If You're Broke and Horny, Then I'm Your Man

Hello Again My Lovelies,

I found this ad on Craigslist. It cracked me up. I thought I would put my "translations" in bold letters.

Here is just a sample of what you can find here in the SF Bay Area:

Attractive UPSCALE BENEFACTOR seeking the Right Girl

I'm young, but extremely successful and accomplished So successful I'm looking for pootang on Craigslist. I'm 30 (True Age I'm 39 ), white, very attractive so my mom says/sexy, tall, good shape plump, green eyes, and get a lot of attention from the opposite sex if I pay enough. I'm also charming, intelligent, witty, easy to talk to, and have a great sense of humor blah blah blah. I don't enjoy hook-ups or one night stands, but also don't want anything serious or with much expectation I want to get my swerve on, but don't want to work hard for it. I work in real estate development I'm a part time real estate agent, and I haven't made money in this economy and spend a lot of time traveling in my pursuit for more poon. I work hard when I'm on the road, so looking for someone fun to spend some time with here. Ideally I'd like to find someone who will benefit from having a generous & fun friend generous and fun with my penis, and who is also not looking for anything serious. I want to spend time with someone when I'm in town I'm actually married, I thought I told you (I will show you an amazing time not really). I am an extremely good catch for this sort of relationship (the kind of guy who you'd want to spend time with anyway). I am very supportive and enjoy mentoring as well I try to rescue you and then tell you what to do. I will be Very generous not financially anyway with the right girl. Please send a picture or 2 and intro if interested.

An OMG!WTF!! Moment

Hello There My Lovelies,

Yesterday I had a drink with a fellow volunteer at a pub in my old neighborhood. It was a Wednesday night and I just wanted to chill out. The crowd is usually either college aged guys outside smoking or older dudes. I don't see a lot of chicks in there.

It's a small British Pub and they serve greasy food in there. I just had greasy garlic bread while my friend had burger and a beer. I didn't want to drink since I had to drive home. It's definitely a bar, there are no waiters, and it smells like stale smoke in there.

Anywho...... This woman with a stroller walks in at around 8pm and sits down. Immediately I just looked at her and thought "WTF are you doing bringing your baby in a stroller here at the bar ???" She saw me and knew what I was thinking. So she looked at me and asked me if her baby there bothered me....

I immediately looked for the biggest white lie I could find and proceeded to pull it out of my ass. I smiled and I said " No, actually, I am sitting in this huge chair where there is an open space next to me. Since you have a stoller, I figured you'd have more space for your baby sitting here. Would you like to have my seat ?"

What else could she say to me ? I then went to the bar stools where I could turn my back towards her and pretend that there really wasn't a baby in the BAR !!!

I don't say anything or give any looks when I see babies in nice restaurants, or on airplanes.

But a bar ? Hell yeah ! I won't say anything, but I will give a look or two, only because sometimes my thoughts get so loud in my head that I don't realize the look that is on my face.

I don't have children, and sometimes I just want to chill out and use foul language with other adults. I definitely don't want to hear a baby cry in an effing bar fer Chrissake !! The two just do not mix !

No parent is perfect, and I guarantee I will make mistakes if I ever decide to procreate. But one thing you will not see me do is bring a baby into a bar.

Kinda reminds me of the time I went to my friend's wedding................. This chick showed up in CHURCH wearing a lingerie top ( a lacy corset sold at Fredericks of Hollywood) with blue jeans with the straps for the stockings hanging over her jeans.

Just plain tacky, and definitely not in tune with her surroundings......................

7 Things I Want to Do Before I Die

Aloha my Lovelies,

I think that everyone, no matter what their responsibilities are should have a list like this. With the economy in the crapper, and with people who have responsbilities like kids or sick parents, it's near impossible to think about things you would like to do for fun or excitement.

But I still think it doesn't hurt to dream. You never know when things can change, you never know when you will get the chance to do things you want to do. Well, at least that's how my life is. It changes so fast. The predictable thing about my life is that it's so unpredictable.

But when I do get the opportunity, here are some things I would like to do.......................

1.) Go skydiving
2.) Learn another language: Arabic or Russian
3.) Go to New York City and see Ellis Island and try to locate my great- grandparents' records
4.) Live in another country at least one more time
5.) Travel the world. That is very broad, but some countries on my list are: Holland, Morocco, Egypt, Lebanon, Russia. I am open minded to more.

2 Things I am considering doing down the road..............

1.) Going to law school, and trying to get into an ivy league school ( That ship may have sailed)
2.) Living in San Francisco or New York City

Let's take a step back, and I'll share some of the things that I actually DID do that were once on my wish list or I thought were important.................

1.) Lived in Barcelona for a year. I traveled there alone and lived and worked under the table. I even tried to get Spanish citizenship.
2.) I danced with my bellydance idol, Tito at his workshop.
3.) I've changed my career and gotten my certificate.
4.) I've volunteered in the community
5.)I got a body piercing
6.) Not only did I make bellydance my passion, but I also learned how to dance with the double veils and the sword.
7.) I visited a concentration camp. (Not really a happy moment, but I felt it was something I needed to do)
8.) I've started a blog and it's been almost 6 years and I'm still blogging
9.) I was able to thank my Oma for her teaching me German and about my roots and let her know how greatful I was before she passed away.


If you have some things you'd like to do, please share. It may give me more ideas........

What I want to do.........

Hello Again,

I just wanted to put it out there that I would really like to whip up a bowl of Funfetti cake batter eat a little of that, followed by eating a little bit of frosting out of the tub.

I am a total cake and cupcake whore, and I enjoy baked cakes and cupcakes. You won't ever see me turn those down.

But once in a while, eating raw batter never killed anyone.

I am sitting here with cravings, and there is nothing I can do about it. :(

I Can't Believe I Stooped So Low

Hello There My Lovelies,

It is not news that I am an reality TV hooch.

But I took it to a whole nother level last night. I watched Daisy of Love. If you don't know what that show is even about, then you are lucky. If you have children and they like that show, they deserve to be punished.

Not only did I watch it, but I even liked it. There is something about watching train wrecks on TV reality shows that amuses me.

I just have to say that the male contestants for Daisy are absolute tools to the tenth power. And yet, I continued to watch while I was eating chocolate.

Yes I do have a small TV addiction. I grew up without a TV in the house. Long story, but I didn't get to watch TV in my place of residence until I grew up and escaped the nest aka living on campus in college.

Speaking of train wrecks, skanks and tools, the reunion for For the Love of Ray J is on tonite.

Lazy Sunday....

Hello There My Lovelies............Absolutely nothing new in my world today. I watched TV all day until I had to go to work this afternoon. It was fabulous. Before I left the house, I raided the bag of chocolate chips in the fridge. Just couldn't help myself.

