate directly after her had the same name as I. She ran a restaurant that specialized in snails and she was nice. I liked her and her roommate, Anna. I rarely ever saw them, because they worked long hours. I was lonely there, but that wasn't their fault. I lasted a month because the place was expensive, I was running out of cash and I went to San Sebastian to be an au-pair.








After that last place, I moved in with my fellow American who I wrote the post below about. I lasted for three weeks there. I was in such a hurry to find a new place, so I planned on touring various places. Instead what happened, was I said yes to the first nice place I saw. The guy seemed very cool at first. He had a nice place, he was a native Barcelonean, he was around my age, and lived across from his mom. I had never lived with a guy before (besides the American for 3 weeks) so I decided to give it a try. I found him on Easy Piso, which is like Roommate Finder.








I could've looked around further, but:








1.) I really wanted out of my last place, and was ready to take any place that seemed nice.




2.) Roommate searching in a foreign country is never easy. My Spanish wasn't as strong, I had no car and had to take the metro all over town. His place was nice, he seemed nice and I felt like it would work. I lived with him for a total of 5 months. Three of those were peaceful and without incident. He never laid a hand on me, but he kept wanting a relationship with me. I knew he wouldn't take no for an answer so I had move out. It was his mother who took care of me when I was bedridden with the flu for two weeks and celebrated my birthday.








After him I swore off male roommates and I moved in with a girl from Germany. She did modeling on the side and studied French. She had a beautiful view of the city. She was nice to my face but underneath I could sense that something wasn't right. She would also let her boyfriend hang around a lot. After pretending he didn't exist for a while, I finally decided to say hello to him and talk to him in front of her so she wouldn't think I was rude, and so he wouldn't think I didn't like him. But as I was talking to him, she gave me the stink eye. A few nights later I heard her mention to him that I get on her nerves. She went on and on, and then told him to be quiet as I may hear them. I had just been there for a week or two. I was heart broken because I had just gotten out of a bad situation. And I liked her, and really thought we got along.








But I decided to get her back. I knew that finding a roommate wasn't easy for her either since she wasn't in her own country so I decided to move out by the end of that month and let her find someone else. I made some excuse of something happening back home, and how I was broke and had no more money to stay. Interestingly enough, she tried to accomodate me and let me stay a little longer or something like that. At that point, I decided that I wanted out of her house and I wasn't going to stay so I told her I had to go back home, and bolted out of there by the end of the month to the last place I would live in Barcelona. She tried to find other people, and she had to work at that. I was quiet, I paid rent on time, and didn't bother her. She had a Brazilian girl come over and spend the night, but it looks like she couldn't afford to move in after all. By the time I left, she wanted to remain friends with me and told me to call her if I needed anything, but I made up my mind that I was gonna move, so I smiled accepted the number, but moved anyway and never talked to her after. I never told her about the conversation I overheard.








After that I moved in with a female coworker into her apartment (Colombian but lived in the US for years) and two gay male friends from Argentina. The funny thing was she and I were slobs, but those guys were neat. We had no boyfriends, but they had boyfriends. She and I bonded and we would take trips together, but something about her underneath wasn't quite right. She was nice to me, but nasty to the other gay roommates and called them faggots and said she wanted to kick them out on the street. Those men weren't perfect either. They were like whiny girls and got on my nerves, but I wouldn't have said those things about them.








She had a streak of anger that I knew would be directed at me in a matter of time. At the firm I worked in, she was one of the brokers who was very good at getting rich men to part with their euros and invest in the "stocks" the company sold. She would smile at me while talking, but after a few seconds her eyes would turn to ice and it would kind of disappear. I knew that I couldn't stay there with her alone. My instincts were telling me that something was off. Sometimes I would ask her a simple question and she got upset. I remember asking her about her cancer or something like that, she said she diagnosed herself . I was asking questions about how she diagnosed it or how she knew, but she was getting a little short with me. I shut up, but put that in the back of my mind.








