Handsome, educated and can spell.

Hello Again,

So I am supposed to be reading for my class tomorrow, but I am too tired to concentrate on bankruptcy law terms. So instead, I am just going to analyze another ad.

This guy is 46 years old and is quite attractive for his age, even though I think he is too old for me. He is educated, seems well traveled and certainly knows how to write and spell (which I pay attention to). But even if age weren't a factor, I would still avoid him.

For one, he is posing with his shirt off. In not just one, but two pictures. Yes his abs look fabulous, but in one of the pics, he is posing in Hawaii in front of a sunset with a lei around his neck. Way too cliche and overplayed. I know that if I posed in a bikini in a profile, that would be sending out the wrong message.

Anyways, here goes.........

I'm forty-six years into life and must say it's been quite a ride. Wonderful highs in academics, personal relationships, art, sports, and business have been balanced with some bumps in the road. I AM MENTIONING THESE FIVE THINGS WITHOUT BEING SPECIFIC SO THAT YOU THINK I AM ACCOMPLISHED AND WILL BE IMMEDIATELY IMPRESSED. Through it all, I've discovered I have very little fear of failure and a sizeable appetite for experiencing what this "grand game" has to offer. I ACTUALLY DO HAVE FEAR, BUT WILL NEVER ADMIT IT IN FEAR OF LOSING MY MANLY PERSONA.
If you polled those who know me best ONLY I KNOW ME BEST, I believe (and hope) they'd describe me as passionate, soulful, considerate, courageous, conversive (yet verbose OOH, A BIG WORD at times), insightful, affectionate, resilient, creative, humorous, analytical, sharply dressed, hedonistic PAY ATTENTION, I AM DRESSING UP THIS RED FLAG IN A BIG WORD SO YOU'LL BE CONFUSED INTO THINKING IT'S A GRAND TRAIT, goofy or serious (depending on the situation), friendly, diverse, a renaissance man. I INCLUDED 17 ADJECTIVES, SO YOU BETTER THINK I AM SOMETHING SPECIAL.

What am I interested in? Classical music (particularly Chopin), the arts MEANING WHAT ?, athletics (former college football player)AGAIN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WAS SOMETHING BACK IN THE DAY, AND I WISH I WAS STILL IN MY TWENTIES, books (especially global economics and matters of the human condition IS HUMAN CONDITION CODE FOR TANTRIC SEX BOOKS ?), antiques, Alexander Valley wines, and the human race (i.e our individuality IS the difference!THAT IS A BULLSHIT LINE, BUT I HOPE YOU BOUGHT IT BECAUSE I AM VERY HORNY RIGHT NOW). Music wise, I actually lean in many directions (except Country)I THOUGHT YOU JUST MENTIONED CLASSICAL. I'm a bit of an information nut. Read the newspaper every morning in a local independent coffee YOU SHOULD BE IMPRESSED THAT I DON'T GO TO STARBUCKS house while bouncing in and out of a Blackberry NOTICE I LOVE MY GADGETS THAT MY MONEY BUYS. I think gadnets are really cool. I WILL PAY MORE ATTENTION TO MY BLACKBERRY THAN YOU IF WE GO OUT Can't imagine my two careers I WON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU, AND I'LL EXPECT YOU TO SUPPORT ME (and life in general) without the aid of technological advancements. BY NOW YOU SHOULD GET THE HINT THAT I HAVE MONEY AND FLASH IT IN THE FORM OF GADGETS. I also think I've developed a decent knack for figuring out what makes people tick. Guess you could say I'm pretty observant. I'M SO OBSERVANT THAT I CAN TELL THAT I GOT YOU WET JUST READING MY PROFILE Maybe photography helps one polish this skill. I JUST HAD TO TOSS IN ONE MORE TALENT TO CONVINCE YOU I'VE GOT IT ALL.
The path of my life involves a constant crossover between urban sensibilities and mountain/ocean tranquility ... ISN'T THAT MOST OF THE POPULATION ANYWAYS ? which explains why you may have difficulty boxing me into any certain category or persona based on a particular set of descriptives. That said, I've been told I don't resemble the typical banker IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THAT I HAVE MONEY WHEN I TALKED ABOUT MY ELECTRONIC GADGETS, I AM TELLING YOU I'M A BANKER SO IT REALLY SINKS IN. I don't really give that much thought considering I'd never wish for that career to define me anyway THAT'S A LIE, MY CAREER DEFINES ME BECAUSE WITHOUT IT AND MY MONEY I WOULDN'T FEEL WHOLE. I'm not really status quo and I tend to blend into situations as I see fit.

Who do I wish to meet? Well, I hope you have a decent balance between book and street smarts. If you know a little bit about a lot of things, that would be wonderful. This makes for meaningful conversation. Hopefully you're ambitious, graceful, globally aware SORRY, I'VE DATED REPUBLICANS AND I DON'T DRIVE A PRIUS, and showcase a wicked sense of humor DOES THIS TRANSLATION OF YOUR AD COUNT ?. Are you warm and caring? The empathetic type? Thoughtful? Do you wish for someone else's difficult situation to be better? YES, I WISH YOU WOULD FINALLY GET LAID SO YOU COULD TONE ALL THIS DOWN even if it means adjusting your busy schedule to accommodate? If so, I very much respect you for that.

I'd most definitely wish for there to be chemistry and mutual physical attraction between us. YOU MUST BE HOT. You know, that connection that's electric and quite intoxicating. BECAUSE WE WILL BE DOING A LOT OF BANGING. Are you fashionable without appearing to work that hard at it? Style--- some just have it. Maybe that describes you? Do you understand what it means to feel? Do you connect deeply with others? Cold, inconsiderate people really turn me off. I SAY THAT BECAUSE I CAN BE COLD AND INCONSIDERATE AND DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE I'M LOOKING IN THE MIRROR so do people who scream at each other. MY EX GIRLFRIEND AND I USED TO GET INTO SCREAMING MATCHES. How disrespectful. Emotional intelligence can be so grossly misunderstood. AND THIS MADE ME WANT TO HAVE A GROSS BOWEL MOVEMENT.
All things considered, I subscribe to this point of view---- We come into this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing. BASICALLY I AM WEAVING THIS AD OUT OF NOTHING, AND I WILL END UP GETTING NOTHING. All the more reason why the relationships we forge along the way are what matter most.

Appreciate you for making it all the way to the bottom line. Your endurance is quite admirable! OOH THE ACCOMPLISHED MAN RESPECTS ME ! Maybe we have what it takes to click? Time's ticking. Be well.