Monday, August 24, 2009

Douche Bag Tag



Good Morning My Furry Felines..............

I found this treasure on Yahoo Personals. I know, I know, shockingly he is single. I read his profile first, but when he saw my "profile" he responded, lol. His description is fantabuslously douchey, as well, but first things first..............

1.) This man is NOT a chick, so why is he wearing Mardi Gras beads AND earrings ? I guess he was guilty of flashing his man boobs, or as we like to say, moobies.

2.) What's up with the kissy face ? I know high school chicks do that shit on myspace to make their lips look bigger (which is annoying), so what is his excuse ? He also looks like he's wearing lip gloss.

3.) Let's discuss the facial hair. If you guys ever consult Urban Dictionary, a chin patch like his would be known as the "douche bag tag". I have a lot to say about his chin hair. He's got the partial chin strap going on under his chin, probably in an attempt to hide that double chin. Cuz if you cover it with hair, no one will know it's there ! But the thing I really find offensive is the landing strip he gave himself on his chin. Basically, he turned his chin into a vagina. You know what else Urban Dictionary would call something like that ? A "pussy tickler". Which you can bet he is trying to put to use.

What else............it says on his profile that he has children, but not living at home with him. So he already punished us all with little versions of himself. At least he is not raising them and teaching how to shape their facial hair.

Here is what he has to say on his profile ladies..........

This is the hard part....... Well im a six foot male with a large muscular frame but not a "MEAT HEAD" Im very passionate and affectionate and would like the same in a woman.I have a saying, " GIRLS ARE EASY TO FIND BUT A "WOMAN" IS NOT SO EASY TO FIND" I feel that chemistry is instant! well when you meet in person because here online is one dimensional, you dont quite get someone's personality just by reading whats on the screen.So what im looking for is the "WOW" factor!So im here to give it a try... e-mail me if you wanna chat.. P.S. IM NOT A GYM RAT!

Yeah, I definitely got the "WOW" factor, but as in a wow, I would utter after witnessing a train wreck.

Large muscular frame ? LOL.

Yeah, he doesn't have to tell us he's not a gym rat, I think we knew. The double chin gave that away.

Okay so that is all for now my little furballs....................

Un Beso !

7 comments:

CMC said...

OMFG - I have tears-TEARS! from laughing so hard at this! I wasn't even able to finish! I lost it when I came to this: "So he already punished us all with little versions of himself." ROFLMAO ROFLMAO! Owwww - it hurts! Stop it please - this shite is TOO effing funny!

Liam said...

Well I think you have torn that dude to shreds.

Danielle said...

I was just making fun of my 16 year old step sister for this exact look. EVERY single picture she takes is of her making the kissie wink face. It's bad enough on a 16yo girl.

MindyMom said...

OMFG! What a gem and you have him totally pegged. Nice one.

Angela said...

Also das war bisher das witzigste was Du geschrieben hast! So habe ich schon lange nicht mehr gelacht!

Und sag mal, warum bist Du nicht mehr auf AIM oder IM? Ich vermisse Dich und unsere conversationen.....

Alsdann, tausend Bussi!

* Ashleigh * said...

haha oh this guy, I remember this prize! I swore I saw him at my work and nearly pissed my pants. Yes he does look this DOUCHY in person!

Paint Boy calls the landing strip a "soul patch". HAHA

Big Mark 243 said...

Wow ... what a loser ... beyond my words of contemplation ...