Ever since school got out I've been interviewing, looking for a legal job online, going to my internship, among other things. I'm kind of exhausted, but enjoying not going to class. I was so burned out this past quarter. It's such a relief to be done with classes and finally qualified under CA state law to be a paralegal.

My former professor is starting a Family Law Clinic for people who can't afford legal advice. I am looking forward to volunteering, especially since I find this to be an interesting practice of law. Also, he was a great teacher, one of those that feels we should all go to law school. Those are my favorite types.My goal is to do this clinic along with my other internship, and I hope it will work out. In this crappy economy it is important to get involved, sharpen your skills and keep your list of references up to date. I can't stress that enough, especially when it comes to interviews.

Other things I forgot to mention

Hello There My Lovelies.......

-- Mark. "Besitos" means "kisses" in Spanish.

-- Myra, I sent you an invite email to my other blog. I got it off your blog. If you still haven't gotten the invite, please let me know so that I may send it to you again.

As for taking away the Word Verification on my blogs, someone please enlighten me on how to do it, or where I can look for find the answer. I would love to make commenting easier for you and I know that word verification can be a pain in the padded ass. Please help me to help you.


-- And one more thing........... Like I said, I don't like to spread my political beliefs because I believe we are all entitled to our opinions............ but THIS just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up every time.

I was watching the news on the protests on torturing our enemies. There were a bunch of people protesting, as well as the ACLU. They are offended that the United States uses water boarding to interrogate terrorist suspects.

Can't the ACLU find another cause to get riled up about ? Isn't there another free speech lawsuit they could be filing ?

Here is my point of view...... Why is this a problem !?!? When we go to other countries, look at the treatment suspects get. Way worse. They don't give a shit and no one says anything about it. Look at the torture that was inflicted upon prisoners during the Vietnam war, both American and Vietnamese. How come no one ever condemned them for that ?

But here in the USA, waterboarding TERRORIST suspects is a problem ??? People who want to harm our country aren't just going to stop just because we want to be nicer to them and treat them more humanely. They are going to keep causing terror because it's what they believe in and are willing to die for the cause. If we are nicer to them, they will walk all over us. Ever think of that ????

I bet all those American protesters trying to fight for more human treatment for terrorist suspects wouldn't be fighting for that cause if they were being tortured. What's funny, is the terrorists they are rooting for don't give a shit about them, and probably want them to die as well.

This is an example of when political correctness has gone way too far.

Slothy Saturday

Hello There My Lovelies,

So today I slept in, and then went to dance practice. I dance at the yoga studio next to the Facebook headquarters here in the Bay. I haven't been there for a few months because it's a long drive and I've been lazy.

But today I went and had fun dancing. We worked on warmups, drills and a little bit of spins. Spins/turns are sexy in bellydance because you kinda kneel a little and put your hips more into it.

Tomorrow is Sunday and I am looking forward to watching Tough Love. You know what else I am looking forward to ? The reunion of For the Love of Ray J. Man, those chicks are crazy. The only person who had common sense on the show was Ray J's mom who told him " I say no to all" after he asked her to help him decide.

I am gonna miss Brett Michaels on TV though. He is my favorite man whore. I really hope he dumps Taya and does another show.

Hey Baby, Wanna Go Someplace Quiet ?

Aloha there my Lovelies,

Okay, so I've done it. I have made my other blog private.

Here's how you get in: As long as you are not related to me, you're in. It's that simple.

I just need a place to vent, where it's kind of anonymous, where I can talk about things like boys without it being broadcasted to the public.

I emailed a bunch of people invites via e-mail. If you got it, you can read my blog if you have a gmail account. If you don't have a gmail account, you have to sign up in order to read my blog, but the good news is that it's free.

You can also add yourself to my reader list while you're there.

I look forward to seeing you all there.

If you can't get in, please let me know so I can fix the issue.

I will continue to blog here, but the other journal is probably gonna be a little more juicy.

Besitos.......

My witty banter

Hello There My Lovelies,

It is sooooooo hot around here. It makes me feel exhausted. I think the weather today was probably around 100 degrees. I am so lucky I have AC at home and in my car. While I was in college, I remember driving this broke-down 1990 Chevy Corsica with a busted AC. It would've costed me $500 to replace the AC and my car was worth less than $2,000 so there was no way I was going to throw a wad of cash like that, regardless of the heat outside. It was so hot that summer, but I sucked it up like a champ and dealt with it.

Other than that, I've been eyeing all the purses the ladies at work carry. I was thinking about buying a Coach bag sometime (when I have more $ of course). But as I look around at work, it seems like all the ladies have a Coach bag. I went to the store, and I keep seeing Coach Coach Coach. I don't want to be like everyone else.

Last but definitely not least, I got to talk to my grandmother today. My grandparents are the most special to me, especially my grandmother. It is my grandmothers on both sides who have been my role models of the type of woman I hope to become. Don't get me wrong, I love my grandpa too. It's just that my grandmas have been the perfect type of female role model for me growing up.

Things I've admired:

1.) Both were strong willed women that believed in equality between the sexes. My paternal grandma was part of the original women's movement with Betty Friedan. She decided to leave when it was taken over by extremists/male bashers. In their time they weren't afraid to go to work and earn a living.

2.) They believed in community service. I really took that to heart. They served the homeless, the mentally ill, soldiers, and the elderly. I really believe that those of us that are able to give back, should give back. Especially since you never know when you will end up needing help.

3.) They are both sweet as can be, but aren't easily taken advantage of. They were very business smart. They knew how to manage their finances. My paternal grandma played the stock market when it was better, of course. Women have a bad reputation of not being as business savy as men. It's a generalization that I don't like but both grandmas in my family could be housewives or businesswomen.

4.) They both met the loves of their lives and while they both lost their husbands, they were able to pick up and keep going and met wonderful men after. My grandma and grandpa now still act like they're on their honeymoon and truly treasure eachother. They feel like it's a pleasure to be around each other.

When my Austrian grandma passed away I was given a jewelry set that my grandpa saved up to buy for her: A smoky topaz ring and necklace. I don't care how poor or hungry I get. That is something I wouldn't dream of giving up.

I look at relationships today, and think many people miss out on what's truly important. I also see women commanding less respect from men, and men aren't being as chivalrous because women have accepted that. I remember going out with a guy 3 years ago on our first. He bought me lunch, ice cream and drove me around the city. Then he expected me to put out, and when I didn't let him he tried to make me feel guilty. All of a sudden, I wasn't grateful, and I wasn't "wild" enough, lol.