Luckily at the end of the month I flew back to the US. I still kept in touch with her, but to me, she was one of those friends you keep at arms length, or in other words, don't live with.








See my little kittens, look what you pulled out of me, lol.








I've been wanting to write a detailed entry about my roommate experiences in Barcelona but never got around to it until now. I am glad that I am finally writing about it in a little more detail.








As for male roommates, I have lived with male roommates here in the states, and have not had the issues I had in Barcelona.








My last roommate was male from South Africa, but he was very respectful, and we were respectful of each others' boundaries and maintained our own lives. He was the best roommate I had, and it's a shame he lost his job and work visa. It was a nice apartment too.


Anyway, above are the pictures from my first apartment in Barcelona. The elevator was something else, that I tried to avoid at all costs. It would only hold one person and I think it only took you up. It wouldn't go up and down, just own direction.
I will have to show you some other pics sometime.

Sleep in my bed and help me get better karma........(Long and hard post)

Hello There My Little Fuzzballs,

The economy sucks balls. People are laid off, losing their homes, just going through a tough time in general. (Ashleigh, not a word from you.......)

And because of that, there will always be some people who are willing to capitalize on your misfortune, yet cover it up as "doing you a favor."

Like our little gem below. I found him on Craigslist in the housing section. I've been perusing the room-for-rent ads to see what's out there as well as get an idea of what prices are reasonable.

Prizes like this dude have been on the rise. They may have a job or a place to live, yet they can't get laid. So what do they do ? Offer their room for a "reduced rent" situation or they offer it for free. All the woman has to do is share the bed, or cuddle or hang out. No sex required !

Anyhoochie, here is the ad of the day, with my glorious ponderings in bold:


I thought I'd try and get some good Karma coming my way and give someone a break on rent, and get some companionship for me along the way as well...I'm looking for a female to share my bed and be my cuddle partner...nothing sexual...just snuggling. Free to you, just buy your own food. I have no time nor the effort to find a girlfriend (not that I'm looking for a "girlfriend experience"), just miss the companionship and snuggling. Great apartment, great neighborhood, pool, jacuzzi, cable, wireless internet...all free to you.

1.) Someone needs to reach out to this poor bastard and explain that you can't bang your way into good karma. If that were the case a helluva lot more men would be on the path to righteousness.


2.) This prize expects the female to sleep in his bed, and just cuddle and expect that he won't accidentally touch a boob or trip and fall into her ?

3.) So he expects her to cuddle with him, sleep in the same bed, share the whole apartment, yet his food is off limits ?

4.) No time or effort to find a girlfriend ? And not that he's looking for the "girlfriend" experience. The man is flat out lying. He is desperate and just frustrated that no one is playing with his ding-dong. Trapping a woman in his apartment is his last hope. If he were telling the truth, he'd be too busy whoring around instead of writing a desperate ad in the housing section of Craigslist.

5.) Great apartment, great neighborhood, pool, jacuzzi, cable, wireless internet...all free to you. Remember, not all is free as he will expect you to buy your own food. Oh, he mentioned the jacuzzi, as you will probably try to pork you in it. Don't think I am joking, as earlier this year I caught two people getting loud and roudy in the jacuzzi of our apartment complex. Oh, and P.S: usually men who offer places like this for free have mediocre places at best. Usually they are in run down neighborhoods with unkempt lawns, rowdy children, and gawd-awful banda music.

While we are at it, I will admit that I learned this lesson the hard way. Not here of course, but overseas in Barcelona in a foreign country. I was on my own, and things weren't working out. My money was running out, I had no one to turn to, and if I didn't think fast I wouldn't know where I would sleep or live.

So I went to be an au-pair in San Sebastian to three boys. I even took the train to meet the family. A doctor, his wife and three boys. They seemed nice and they had a beautiful house. You could see France from our back yard. They had a pool, and the best food around.

