If You're Broke and Horny, Then I'm Your Man

Hello Again My Lovelies,

I found this ad on Craigslist. It cracked me up. I thought I would put my "translations" in bold letters.

Here is just a sample of what you can find here in the SF Bay Area:

Attractive UPSCALE BENEFACTOR seeking the Right Girl

I'm young, but extremely successful and accomplished So successful I'm looking for pootang on Craigslist. I'm 30 (True Age I'm 39 ), white, very attractive so my mom says/sexy, tall, good shape plump, green eyes, and get a lot of attention from the opposite sex if I pay enough. I'm also charming, intelligent, witty, easy to talk to, and have a great sense of humor blah blah blah. I don't enjoy hook-ups or one night stands, but also don't want anything serious or with much expectation I want to get my swerve on, but don't want to work hard for it. I work in real estate development I'm a part time real estate agent, and I haven't made money in this economy and spend a lot of time traveling in my pursuit for more poon. I work hard when I'm on the road, so looking for someone fun to spend some time with here. Ideally I'd like to find someone who will benefit from having a generous & fun friend generous and fun with my penis, and who is also not looking for anything serious. I want to spend time with someone when I'm in town I'm actually married, I thought I told you (I will show you an amazing time not really). I am an extremely good catch for this sort of relationship (the kind of guy who you'd want to spend time with anyway). I am very supportive and enjoy mentoring as well I try to rescue you and then tell you what to do. I will be Very generous not financially anyway with the right girl. Please send a picture or 2 and intro if interested.