Some men are resentful of women that expect many dates with flowers before putting out. I hear it from my guy friends a lot "I don't mind paying as long as I know I am getting something out of it." or "I will wait a couple of months before I have sex, but I won't hang around for longer than that." What happened to men enjoying the company of a woman and paying for dinner ? I've heard a lot of men complain about how the woman he took out was just out for a free meal. I tend to find that very offensive, as a meal isn't usually very expensive. Women don't go out for free meals. At least most don't. I would rather eat alone and pay for my meal rather than have a free meal with a man who I don't want to go out with.

Just as women should be able to command respect and weed out men that aren't serious about them, men should be able to weed out women that are only there for money.

I don't believe in golddigging, but I do believe in chivalry, especially since I've heard many stories about the chivalrous gentlemen in my family.

Juicy Meat At Midnight

Hello There My Lovelies,

So last night after work I was staaarving ! I got off work at midnight and decided to go to Jack in the Box. Gotta love Jack in the Crack. Did I tell you that it was my very first job at the tender age of 16 ? I started out as the cashier, but upon discovering my award winning personality, my boss moved me to the drive-thru, where I became the drive-thru wench.

Good times. When I started I was soooo naive, and didn't have a clue when the cooks were giving me those pervy eyes. The food was good though. A lot of items on the menu have been added since then, but the classics such as the Jumbo Jack still remain.

Which is what I had last night at midnight. I ordered a nice, juicy Jumbo Jack with no mayo and extra onions and tomatoes. I don't think a burger takes right without onions and tomatoes. I wolfed down that burger like I was recovering from a famine. It was so good.

I don't usually like to eat around midnight, but last night's burger was delish. It was so worth feeling a little bloated this morning.

The manwhore and the cougar. RAWR !!

Hello There My Lovelies,

It is Sunday, and the weather is hot outside. I definitely need to step it up a notch and get back into working out again. I've been so busy with finish school, job searching and my internship that I haven't made it a huge priority. :( But because summer is around the corner, and I would like to look hotter, I better start getting off my ass again. I promised the lady I live with that I will dance tomorrow morning.

Today I did my Sunday morning ritual of locking myself in my room and watching Rock of Love followed by Tough Love. VH1 used to be one of the better quality stations. Now, I think it's gotten worse than MTV. But I do like bad reality TV, so whatever.

So today, I watched the Rock of Love Reunion and got to see my favorite dirty manwhore Bret Michaels in action. Seriously, what a TOOL. He has got to be the only man I know of that wears hair extensions and a bandanna. Plus he was sporting this awful facial hair that just did NOT work for him on today's reunion show. I thought his face kinda resembled a vagina. If I were one of the eliminated girls, I would've been thanking my lucky stars that he eliminated me.

This man is well into his forties, is short, his Sunset Strip party days are clearly over, Pam Anderson whom he banged on film (before the infamous Tommy Lee) is just as haggard as he is, he wears hear extensions and eyeliner, and women still line up to fight over him/bang him. And he just sits there and loves the catfights. Women degrade themselves over him. So gross, yet it's something that I can't seem to look away from, like a trainwreck. Shame on me for watching all this on the boob tube !!

While we're still talking about trashy television, there is another show that I told you I would blog about called The Cougar. Have you guys seen it ?

The term cougar is a relatively new word used to describe older women on the prowl for younger men. Like women in their forties going after men in their twenties.

Seriously, who am I to say anything. Older men have been on the prowl for young, fresh lady meat for as long as civilization, I would imagine. So, if older women want to feast on young male meat and the men like it, go for it.

But for me, I don't understand it.

I fall into the category of women that dates older. I couldn't imagine dating a man younger than me. In my experience, most men my age or younger may be sexual, but they aren't serious. They aren't really planning for the future, and are still in the party stage. Still giving high fives to their "boys", still going to Vegas and talking about the hot stripper chicks they saw. Still drinking after work, and still getting all their partying out of their system. You mention self improvement to them, and they look at you funny. You talk about spirituality and if they aren't very religious you can forget about discussing anything like that.

Anyway.... about the television show the Cougar........... This gorgeous blonde woman in her forties with four children gets to choose from a pool of 25 younger men to find the younger man of her dreams. It's so recockulous how these tools fight over her.

The show is hosted by Vivica Fox, whom I adore. She would definitely qualify as a cougar, and I am sure that men would line up to date her, but I am so glad that she didn't assume that cougar title. And I don't think it's an endearing term. It implies that they are predators. In society it is accepted for older men to date younger women. It turns them into studs. When women date younger men, it makes them look like predators, or desparate.

While being a cougar is a relatively new thing, it isn't necessarily looked upon favorably as mentioned above. Many times the woman ends up taking care of the younger guy financially. And there is a stigma about that. I tend to believe that a woman shouldn't financially support a man unless their married and he stays at home. Even then, I tend to disagree with that. But hey, that's just me.

So yeah, the lady on The Cougar already met her men, and eliminated a few of them. One of the guys actually had the gall to use a horrid, horrid pickup line on her:

" How about I give you an Australian kiss. It's like a regular kiss, but down under." Then he was so shocked when she eliminated him, thinking that they had a great vibe. He thought he approached her with such confidence, lol.

I can't wait to see how this cougar/older lady decides to feast on her prey next week.

Total Reality TV Whore

Hello There My Lovelies........

I love watching reality TV. I don't watch them all, but I do have my fair share of faves. Here they are in no particular order.

1.) Millionaire Matchmaker
2.) Tough Love
3.) For the Love of Ray J
4.) Rock of Love with Brett Michaels ( Brett Michaels is my favorite manwhore, and I feel so sorry for the women that actually think he's looking for love)
5.) The Cougar
6.) The Real Housewives: Atlanta, New York, Orange County and I look forward to seeing the women from New Jersey in May

I love watching the above shows, but what's even more entertaining is reading up on the gossip online and finding out what really happened and what was edited out, and what was real and what was fake. For example, it's always amusing to find out that the women in the Housewives series are usually about to file for bankruptcy, or are renting the homes they brag about, or are not actually in a committed relationship because they are sleeping with a married man.

Don't get me started on Millionaire Matchmaker. A couple of months ago, I totally loved Patti Stanger. I still find her entertaining, and she does give some good advice. But as I continued to watch the show and read up on her more, I realized she is such a hypocrite. She boasts a 99% success rate, yet almost all of the people on the show didn't work out as a couple. The people casted on that show are questionable. One women was a Playboy model, another wrote a book about her affairs with married men and how to "protect the other woman", another woman was a raunchy cyber model. A couple of the men weren't even rich. One of the men who hailed himself as an artist didnt' own the home he was in on the show. That house belonged to his parents.

