Thursday, August 20, 2009

Negative Nancy Looks For A Man...............

Good Morning My Furry Felines !

Time for a "shelation" ! I've been reading the Craigslist ads for women looking for men. Entertaining, might I say. Here in my area of San Jose, or as we call it, Man Jose, the women are outnumbered by men. Which does allow the chicas to be more picky. No matter what you say in your profile, you will attract a man just by stating that you are a female. In my pictureless Yahoo profile, I listed that I was unemployed, large (not just by "a few extra pounds", that I loved to smoke and drink, and that I was looking for an athletic man. And I got a few replys back just for me looking at their profile. Granted, they were old and fat, but still, they were interested.......

One dating foul I often see from women is making every excuse in the book as to why a guy didn't like her or want to go out with her, which doesn't involve her or the dating fouls she committed.

"He's just so intimidated by me."
"He couldn't handle my bluntness"
"He just couldn't keep up with me"
"He wasn't man enough for me"


I have learned that if a man is serious about being with you, he will pursue you. He will seek you out, ask you out, and meet all the requirements you have if they are that important to you. If he doesn't then he is simply not your man.

I know times have changed and there are different view points on this. But no matter how "progressive" we've come, I just refuse to think otherwise.

Okay my kittens, time for me to get off the soap box and present the "shelation"

Title: Looking for a man who is not intimidated by me (32 y/o)
I want a man that doesn't run when I tell him I slashed my ex's tires

Please read before going any further: If you do not like a woman that is very blunt & honest, please don't read any further to prevent yourself from being offended or thinking I am one mean mouthed woman, which I am not. I am just upfront about everything, which personally I think is by far better trait than a liar. Some men on here tend to perceive me incorrectly because I am upfront & honest. If you are still intrigued then please continue on... Basically, hunny bunny, I am a foul mouthed bitch who doesn't hold back. I will tell you everything in the name of honesty: How moody and bloated I am from PMS, how the woman you just checked out is fugly, and I will nag you to do the dishes. Also, you should know that this applies to the bedroom as well. I will laugh at your small penis, and make fun of you if you can't properly finish me off.

I am searching for a man in every way possible, looks, personality, disposition, work ethics and yes sexually you must have a big schlong... alot to ask for, but thats what I want. I want you to worship me for the goddess that I am. I also seek a man I can see, so if you don't have a pic or offer me one, please don't send me an email promising me the world and the best sex ever, I like to see who I am emailing and whom I just might end up being intimate with somewhere down the road. See, I haven't posted your picture either so I want you to send me yours first. That way I can reject you first, without facing any rejection from you...

I am a very outgoing person who needs a man to keep up with me, in and out of the bedroom. I may be crazy, but it's the crazy ones who give better sex. I am a outdoor and indoor person so if you prefer staying indoors all day playing video games & watching SpongeBob, I doubt we will be compatible. Okay, WTF type of man watches Spongebob ??? I am looking for a man who is the package deal...not just below the belt either, I want a man who is intelligent beyond the bedroom Wait, men were "intelligent" in the bedroom ? Like did her ex talk about the Pythagorean Theorem while he flipped her over ?. IF you are still harboring feelings for your ex, please don't decide to toy with me, Think about it, they are your EX for a reason. Basically sugar pie, I still think about my ex who cheated on me, and will compare you to him. I can't have you do the same to me. I have zero tolerance for players and games, so if that is what you are looking for, Milton Bradley has several to choose from, but I am not one of them. Oooh, name dropping.... what a comedian......

Also if you don't have intentions of meeting in person then please pass me by basically sweet cheeks, when men realized how rude I was, the bailed, so don't bail on me and hurt my ego, and no I won't meet you in your bedroom for our first meeting, after we meet in a public place, if we are both attracted to one another, then who knows what might happen. I say I'm not a slut, but I can be I am a very blunt person so if that offends you, I apologize haha, no I don't and I am definitely not for you which is the first real truthful thing I've said here. I am also disease free don’t want any either! If I use the exclamation point, maybe you will listen......

I hate liars, cheaters, egotistic ***holes, and players. Again, sorry if I sound harsh, but I know what I want, what satisfies me. Basically, I scared off all the good ones, so I ended up attracting the ones with less than honorable intentions who stuck around to play with me.


CMC said...

ROFLMAO!!!!! You are hysterical! I love your shelations!

"I will laugh at your small penis, and make fun of you if you can't properly finish me off." - (> <) - hahahahhaha!!!!

Loving Annie said...

"I have learned that if a man is serious about being with you, he will pursue you. He will seek you out, ask you out, and meet all the requirements you have if they are that important to you. If he doesn't then he is simply not your man."

Absolutely true.

One thing that really matters when talking about honesty - is being honest with yourself as well. In every facet of behavior, habits, choices, patterns, etc.

This woman sounds like the walking wounded in her ad, with very little idea - if any - of what being really honest is.

A very unaware person, struggling for someoen she'll be very unlikely to attract.

Danielle said...

My husband watches Sponge Bob.

Danielle said...

You didn't offend, I actually was agreeing with you. Seriously, what kind of man watches Sponge Bob? I thought it was funny and it made me laugh to think that I married someone like that. Seriously I was NOT offened just humored. :) :) :)

Angela said...

Priceless! Perhaps there is good income to be had by offering these people to write their ads as they really should be written??

You would make a good psychiatrist....

Scarlet said...

"The package deal"...not just below the belt. Ha!

You've just described most of the single women in Miami...cynical and blunt to the point that they're offensive.

You should see the Family Law cases I get; 9 times out of 10 it's the guys I feel bad for.