Things ARE NOT what they seem

Hello Everyone,

Well my friends, it seems like I did NOT get the job as a cocktail waitress at the billiards. Me and two other coworkers applied. Of course the girl who is the least qualified out of us got the job. Of course I am a little miffed about that. Life is just not fair sometimes. I really need the money right now.

And another thing.......... no matter what I do at work, my bosses never congratulate me when I do a good job. But when I make a mistake? I am the first to hear about it. To them, I am always doing something wrong. And my bosses are so good at making me feel like an idiot. They always have to say something. And they wonder why I am not just overjoyed to be at da Red Lobsta every weekend.

I also feel like like nothing is working out for me right now. I am also frustrated because I just can't find a better job right now no matter how hard I try. And not to mention my love life. It is so hard to meet guys, and when I finally do we flirt, but they don't ask me out.

Basically, my life feels stagnant right now. I am broke and scraping to get by with a dead-end job that I hate. It is so hard to pay my basic bills and stay on top of things. I have been doing the school-and-work routine for 5 years and I am just tired of it.

I want to be doing something that I am totally passionate about, and that I am actually damn good at where I am needed and valued. I want to go to work with a confident attitude, knowing how to handle most situations. I just wish that I knew exactly what makes me tick. Right now, my bosses wouldn't care if I just quit, even though I've been there for 3 years. They think I am a fucking idiot. My strengths don't lie in waitressing and I know that. I struggle and get stressed a lot when I serve, even though I give good service most of the time.

Though I've been struggling for a while, I think that something good is bound to happen to me, because I am not giving up. I am gonna graduate and go to Spain. I am gonna continue to look for a job, and continue to strive to do my best. I think I will be successful in due time, though it seems like I will be stuck in this rut forever. I just need to be more confident in my abilities and have faith in the future.