Patti talks about true love and marriage, but can't seem to get her boyfriend of 5 years to put a ring on her finger. She goes back and forth and says she wants marriage and then tells us that she'd rather focus on her career, and maybe marriage isn't much of a priority for her. Women that are truly in love don't say "Oh, I'd rather focus on my job". They want to be married, and I know that she does too, because she's mentioned it. I can also see her insecurities when she deals with millionairesses and tries to match them up.

I used to totally love America's Next Top Model, but I've grown tired of that show and Tyra Banks. I will blog about her some other time. Boy do I have an opinion about her.

Reality TV I can't stand.........

1.) For the Love of Money
2.) Top Chef
3.) American Idol
4.) The Women of Flava Flav

Don't get me started on Flava Flav. Actually, Flava Flav makes Lil Wayne look like a hot male model. I don't know why women fight for his love, for some dude that wears horns and a big ass clock around his neck.

Okay, that's enough talking about all these shows.

Dating and My Friend (No I am not dating my friend, lol)

Hello There Again My Lovelies,

So I want to blog about my friend, Ashleigh. Yeah, the one who I ate cake batter with (yeah, cake batter is delish). She's also one of my blog followers, but I don't know how to connect her here on this entry. I also call her Mama Cita, lol.

Well, I am happy because my mama cita found love with a wonderful man!! Ashleigh and I have been in relationships at the same time, and we have also been single at the same time as well. On our downtime as single ladies, we would commiserate together, lol. And boy do we have stories !! . I remember crying to her when I was going through my break up, and she would call me up too when she had man issues. She was the only friend that met my ex, so she knew him and gave me great advice that I should've taken immediately after the breakup: "Move on, don't answer his calls, you are way prettier than him, you can do a helluva lot better, he's too old for you, I really never felt he was right for you, etc.... among a bunch of other hilarious things about him."

And now I get to be here and be happy for her with her new guy. She met him off Yahoo Personals, and I am super happy because it was me that kept pushing for her to sign up for the free trial membership on Yahoo Personals. She didn't even have to pay and she found the guy !! I have used Match.com before as well as Yahoo, and both were huge flops. But I felt that there were hotter men on Yahoo, so I told her to just sign up. I kept pestering her to sign up for Yahoo. She was hesitant at first because she didn't have luck on Match. But I guess after nagging, she went on. I mean don't get me wrong, there were some serious douche nozzles on Yahoo as well, and I was about to appologize to her for recommending it, but just as she was about to delete her profile and forget about it, Mr. Great and her got in contact, and went out.

He is a wonderful guy, and when I first met him I was grinning ear to ear because I felt that he was just right for her. I think that I have high standards for who I would want for my friends, and this guy meets them. He is polite, and chivalrous. He is very handsome. I laughed when I first saw his pictures, but he looks way better in person than in his photos. He brings her candy ( I ate some) and flowers, tells her she is beautiful, makes her dinner. The thing that I liked hearing most was that when they went exclusive he took down his profile in front of her. I thought that was so nice.

I have never heard her ever talk about another guy the way she talks about him. And when she was talking about him, I got no bad feelings at all in the pit of my stomach. And when I met him, I saw this glow about him and I knew he was right for her.

In the past it was hard to be happy for my friends who were in happy relationships. All I could see were my insecurities, especially since I had a lot of trouble with relationships. As dumb as it may seem, I felt it was God's way of punishing me and rubbing their happiness in my face while I was busy making mistakes.

But now I am a little more confident in myself, as I am starting to see the mistakes I've been making. I have also realized that right now is not the time for me to go out and date. It took me a while to realize that. Because of that, I am able to be genuinely happy for my mama cita, lol. And I think that is a step in the right direction.

It's Funfetti Time, My Babies !!

Hello There My Lovelies,

So I went to hang out with my friend Ashleigh a couple of days ago.
We were just sitting around, watching TV and reminiscing about all the dumb stuff we used to do when I felt a sugar craving coming on. I asked her if she had any junk food. She didn't have any cookies or candy lying around, but she did tell me that she had cake batter.

I looooove cake batter. I would always save a little batter for myself after I put the cake in the oven. But I never had the balls to make cake batter just to eat it.

So she goes to the fridge and pulls out the batter she made in a bowl, and it's Funfetti I think from Duncan Hines, which is my favorite kind too ! She told me she mixes in the batter with oil, but leaves out the eggs, so she doesn't get Salmonella poisoning. I thought that was brilliant ! I wouldn't have thought ahead to leave out the eggs. Part of that is because I think the eggs give it a nicer texture, and honestly, I would've risked getting salmonella for a nicer texture of cake batter. I know that isn't so smart, but you do what you have to, to get a fix sometimes.

Yeah, so we were sitting on her bed, eating the cake batter out of the same bowl with our spoons in hand. We cleaned that bowl, good too. I usually don't share food out of the same bowl, but we were so into the batter we did not give a shit, lol.

Then her boyfriend came over and brought us cookies and peanut butter M&Ms. Good man ! It was the first time I met him, which I will blog about later, but if he was concerned about leaving a good impression with her friend aka Yours Truly, he passed with flying colors.

So after my spoonfuls of cake batter, I had some Pepperidge Farms mint chocolate cookies. Then I went home and felt guilty about it while watching trashy television, aka the new show out there called The Cougar. I will definitely blog about that later as well.

What I was thinking 5 years ago..............

Hello There My Lovelies,

For starters, it is so cold here. Plus it has been very windy. My car swerved a little on the highway because it was so windy.

I've been reflecting a little on my life a little. Below is part of an e-mail I sent to someone I trusted 5 years ago.......

" I am going to Spain on Saturday. In the mean time I have been relaxing here in Austria and doing a lot of thinking. I went to a church in the city and prayed a little. I basically asked God to help me find out what it is in life I should be doing.

I know this sounds stupid, but I don't put all my trust in God. I am scared that what He wants for me is not what I will want. I asked God today to help me trust Him more, because I can't keep thinking that way anymore. You have a very close relationship with God, and I wish I could be closer to Him. "

I wrote that in June 2004. A lot has changed in the past 5 years. Basically, I sought answers in my life over and over. I thought God was punishing me because I didn't get what I wanted quickly. God answered my prayers very slowly, and I had to do the work to get them. Because I wasn't getting fast relief, I felt God had forgotten about me.

Back then I had no idea what it was that even made me tick. I just graduated from college with a degree in business and I felt so uncomfortable. I tried to apply for jobs, and internships, but nothing worked out. I tried to lie and sound confident in interviews, but the interviewers weren't buying it. I got good grades, but I couldn't for the life of me imagine sitting in an office and do marketing based work. I didn't even realy like marketing.

I minored in Spanish and excelled in my Spanish classes and Latin American studies. That was a lot of fun.