Yet when I moved in, I felt so depressed. I could barely contain myself and do my duties of watching the three boys and cleaning the house. I felt trapped. I was basically isolated on a mountain, slept in a room in the basement area, and was way underpaid, as I had no working papers AND I was living in their house. They said I would be a part of their family, but I definitely didn't feel that way. I couldn't bond. The wife didn't want to talk to me. If I needed something, she told me to go ask her husband, and he didn't really want to deal with me either.

I lasted a week. I couldn't take it anymore, so I lied and said someone died back home. I then packed my shit up there and bolted.

Long story short, before I left I called my American friend who I met a few weeks prior. He kept telling me to come back to Barcelona. It would be okay. He would get me a job at his firm and he would let me stay in his spare bedroom. What did I need ? Did I need money ? He would give me money. Anything I needed he was willing to help me out.

Why ? Because "Americans help each other out"

At that point I was broke, had nothing, and needed the cash. Instead I took out an advance on my credit card and said no to his cash offer. I don't care how broke I am, I won't accept a wad of cash from a man unless he is family. I would let him buy me dinner, but I just can't bring myself to accept cold cash from a man I barely know.

I agreed to his place, as he lived there for free for his job. So he wasn't really going out of his way for me. I also asked him what he would expect out of me if I live with him.

He said that there were no strings attached. I made him swear up and down that he wouldn't come knocking on my door for "benefits". He promised me over and over that would never happen.

It was a risk, but a risk that I was willing to take since I was so miserable. I was ready to jump off a cliff if I didn't get out of that house in San Sebastian. So I took the train back to Barcelona, and didn't look back.

Anyway, he got me the job at his firm, and I was finally getting paid. As for his apartment, I lasted for three weeks before he started getting a little hostile with me. He never forced himself on me, but he picked on me in other ways. He kept getting meaner because I would go out, learn the language and meet people while he stayed inside and ordered take-out. He said real nasty things, and we fought so loud that the neighbor scolded him, lol.

So I quickly found another roommate, a man that spoke no English, and moved into his place. I took some food out of the my old roommate's fridge since I was hungry, and I got called up and told how selfish I was for taking food. But I was out, didn't care, and I ignored him at work.

Little did I know that I would later have drama with my new male roommate, but that is for another entry.

I know I go off on tangents, but I learned this lesson early. There is no such thing as something for free. There are always conditions attached to gestures.

I was lucky I was unharmed. Thank goodness, because when I called home to report this, I wasn't taken seriously. I asked for financial assistance and was basically told to suck it up and wait until I got paid. And I did, so I can look back and know that I can take care of myself.

This guy contacted me a couple of years later on the IM. I asked why he was so mean, and he said that he knew I wouldn't sleep with him and he was pissed about it. He was basically frustrated. He knew we had an agreement, and took it out on me in other ways.

I have forgiven him. Yeah, he was a jerk, but he got me back to Barcelona, and into a job. Because of that, I was able to stay in the country for another 8 months and enjoy the country. And for that I was and still am grateful.

Sometimes people that help you out in the beginning can turn on you. Sometimes what you think is a blessing in the beginning doesn't last. I guess some people are meant to come in your life and stay for a short period of time. My aunt experienced this in Spain as well, many years ago. She was attacked by one guy, and the guy who comforted her turned on her and tried to attack her later.

So I really went off tangent.

Ciao for now kittens................

Thursday, September 3, 2009

No, I wasn't looking at your crotch................

Hello Kittens,

As you may or may not know, I am currently a security wench for a living. Don't ask me about the uniform because it sucks. I wear beige pants that make my ass look big, and my top is oversized. The shirt is too long, so I have to stuff it in my pants, which makes me look like I have a tummy. So you get to see my fat ass, but you don't get to see that I actually do have some nice curves.

Anywhore, as part of my job I need to make sure that I can see peoples' badges when they walk in. Also, I need to know the names of employees when I am talking to them, and I usually do this by reading their names off their badges that are clipped to their belts.

