BS Craigslist Requests...................

Hello My Little Mourning Doves.........

I live in the SF Bay Area. I am also always perusing Craigslist for a nice apartment, or a better job.

I like to laugh at the ads for rooms that state there is "a big walking closet" (walk-in closet). Oh really ? Will it walk up to me and scare me in the middle of the night too ?

There are also many ads for rooms where they charge you full rent, yet they don't want you to use the kitchen. Recently, I found a guy who said that he preferred a roommate that liked to stay in his room.

Anywhore, I am not really here to squawk about housing on Craigslist.

I wanted to share with you this little gem, especially since I know there are a few of you in the legal field:

Hello. I am a Pro Per as the plaintiff in a civil harassment case against my neighbors.

I am needing a paralegal for the usual stuff. Helping me with motions, opposition to motions, discovery, etc. Since I'm new to this, I will need help understanding how to respond, which forms, my options in responding, etc.
This is in Alameda county but the paralegal can be in the greater SF Bay area.
The case has already been filed, so I'm looking for a paralegal that can get started fairly quickly. The work will be part-time freelance and sporadic as the case progresses. But I would like a paralegal that can stick with the case all the way through trial if that occurs.

Please respond by letting me know your experience in civil litigation, your compensation, and other information you feel is relevant. Thanks.

::Blinks::

I just can't possibly address all the thoughts going through my head.

I know lawyers are expensive. It's expensive to practice law. I know I couldn't afford one right now.

But this guy is not only too cheap to hire an attorney, he wants a paralegal to do everything the attorney does, including the entire discovery process ! LOL.

Paralegals can only work under attorneys or in law firms or government agencies. They are basically the attorneys' bitches and can only work under their direction. For good reason, if there is a major screw-up the attorneys are held liable.

I was almost tempted to "apply" for this bullshit offer, as I wanted to see how he would question me, and how he would critique my resume, knowing that he wouldn't have an idea of what to ask me. Like what was he going to pay me ? $10 an hour ?

The sad thing is, he will probably get someone that responds. Oh wait, I did........ I told him he was crazy, what he was asking is illegal, and that he should do his own legal research.