Sunday, August 16, 2009

I am not like the other guys..............

Hi Kittens ! Meow !

Manslation time kitties ! Below is just a sample of what Craigslist has to offer......... As usual my "manslations" are in bold.

Title: I'M NOT GONNA BULLSHIT YOU LIKE THE REST OF THESE LOSERS ON HERE......
If I tell you I want to bang you, you should bang me because I am being honest.

I'm bored I am tired of jerking off all day. I'm at home unemployed, I don't have enough money to go out tonight shocker !, and I'm horny as hell since my hand and the free porn sites are getting old. I'm tall, white, good looking any Asian chicks interested ?, have a nice sized cock yeah baby, I said "cock" you know I'll treat you like a lady, and know how to make a girl feel good. I don't have any gross diseases herpes isn't that gross, and I don't plan on getting any the truth is, I don't really care if I do. If you want to come over, we can meet somewhere in public first at a local park, just so you feel safe I'll shake your hand in public and grope you in the confines of my house, and know that I'm not some psycho loser or anything like that.... then we can go back to my place, get tipsy off of some cocktails we'll be raiding my dad's liquor cabinet, and have some really good, fun sex maybe in my parents room to be adventurous. It's your choice. You can either go out, have a boring night, go home frustrated and play with your clit until you make yourself cum at least you will achieve a guaranteed orgasm... or you can have a night of fun sex with a cool, fun, sexy guy like me no guaranteed orgasm. No strings attached... but if you end up liking me and want to come back for more... cool. Fine with me but babe, I will have to kick you out before midnight, as my parents will be coming home. Whatever makes you happy. Email me and we can exchange cell numbers and get to know each other a little first... so you're more comfortable. Cool?


While I was reading this dude's profile, I couldn't help but imagine him singing the following lyrics to me:

I have a present for you right here
Actually it's not a present, it's my penis

And they call it the spear
Because spears are long and hard just like my penis

I don't want to hear you talk
Because that just means you're not sucking my co**

Love is for girls and gays
If you wanna get with me it goes one of both ways

Either you have sex with me
Or you can have sex with me................

I can't take credit for those lyrics, as they come from Jon Lajoie, my favorite internet comedian.

So what have we learned here my little furballs ?

If you want to get with a girl, give her some options. She has to chose one. So it seems like she has freedom, when in reality, you get what you want. Smart, eh ? ;) ;)

That is all for now my fierce felines, more to come later.................

Besitos !

7 comments:

Angela said...

Don't people have any class these days? Why not just hire a hooker for goodness sakes.

Thanks my dear for making me roll on the floor again....I laughed so much my head hurt....

PorkStar said...

i still dont understand why these fools still post this kind of crap on CL...

Annoying assholes.

Funny post though. : )

Senorita said...

Mom: I am sure he wishes he could hire a hooker, but he's broke and can't afford one. So therefore, he hopes some skank off Craigslist will play with his man parts. What does he have to lose by posting ?

Porkalicious baby, men post these ads because it's a numbers game. Eventually someone will fall for it. Don't tell me that you as a man don't know that. You know that if you hit on enough women you will get lucky. I've heard your stories........

LYN said...

THESE ADS ARE TOO FUNYY..
DID YOU SEE THAT BIG POPPA HAS BEEN EXPOSED??...HE AIN'T ALL THAT AFTER ALL...

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Crazy!!! lol

CMC said...

You are a funny funny chica! I'm digging your blog!

Loving Annie said...

What a total jerk that guy was. shudder. ick.
how can any woman be so brainless as to respond to it ? Never mind. I know someone will - and end up asking her friends why he turned out to be a jerk, like she didn't know from the beginning....