But what happens when a guy has his badge close to his crotch ? I was talking to one of the guys in upper management today, and I was scanning him for his badge, when BAM it was close to his third leg. I felt embarrassed.

But that wasn't the worst. Three years ago when I first started out as a receptionist, this guy walks in. I was looking for his badge, which was ...........yeah, you guessed it.......... very close to his crotch. He saw me look down there and he winked at me.

One guy actually took the cake and wore his badge over his crotch. Management was very strict, and I was new meat at the time, and I was constantly asking each employee to show me his/her badge. I know it was annoying, but I didn't know everyone well enough to recognizes employees from nonemployees. So I guess one guy decided to shut me up and clip the badge on his belt over the crotch.

That is all for now.

Gracias y besitos !

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Our Little Roadtrip Tradition



Hello There My Little Furballs,

My brother and I usually ride together when visiting our grandparents. It is a four hour drive so we occupy ourselves with music half the time.

This guy here is named Howlin' Wolf, and he is singing Smokestack Lightning. This guy is great. Our favorite thing to do is listen to this song and howl like wolves. I ask of you, my kittens, to please move your paws to the mouse and click on the link and have a listen. Because when you do, you will know why we are howling like wolves while making turns on the windy roads to grandma's. Sometimes we'll play the song again just to howl along with the chorus.

Nothing else is really going on right now. I am getting bit with travel bug. I don't get vacation time until November, and I would like to go somewhere next spring. I would like to start with NYC and visit Ellis Island, and eat a lot of food, and act like a tourist. My last trip anywhere out of state was 2007 when I went to a wine festival in Oregon to drink wine and eat all the crab you want drenched in butter.

NYC is definitely on my list next, and then hopefully an international destination.

That is all for now little loves. Time to go and work on some dance moves. I was working on deflating my ass yesterday. But that is not going to happen. It's just not going to get smaller. What's happening is I am getting a little lift, though which is nice.

Like I said, no secrets between us.

Ciao..............

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Squeaky Wheel Gets Laid

Hello My Little Furballs,

Craigslist was a goldmine for me over the weekend. So many interesting personals ads for me to peruse. It's like these men knew I was here looking to poke fun at their ads, and they wanted in on the action. Senorita, pick me ! I am an "honest" married man and I demand a monogamous sexual partner ! They are just begging for me to mock their ads.

Here is an ad below, with my "manslation" in bold caps


I'm new to this NO I AM NOT........
Date: 2009-08-30, 5:22PM

And here it goes... I'm looking for a long term mutually exclusive relationship. STATISTICALLY SPEAKING, I WANNA BANG YOU.............
Fine. I'm a great looking guy I LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR EVERY DAY, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE MIRROR LIKES IT... 175 pounds, blue eyes. I'm a Professional (scientist, PhD) SO I WILL INSERT RANDOM JOKES ABOUT MY HUMAN GENOME PROJECT AND OFFER YOU A DNA SAMPLE. I'm looking for a nice looking mature, responsible woman 130 pounds or less age 30 to 45. BASICALLY SUGAR PIE, NO FATTIES ALLOWED !!! I am married and you should be too. YOU SEE MY LITTLE BUTTERCUPS, I KNOW THAT WHORING AROUND BEHIND THE WIFE'S BACK IS WRONG, SO IF I CAN PORK ANOTHER MARRIED WOMAN, THEN THE GUILT SHOULD GO AWAY. The problem is at the moment, my wife and I don't see much of each other and things are lacking in the bedroom. :( NOT ONLY AM I A MARRIED MAN, BUT I AM A WHINY MARRIED MAN. IF I WHINE ENOUGH YOU WILL SCREW ME OUT OF SYMPATHY.

