From a Female

Hello There My Lovelies,

Okay, so I have been ripping on men and their personals. Don't get me wrong, I know that there are good men out there, and I am not a man hater. But I couldn't help but laugh at the ads I copied and pasted.

One of my readers was curious as to how I would translate female personals.

One gender isn't worse than the other. There are good men and women everywhere. And when there are bad apples, they are both male and female.

Anywho, the ad I copied was from a 29 year old woman, who is attractive in a girl-next door sort of way. Her personal screamed ISSUES, but I am sure many dudes will continue to contact her anyway without reading it.

Here goes....

Hello, I'm looking for Mr. Right..... could that be you? I am a very sensitive person who cries at movies. I WILL BE MAKING YOU TAKE ME TO CHICK FLICKS ALL THE TIME. I am a musical theater major so dramatic and fun and outgoing pretty much describe that aspect of me. TRANSLATION: I DON'T LIKE SPORTS And I am passionate. I have only had 2 "love-of-my-life" guys in my life and am looking for the one who surpasses them. I AM TELLING YOU THIS RIGHT NOW SO THAT YOU KNOW THAT THEY PRESSURE IS ON AND I WILL BE COMPARING YOU TO THESE TWO MEN ALL NIGHT LONG, EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM. I want a friend I can go to Disneyland with TRANSLATION: I WANT CHILDREN, MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING AS WE SPEAK, a boyfriend I can talk to and a lover to cuddle with. I am just a woman looking for Mr. Right,I know he's out there......IN CASE YOU DIDN'T CATCH IT IN MY VERY FIRST SENTENCE M. Right is a prince hidden among commoners. My dream mate SERIOUSLY, WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO COFFEE AND CASUAL CONVERSATION ??? would have to be one that supports me in all I do, even if he doesn't agree with it. SO I WILL ASK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION ALL THE TIME, BUT I WON'T EVER TAKE YOUR ADVICE. AND WHEN I SCREW UP ROYALLY AFTER NOT TAKING YOUR ADVICE I EXPECT YOU TO COMFORT ME AND TELL ME IT'S NOT REALLY MY FAULT. He loves me for me.EVEN AFTER I START TO GAIN WEIGHT ONCEI'VE DATED YOU FOR A WHILE He trusts me. He wants to cuddle in front of the VCR and make out in movie theaters HONEY, DON'T YOU MEAN A DVD PLAYER OR A DVR ??? GET WITH THE TIMES ! (and vice versa as needed). He cannot be allergic to pets, but a non-pet lover is OK. HUH ?? I love heavily, so he must be expecting notes on his car, messages just to say "hi," I WILL STALK YOU and kisses in public places JUST TO SHOW ALL THE OTHER BITCHES THAT YOU'RE MY MAN. PDA is an honor, not a right. Basically he would treat me like the princess I really am. I AM DEMANDING THAT YOU TREAT ME LIKE A PRINCESS BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SELF ESTEEM TO REALLY BELIEVE THAT I AM ONE And he would be treated like my knight in shining armor. I WILL WORSHIP YOU AND PUT YOU ON A PEDESTAL AND HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS OF YOU.