Advertising Bullshit

Hello there my fuzzy little ducklings,

So I was pondering some of the advertising bullshit that we're subjected to on a daily basis.

Wanna hear my thoughts ? Thought you would never ask.............

1.) Who came up with the term "easy payments"? Like when you are watching TV for something useless, usually on channels like QVC or HSN where those ladies with fake nails are holding up jewelry or gabbing about a bag. Then they say it could be yours for just 3 easy payments ! Plus shipping and handling, which they say real fast so you hopefully don't hear it.

Just hand us over the money ! It's so easy, you won't even know that we took it ! And we'll take it in small amounts, so that you'll feel better. Basically, they hope that you are so stupid that you can't add up the separate payments to see how much you've actually spent.

I don't know about you, but I bust my ass for every red cent I earn. As my friend Porkstar said, I am a work skank extraordinaire ! So that means that there is nothing easy about me handing over my cash.

If you feel handing your cash over is easy, please contact me and I don't mind helping you. It's my pleasure........... You can hand it over to me in small installments if it makes you feel any better. Your welcome :)

2.) This one is for the ladies ! Have you heard about NuvaRing ? Well, I have, because of the same commercial that has been on many of the shows I watch for over a year now. The same commercial with the ladies in the pool singing "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every day..... Aaaah !........... and repeat !" Oh, that and the slogan "break free from the pack".

For those of you that don't know, its a montly vaginal contraceptive and I wish it would stop airing, as I wish I didn't have the song and saying burned into my brain. Every time I watch TV,the commercial comes on to haunt me.

And for the record, from what I hear you may gain weight from using that or feel depressed. So if you use it, it's probably effective because you're too busy feeling fat and self conscious about the new ass you grew or too depressed to get it on with your lover. Just a thought. But of course, the ladies in the pool in the commercial don't want you to know that. They're just busy with girly drinks in the pool !

3.) Hair dye commercials crack me up ! You can get fabulous hair in just ten minutes ! Such commercials usually have women in a public restroom stressing over their hair ! But no problem, they have the hair dye, and out they walk from the public restroom in their nice business suits with fabulous, sexy, come-do-me hair.

It never takes just ten minutes to dye your hair. You just let it sit and burn through your scalp for ten minutes, and that's before washing out all the dye and styling your hair.

4.) The lastest Vagisil commercials make me laugh. Like recently I was watching a show, probably on the Oxygen Network while watching The Notebook, when BAM ! a Vagisil commercial came on. The announcer basically said that when you suffer from feminine odor or itching, you just don't feel like yourself. In the commercial there was a woman looking in the window while shopping, and she looked sad, like she was too distraught to go in and make a purchase.

Isn't that going too far ? A little feminine problems "down there" never stopped a girl from buying a new skirt or a new pair of shoes. Also, I laugh at the emphasis on "feminine itch". Like, what else do you think the product is used for with a name like Vagisil ? It's not called Penisil. I don't think I could ever imagine a man mistakenly buy it for himself, especially when the packaging is quite frilly and feminine.

I think products like that are better kept off the TV set. We know what they are for, I don't think there is a woman out there (unless she's new to the country) that hasn't heard of Vagisil. It's one of those products that we know is out there, and we know we need it, so when we need it we will go and buy it. We don't need reminders.

Gentlemen, I am sorry if I grossed you out.

Anywho, my fuzzy little quackers that is all for this morning.......