If you're in a similar situation and and want to get together during the week for some husband and wife bedroom activities, but without the husband and wife OOOH A WITTY SCIENTIST, please, please let me know. PLEASE PLEASE FUCK ME NOW...........
Do you? I would like to get to know you and see you from time to time. We both have needs ALTHOUGH I WILL MAINLY FOCUS ON MINE. I'll come over to your place, and be discreet. I will park down the block so your neighbors won't see a car by your house. THEY WILL JUST SEE A LONELY MARRIED MAN WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN HIS PURSUIT OF PUSSY.
I'll be available on your schedule. Just email me... When you email send me your address and what time you want me to come over. I'll bring chocolates THERE IS A TWO FOR ONE SALE AT RITE AID AND I STOCKED UP. I'll be watching my inbox waiting for you to email. If you need me NOW, just say so and I'll do my best to come over ASAP.
I'm snipped (vasectomy) I BET THAT WAS THE WIFE'S IDEA. Even though, condoms a must. Safe sex only. BASICALLY, I DON'T WANT MY WIFE TO DISCOVER WIERD GROWTHS ON MY MAN PARTS.
The times that work for me are 9am to 6pm during the week, BUT I AM SO HORNY THAT I WILL COME OVER TO PLOW THAT FIELD ANYTIME. I'LL JUST TELL THE WIFEY THAT MY FRIEND BROKE UP WITH HIS GF AND NEEDS ME.

Here is what I think..............

Married men these days are getting more demanding. And I know that these standards are getting met, because if people didn't respond to them, they would give up and just stick to masturbating alone. I wanna know who in their right mind responds to these men who don't even post pictures of themselves and willingly participates in an affair, when they could have single men all to themselves. How is it that these women respond to these ads without even knowing what awaits on the other end ?

You see my little furballs, married men these days are a new breed. They don't want just sex on the side. Oh no, they want the emotional connection, intelligent conversation AND they want you to be faithful to them. I wonder what they tell the other women............. "Don't worry babe, it doesn't actually mean anything when I have sex with my wife. I am going through the motions, but I am really thinking of you."

They want you to be their full on girlfriend without them committing. I also see a lot of ads where some married dude is looking for an "understanding" woman. But I can see why he expects it, because there are women that would do it.

Oh, and why do these dudes say it's their first time ever posting ? I guess they think being new meat is attractive.

It never ceases to amaze me. What amazes me is not only do these men ask for it, but that they actually sometimes get it !

I learned an interesting lesson in working in retail. "You never know until you ask." It's such a simple statement, but it is so true.

People will walk right up to you and brazenly request the darnest things. In retail, I was on both ends.

When I worked in car rental, my managers told us to set our own prices, instead of quoting prices off the national price list. Customers would call me, and when I would look up prices online the boss would come over, and cover up the screen and tell me to quote higher.

I never liked my area manager, and thought he was a total weasle/cocknozzle. Anyway, he told me that we are giving such excellent service, so we should simply "ask" our customers to pay more. We're simply quoting them $15/day extra over the normal rate. And sometimes our customers agreed (because they didn't know better, not because of our service). I really hated that part of my job. My manager Mr. Nanner Bannaner told us that we won't get a high rate until we start asking. He was right in a twisted way.

On the same note, customers would walk straight up to us and ask/demand things of us. Customers who we had no business renting to ( we knew they would probably steal the car) would demand a car.
- Customers who reserved the cheapest car demand a free upgrade into a luxury car.
-Customers would come in a half our after we closed and demand a ride home over 30 minutes away.
-And sometimes management would cave in.

On that note, when I worked in car rental, a married man asked me out, while his wife was outside. First of all, I was 24 at the time, and he was a middle aged man with a wife and kids, who just came back from Disneyland (I remembered why I don't have children after a trip to Disneyland). He was even wearing a Disneyland sweatshirt. I was like "Oh Hells no !" Just looking at him made me depressed. I told him his wife would not like that, but he assured me "oh don't worry, she doesn't mind". Haha yeah, I bet she wouldn't.

I then wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but I instead politely told him I had a very jealous boyfriend that would never go for it.

Wanna know what his response was ?

Wait for it...................... "Well, you never know until you ask"