It took a few years before I was led down the path of legal studies. But it took a lot of soul searching and failed attempts at other things before I realized it. I took marketing because family told me to take it. I discovered my love for legal studies all on my own.

I was also angry with God because I made mistake after mistake in the dating world and couldn't see what was wrong. The men I were interested in were emotionally unavailable, and I was not interested in men that were attracted to me. I thought that God was punishing me for something, but didn't know what.

One thing God has done for me is taken a proverbial mirror and put it in front of me, so I can see how I haven't commanded the level of respect in men that I deserve. Everyone else can tell you how fabulous you are, but if you don't believe it, no man will. Men have instincts and can pick up what you're putting out there in a quick second. Healthy attracts healthy.

I will write more about my dating past in another journal, but it's still painful to think about. I am still single, but one thing I have learned is that after making the same mistakes over and over, you start to get tired of the pain that it causes you and you start changing. If you're not having luck in dating, stop dating, step back and take a close look at yourself. There is a reason why you keep attracting the wrong people, why people walk all over you, why they're not emotionally available to you. It all comes from the vibe you're putting out there, and how you feel about yourself. If you're emotionally a wreck, you are not going to meet prince charming. Sure, he's being attentive and listening to all your problems now, but he's not emotionally healthy either. He's a rescuer. He's just as insecure about himself as you are and he gets his validation from rescuing the damsel in distress. And when you get stronger emotionally again, that relationship will fall apart.

The biggest thing that changed for me in the course of 5 years is that the person I wrote the e-mail to is no longer someone I trust. I relied on her to tell me about God for years. But in the end, when my bubble was burst it really made me question my beliefs. Her perception of God and mine were completely different. It made me reflect and I had to develop my own beliefs in God again, and that took a lot of time. But at least I didn't lose faith in God.

Speaking of religion, if you want a relationship with God, you need to be willing to do the work yourself. You need to really ask questions and keep most things between you and God. It gets real dangerous when you invite another person to help you develop a relationship with God, because that is their perception. And when they push their beliefs on you, or try to become persuasive, you sort of lose control over your own perceptions and adopt theirs. It is really difficult to know who has your best interests at heart. Priests and people in church are there to encourage you in your path and cheer you on, but when they start doubting what you believe in or start judging you, you shouldn't let that happen.

Anyway, I feel like I've poured my heart out in this entry. It just took me a little more time on Earth to realize that God will give you what you ask for, but in his own time, and only if you are fully committed to receive those answers and are willing to work for the answers.

Ya Feel Me ?

Hello There My Lovelies........

There are two things that have been getting under my skin lately that I feel like blogging about.

1.) Is it just me, or has the level of English in the country gone down ??? In school, the importance of good grammar and spelling was definitely being taught. My teachers were strict about that, and I've attended many different schools growing up.

- I see typos in the newspapers, published books that we pay and arm and a leg for at Borders, typos especially online.

-My supervisors can't seem to grasp simple concepts such as capitalization and proper punctuation. Their e-mails are full of misspelled words. It's so unfair. Why don't I have a better job if many people with crappy writing skills are getting hired ? Educated people still can't differentiate between you're and your, or they're, their and there.

I am tired of seeing the English language mangled. I thought that as a country, we were better than that. It seems like we keep lowering our standards.

And you know what else is sad ? I've probably made a couple of typos myself in this entry and am too lazy to go back and have another look.

2.) I am tired of Lil' Wayne. If you don't know who I am talking about, then you are one of the lucky ones. I see and hear him EVERYWHERE. It's like he's collaborating with every artist out there, and he makes guest performances on their albums. Lady Gaga, Keri Hilson, and a bunch of others I can't remember. He is ruining all the good songs.

Lil' Wayne is a hip hop artist, and I've known about him since he was in a group called Juvenile, which I thought was awesome. I loved all their music.

But now he is solo, and not only is he butt ugly and looks like a rag-doll, but his voice alone is just awful and raspy. I can't believe women would want to bang him.

Anywho, that is all for now. Tootles :)

Happy Easter

Hello There My Lovelies,

Happy Easter ! I got my lazy ass out of bed and went to the church service with my friend, Shira. It was a beautiful service. I wore a brand new dress that was given to me, and I enjoyed looking at the other dresses that the ladies at church were wearing. Full of spring colors.

The sermon was nice, and after I went back to Shira's house, and her parents made a nice Easter lunch: ham, asparagus and rice. It was delish. I haven't seen her nor her parents since last year, and it was nice to catch up. They prayed for me so that I would get a new job.

The weather has been fabulous, and I enjoyed being outside.

Another thing I enjoy about Easter is the Easter candy. I go crazy for Easter candy as well as Easter decorations. I remember when my mom once had an Easter egg hunt for my brother and I when we were really little. We looked for hours for hidden eggs and candies. We also got adorable stuffed animals. My brother held onto that bunny for years.

But my favorite Easter candy, besides the malt eggs, is Peeps. I love the yellow Peeps that are shaped like chicks and bunnies. I don't like it when they color the peeps blue, pink or purple. I am a firm believer that they should only be yellow.

I have not bought any Easter candy this year, only eaten it off the desks of coworkers, or from friends' houses. But I think I will go to the stores tomorrow and start buying the chocolate covered marshmallow eggs (which my friend Ashleigh also goes nuts for) and Peeps. And that is because the stores will be marking them for between %50-75 off.

I know it's cheap to begin with, but I get a thrill off buying something already real cheap that gets discounted further.

Time to let the sugar flow through my veins again.........

Oh, and posting those pictures of Mr. Papi Chulo Eduardo Verastegui was a BAD idea. I keep going back to stare at him. Those lips........ OMG.

If you want to know what gets my blood pumping.....

This is Eduardo Verastegui, who I blogged about a couple of weeks ago. I was not able to post a picture then, but I am now.

There are a lot of beautiful people in Hollywood. But no man in Hollywood gets a reaction out of me like this man. Not only is he some serious eye candy, but he has become a role model in my life. He now produces films and has become very religious, but he is no longer in the Hollywood scene like he used to be. He made some drastic changes in his own life when he was my age (he is a few years older than me), and because of him, I made a couple of my own drastic changes.

Yeah, he is definitely a hottie with a naughty body. He is one of the reasons I am so happy that I learned Spanish. I would rather hear his voice in his native language, much more passionate.

I definitely love me some olive-skinned men.

Eduardo is from Mexico, but the beauty of Latin America is that there are tons of hotties like him in Central America and South America as well, which is a lot of land. When I was in Spain, the Colombians were looking very good !

Okay, time to go do something productive.

New Discoveries....

