The Subject of Love :)

Hello Everyone,

I almost forgot to mention that my blog here was a candidate of becoming AOL's top pick of the week. This was back in July when I was way too busy with my TEFL course and without enough internet access. At the time passing my course was the only thing I cared about. Therefore, I couldn't respond to the nice people at AOL and send a picture. And now the opportunity has passed. Ah well !!!

I was reading Angela's journal (among my favorites) the other day and she was talking about her first true love. It was such a bittersweet story. I am sure that first true loves are ones that can never be erased. I also found this picture which I posted above. It's so pretty. And the guy there even looks like the guy I've met here in Barcelona. (But that's another story)

I wouldn't know about true love. I have never been in love. I have dated different people (good and bad). And I have even come close to thinking that I was somehow in love. I have also had crushes, but never true love. I have had guys compliment me, but no one has ever really made my heart flutter or make me feel like I am the only special girl in the world.

But I still believe in it. I believe that most people have one great love in their lives and are lucky to find the other person. Some people live their lives without never knowing. I don't know what category I will fall into. That's the mystery of life, I guess.

As I was growing up I had the fantasy of meeting my prince one day and was sure that I would meet him soon. I am all grown up now. Reality came and paid me a visit. Instead of being presented with princes, I was showed the frogs !!!

Am I bitter? No. I am glad that I met these frogs and they have made me a stronger person. I can stand up for myself, and I am learning how to get what I want for once. Plus, it makes for great story-telling.  I also now have a better understanding of how to become a better person for the prince that may or may not show up one day.

I know people that have met their prince at an early age. They don't know what life is like without the other person. If the other person were to leave them or die, they wouldn't know where to being. At least I know how to stand on my own.

Am I sitting by my windowsill with my hair down and waiting for him to hop off his white horse? Hells no ! And he can take his time.

I am out traveling and living my life the way I want it, for once. I am learning how to stand up on my own two feet and survive alone in a foreign country. It's not easy and I bitch about it here in my journal (and probably will continue to.......), but at least I can say that I gave it a shot.

And about the guy I met here? I won't say his name, but he looks kinda like the guy above. I like him because he is sweet, relazed and laid-back. He is also educated (RARE here) and doesn't like to get wasted every night. But he is acting strange. I am glad that I found out sooner than later. He doesn't want to go out and dance and do anything really fun with me. He won't really talk to me and tell me what's bothering him. We're suppose to hang out soon but he told me he'd call me when he feels better. And I haven't heard from him since. And you know what I did ? I made other plans. And if he never calls me again, I wouldn't be too bothered either. I hate being treated like this. If he wants to treat me like this, then maybe I don't want to see him after all. I have feelings too.

Ladies, please.........Here is some advice: If these words are somehow mixed into the conversation, you know you have a problem...

1.)"It's not you, it's me." ( Hell, even I've used that BS line before)                            

2.) "I'll call you later."

3.) "I promise I'll make it up to you."

When I hear these words, I always smile and pretend I never heard them.

I hope this entry hasn't depressed you too much. I am not a bitter person, but sometimes I gotta let my feelings out, and this journal is my territory and therapy at the moment.

Anyways, I AM going out tonite to do another language exchange. There is no way that I am staying here at home alone tonite. He says he's a police officer, so I am hoping that he'll tell me more about immigration laws here in Spain.

Ciao.