Hello There My Lovelies,

So today I slept in late as usual and it was fabulosa ! I also finally did my laundry. I feel much better.

It's been about a month since I moved into my current place. It doesn't feel like I just moved. Although I do kinda miss my old living situation a little. I liked the apartment, and my old roommate was about my age. We were total reality TV whores, and would watch the most vapid, shallow reality TV shows together. He respected my privacy and didn't have a buttload of rules for me to follow. We weren't really friends, but I felt that we got along real well as roommates. Here in the Bay Area, landlords or people you rent from usually have a long list of demands. It's hard to find someone that understands the concepts of common sense and mutual respect. If you look on Craigslist a lot of people don't want you to use the kitchen much, if at all. I think it's recockulous. Either that, or they don't allow you to have guests.

I thought that we were going to keep in touch after he flew back to the UK. I e-mailed him, but he didn't respond. I had a feeling that would happen, so I guess filed it into "people you're supposed to meet in your life, but not meant to keep in touch with" category. Especially since he's probably going to end up moving to Australia or Asia. Chances are, I'll never run into him again, so I'm not going to try any harder to keep in touch, especially if he doesn't want to.

What else..........

Today I went to a second-hand store my co-worker recommended where you can find used high-fashion shoes, clothes and bags. It was so nice. I saw a lot of nice things. I don't believe in wearing knock-off goods. Many people do it, and to me its just like wearing any other generic item. I would rather have a real, but used Chanel bag, than a new, fake one. Besides, the fake designer bags are more expensive than any other regular styles. I think that you can score a lot of nice, real items if you are patient and know where to look. People that buy fakes say that no one else has to know it's fake, but if I am wearing a knock off item, I know it's fake. Besides, most fakes aren't even that convincing.

I also wanted to mention that while I am looking for a new job, I am also slowly learning how to solve logic games that are on the LSAT. Those games are hard, and I successfully feel like an idiot. However, if I can learn that and master the concepts early on, I could consider law school down the road, if I ever get bored in my career or want to make more money.

Anywho, tootles for now :)

Contemplations........

Hello There Again My Lovelies,

I wish that I could post pics of my new hairdo, but not only does my digital camera suck balls, but I can't upload any pics from this computer. I get blocked for some reason :( Not a winning combination. I wouldn't tease any of you like that on purpose ;)

I also wanted to start another private blog. This blog is my baby. I've been loyal to it since I started writing in December 2003. I've started a juicy blog about my dating life, but that all came to an end when AOL Blogs decided to close shop. When that happened, I could've transferred it here, but I would've had to make it public while transferring the data. And that definitely wasn't going to happen ! So I just decided to stop writing in it altogether.

Now I would like to start a completely different blog. It would be private, and I would talk about painful experiences of the past. After my last relationship, I got counseling. It did me a world of good, but it was expensive. I felt so much better after, especially since I wasn't expecting that. I was raised against counselors.

I think that writing about it also helps and I think it would do me a world of good if I could have readers that could relate to me or give me insight or advice. Basically, if you are already a reader and you are not my family, just add yourself as a reader. I will also be sending out invites soon.

I will leave the other blog public until I see some readers, then I will make it more private.

The Latest

Hello There My Lovelies,

Sooooo....... I got a new haircut, and my stylist totally hooked me up. She gave me bangs, which I don't think I've had since I was a teen. So I now have layered hair with bangs. Totally in style, and me likey a lot.

My stylist is awesome, and I love my new do. I think it's muy sexy and tres chic. A lot of people have complimented me, and I have been there to accept all compliments with open arms.

I also decided to go on the prowl to see if I could score some designer handbags at ridiculous prices. I found a little shop on the street. It was a small shop called The Recession Shop. Basically the owner scored most of her goods by going to estate sales, as well as friends chipping in and throwing in their stuff. I ended up walking out of there with a nice ruby red Guess bag and a new Aldo handbag.

The lady was real nice, and ended up taking me into another room where more of her valuable items were. She showed me some beautiful old vintage expensive handbags. There was one from Neiman Marcus, and another from the designer who designed Jackie O's handbags, which is now out of business. It was a treat for me.

Anywho, that's all for now.

My Old Man

Hello there again my lovelies,

If any of you think that I have a twisted sense of humor, then you definitely haven't met my dad who I refer to as "my old man". My dad has got to be one of the most colorful people I know. People always describe me as quirky, and I am definitely my father's daughter.

He recently sent me a joke :

"You should go to Denny's. They are offering the Nadya Sulemon Breakfast: 8 eggs, no sausage, and the person next to you pays for it! "

I think it's hilarious when he gets pissed off in traffic. I haven't had the pleasure of riding with him recently, but it's never a dull moment if someone ruffles his feathers on the road.

But my most favorite quote of his is : I wouldn't piss in his mouth if his teeth were on fire !

I am probably embarrassing him right now by sharing all of this, but he makes me laugh and I miss him. I only get to see him once a year since he lives in another state. I did get to see him last month, and it was nice.

I will see him again around the Holiday Season.

Always treasure family members with a sense of humor.

I am a gum whore........

Hello There My Lovelies,

- I bought silver nail polish a few days ago, and I love it. I like how it looks. Right now I have silver fingernails and sparkly red toenails. Me likey a lot.

-I posted my resume on Craigslist along with a generic cover letter in the resume section. I actually got an e-mail response back from a bankruptcy law firm in San Leandro. It said that they are a busy bankruptcy law firm and asked if I would be interested. I wrote back and said hell yeah, bitches ! Well, not really, I was a little bit more professional about it. I have yet to receive a response. I wouldn't be surprised if I never hear back from them again. This has happened to me before where I've gotten contacted, I've responded, only to never hear from them again. If nothing else happens, I am at least happy that I got contacted. It is better to be contacted and things don't work out, rather than to never be contacted at all. At least when you're contacted, you know that your resume is interesting, and that you're qualified. In fact, getting contacted at all in this piss poor economy when you know many people are fighting for the same job is flattering.

I remember my resume a couple of years ago, no one ever called me back. So embarassing. I think that I've come a long way.

I also went back to my internship today. Now that I'm out of school (better than an orgasm) I have time to intern or volunteer. Law firms love it when they see volunteer experience. Plus when you're unpaid it's easier to get references.

What else...... yes... I am sitting here and chewing gum. If gum were crack, I would be a raging crackwhore. It is not beneath me to chew a whole back in one sitting. I can take 5 pieces of bubble gum at once and blow huge bubbles. Sometimes it gets stuck all over my face and hair.

Okay, that's all for now.

Tootles.

Random Happenings in my world

Hello All,

So Today I got a pedicure. Me likey. I now have red, sparkly toes.

I will get a hair cut in a couple of days. Gotta trim the split ends. My stylist is awesome, she always gives me sexy tresses.

I am so frustrated with the job search. I wonder if I will ever really get a legal job, or if all this schooling and working for free was for nothing. This blows.

I was perusing Craigslist today for legal jobs and it's such a joke. They want to pay legal assistants ridiculous wages. Like $10-15 an hour without benefits. My friend said that she went on an interview last year with a lawyer who was trying to get her to work for references in his firm. He wasn't doing pro bono work or serving the community. He was making a profit, but didn't want to pay my friend.

The sucky thing about it, is that he will probably get someone to do it. The really sad thing is, is if I didn't get my internship or volunteer experience, I probably would've said yes too. I still think he is slimy though.

Oh, what else......... yes the lady I live with told me I need to shorten my showers. Apparently I use a lot of water in there. Seriously, I pay rent, I am hardly at home, I haven't done laundry yet and I don't even use the kitchen. WTF??????? When can I just freaking live in peace without people telling me what to do ? Just let me shower and use a little extra water in peace.

I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I hope I will feel better tomorrow.

The X

Hello There My Lovelies,

I normally don't like to talk about my dating experiences or my past relationships up here, but today I am going to.

About a year ago I broke up with my boyfriend at the time. He was my only boyfriend, since I didn't even start dating since I was in my mid-twenties. We were friends for about 8 months before we became a couple. Our relationship lasted a year.

Actually, breaking up was a mutual decision. I never regretted the decision, and to this day I think I did the right thing. He is not a bad person, and didn't cheat on me, or betray me, but he was definitely not the one. Basically he offered me to move across the US with him, and I ultimately said no. Long story, don't want to air out all the laundry up here. But part of the reason was that I was in debt at the time, I was starting my paralegal classes, and couldn't bear to have a man support me at a vulnerable time away from my home state. I wanted to know that I could fully take care of myself. Also, I was just not ready. I also couldn't see myself walking down the aisle with him.

What I didn't expect is the hurt I would feel when he immediately got involved with someone else after. And it hurt bad. The worst part about it, was that hit hit me unexpectedly, especially since this was my first relationship and breakup. I thought that because I didn't want the relationship anymore, that I would be happy for him, and be unfazed.

Not so. When we broke up, even though he traveled over 70% of the time throughout our relationship, I was still emotionally connected to him. I didn't realized that I was so emotionally invested in him, and detaching myself from him was difficult.

We promised to remain friends with each other, and I gave it a try. I don't really believe that one should be friends with their exes after breaking up. Full of ulterior motives. People told me to just cut him off, stop talking to him, but I couldn't do it. I really thought that I could just be friends with him.

Until now, a year later. I no longer wish to remain in contact. I finally realized that my friends were right, and I would've gotten over everything so much faster if I had just ripped the band-aid off faster and dealt with all the pain then and there instead of dragging it out.

The interesting thing is that even though he is about to pop the question, lives with his girlfriend and wants to start a family he still wants to be friends with me. I don't understand it. He says he just wants my friendship, but I don't fully feel that way. I felt that we've still had the same emotional connection we had when we were dating, even though we didn't physically get back together. I no longer want to continue that. I wonder if his girlfriend knows. He says she knows all about me and is comfortable with him still just being my friend, but I don't buy it. And I don't think we were and are "just friends". Everything changes once you've had a relationship with someone.

I told him a bunch of things. He is ten years older than me, so I said that now that he is becoming an old boring married dude that I don't want to hang around him anymore. I also called his girlfriend's dog ugly (not really true) . I also said that his new girlfriend wouldn't like me because I am younger and prettier, and she definitely wouldn't be okay with him hanging out with me when he travels while she is at home. Yeah, it's immature (but people told me it's true), I know it, but the whole point is so that I would offend him and he would get upset and leave me alone. And the thing that shocked me was that he didn't tell me to stop talking about his girlfriend. And he still thinks it's ridiculous that I want to cut off contact. He was upset with me for wanting to cut off contact. He also tried to tell me that most of this was my fault, and that I was the one that promised we would remain friends. And I totally apologized and owned up to that, and said that I was sorry, it was my fault, I shouldn't have tried to stay in contact, but now I don't want to anymore.

I don't think it's fair that he can just hang with me and reminisce about the past and then go back to his gf/fiance and build his life with her and act like nothing happened. I think it's disrespectful to me. I feel like he emotionally made me the "other woman" and I can't stand it.

I guess I am writing this because I thought I was over everything, and that I've completely moved on. And for the most part, I have. But I never realized how much it stings when a past significant other moves on so fast from you and gets involved with someone else. It shouldn't sting, because we would've never worked out, but it does.

This was definitely some valuable dating experience I will be using in the future.

What about you ? Do you all keep in contact with your exes ? Do you wonder how they are doing ?

Things That Annoy Me.......

I was reading a blog where someone described her 10 pet peeves. I agreed with most of hers, and feel that it is time to share mine with you all. Here are some things that just annoy the shit out of me.

1.) People that chew gum with their mouth open so you can smell their breath too.

2.) People that breathe heavily while chewing gum with their mouth open or eating.

3.) People that walk directly behind me when there is clearly enough space for them to back up or walk a few steps to the side.

4.) People that have bad grammar or can't spell. I'm not talking about a couple of mistakes here and there. I'm talking about people that don't capitalize, misspell words, have poor grammar and don't know how to use a period or comma. Usually, they write combining all of the above.

5.)People that look directly at me and ignore me as I say hello and smile at work. I sit at the reception desk at the front door. The CEO always takes the time to smile and say hi. So do all of the executives and their admins. It's always people on the lower part of the totem pole that think it's okay to blatantly ignore the front desk person.

6.) People that drive so slowly, then speed up as they cross the yellow light, leaving me stuck at a loooong red light.

7.) People that don't use their blinkers.

8.) People that ride up on my bumper on the highway, even if I am over the speed limit. If you don't like my speed, move over. But don't ride my ass. I will just slow down and piss you off even more.

9.) People that slow down just to look at an accident on the highway. It slows down traffic, and I think it's rude.

10.) Missbehaved children, especially missbehaved teens in public with parents that won't do a damn thing about it.

11.) Men bashing. In society, male bashing has become more of an accepted practice. All men are lumped into one category of creatures that are unfaithful, deadbeats, and don't know how to satisfy women. The men that are this way don't care, and it only scares away the men that do care.

12.) I am sick of men complaining how women are gold diggers for having salary requirements. It's okay to look for a man that makes as much as you do or a little more. I wouldn't want to financially support a man. I also wouldn't want a man to resent me for making more than he does.

13.) People that are ashamed to be white. I volunteered at a place where many of our clients were Hispanic. One of the volunteers came in all scruffy looking (he went to Stanford) and spoke broken Spanish to everyone, INCLUDING people like me when clearly it isn't our first language. And the clients weren't around. I also had to listen to him talk about how he likes Hugo Chavez (Venezuelan president who hates the USA).

14.) How diet crazed we are in this country, yet most of us are still fat. We will do anything in this society to avoid eating a healthy diet. Diet sodas, diet pills, splenda, not eating bread, avoiding carbs. There are no shortcuts. It basically comes down to exercising and eating a lot of fruits and vegetables.

15.) Comparing leaders that we don't like to Hitler. Seriously, some of our politicians screwed up, but comparing them to a man who ordered millions of people to be killed for being Jewish or Gypsy is just asinine.

Oh, and I forgot to mention one more thing that really gets under my skin......... political correctness.

One thing I can't stand to witness is racism. But I think that we as a society have gone way too far and blow things out of proportion. We've become so afraid to offend someone and as a result have separated ourselves into different categories, instead of uniting ourselves together as Americans.

I am a white person. Go ahead, say it. I won't be offended. It's really not necessary to refer to me as Caucasian. I am white and can deal with it. In fact, I like who I am and am not ashamed of having white skin. I know where my family came from and I'm in touch with my heritage.

If you are African American and I refer to you as black, please don't get mad, because most refer to themselves as black anyway. I think it's interesting that white people from Africa that become American citizens can't be called African-Americans because they aren't black. Charlize Theron falls into this category, but she would be laughed at if she were to try and claim the title.

If you are a janitor, freaking own it. You are not a sanitation engineer. If you work at Subway, you are NOT a freaking sandwich artist. If you want a better title, do something else or finish your college degree.

At my job, they gave me a hyped-up title too. Honestly, I don't dare use it because it sounds ridiculous. Instead of inflating my title, they should think about inflating my pay.

Okay, I think I've said enough for today. Feel free to add in your own in case I missed something.

The Job Search

Hello There My Lovelies,

So I am so happy that my classes are out. I finally got my grade for my last class. I got a B in Advanced Civil Lit. I'm sad that I got no As this quarter. But I was really burned out this past quarter, so I will accept the grades and move on. Now I just need to keep an eye out for my certificate in the mail. I also need to start ordering my cap and gown. It took me two years while working full time to get my paralegal certificate.

I also had a job interview in San Francisco yesterday morning. I woke up early to take BART and realized that I arrived in SF way too early. I got there at 7:30 and my interview was at 10am, so I just killed time walking around. I also went to Starbucks and pleaded them to help me, since I hadn't slept the night before. They gave me a latte with four shots and wished me luck on my interview. After about a half hour of drinking that, I felt the caffeine rushing through my veins.

I interviewed with a legal staffing agency. The lady there was super nice, and it all went well. She said that she loved my resume and my qualifications, but that the economy sucks hairy, dangling moose balls. Well, she didn't really put it like that, but she did say that jobs are very scarce. She used to have to scramble to find people to fill the positions firms offered. Now its the other way around. Now it's gotten so bad that experienced paralegals who are used to making $70,000 are having to settle for way less.

So all I can really do is just apply for every job that I am qualified for, sit back and hope that my phone rings. One thing that bugs me is after I fill out so many applications, and my phone just does not ring. Then I call up people in legal placement agencies to ask if they got my application and they either don't answer the phone or don't even have the courtesy of returning my calls or emails. Kinda like the dating world, almost.

I remember last year when I applied to a position off Craigslist. I got a call back to schedule an interview. I called back, and the attorney never bothered to pick up the phone. I left a few messages after and the receptionist kept giving me some excuse as to why the attorney wasn't in the office. That was frustrating. When I called they couldn't even tell me that the position was filled or they were no longer interested. They just let me call and leave message after message.

Anywho, time to go and fill out more applications. One thing I can tell you for sure, is that it sure feels wonderful to be out of school and have more free time to myself.

So sad.

Hello There My Lovelies,

I got no sleep last night. I have never successfully stayed up for 24 hours in a row before.

Last night as I was on my way home I witnessed a horrible car accident in front of me in the intersection while I was waiting at the red light, to take a left turn. The intersection was huge, and all I remember seeing was a small compact car get slammed by a Lexus SUV. I heard a crash, saw the glass fly and heard screams shortly after. I got out of my car, left my car in the intersection with the emergency lights flashing and called 911. Luckily while a couple of us bystanders were in the intersection, the other cars saw the mess and were understanding and gave us space.

I went over to the small car, and there was a man already standing there with the passenger who was leaning up against the wheel, who was definitely injured. The man was keeping her company and called 911. So I went over to the woman in the SUV who was was visibly shaken and couldn't stop crying. My goal wasn't really to calm her down, rather call 911 and make sure she was alive, breathing and not seriously injured. Luckily her husband came shortly after.

After the firemen arrived, I immediately left. I didn't need to be involved anymore, especially since I didn't pay attention to who ran which traffic light. I saw both cars when they crashed into each other.

I kept replaying the events in my head after I went home. It all happened so fast. You always think that other people will come to the rescue. But this time, I was sitting right in front of it, and sat there for a couple of seconds after not believing my eyes. I looked to my left and the man wasn't on the phone. There was a man running to the car, but the other woman was left unattended. So I ran up to her.

Looking back, I wish I could've talked to her more to calm her down or make her feel better. But I guess I don't feel too bad because the ambulance came real quick and she got the medical attention she needed. I am just glad that I actually stood up and did something about it. Until yesterday, I didn't know what I would've done in a situation like this. I would've had such a guilty conscience if I had simply driven away.

I think that the dispacher was real nice. I was a little flustered and she told me it was okay and kept assuring me that help was on the way.

As I drove back home, everything around me was quiet. Just 10 minutes earlier, it was chaotic. And on my way home at the gas station, it was real peaceful and quiet. It was awkward.

I also feel really lucky that I wasn't the one involved in the crash. It was mayhem. Luckily there was no blood, but the airbags deployed, the windshields were cracked and glass and bumpers were scattered all over the street.

Okay, time to talk about something else.

What's Gonna Happen ?

Hello There My Lovelies,


So I am still waiting on my last grade for Advanced Civil Lit. I am also hoping that my paralegal certificate comes in the mail soon. Having this information would make me feel better when applying for legal jobs.

I also recently found out that I may not have a job in a couple of months or so. Some of our positions are going to be cut, and of course my boss can't say anything. I guess all I can do is:

1.) Cross my fingers and hope that I will keep my job
2.) Keep saving my money
3.) Keep on looking for another job

I've been doing all three. At least I have a heads up.

And of course I will keep you all posted.