Thursday, July 2, 2009

I'm not your normal douche bag, I swear !

Hi Lovelies,

Manslation time ! As usual, my "manslations" are in bold.

If any of you are on a dating website and are curious as to how Yours Truly would read an ad you came across, feel free to pass it along to me, and I will tell you what I honestly think.

When I was online, I used to have a blast at reading between the lines. Especially when they were accompanied by pictures.

I know it seems like I pick on all guys online, but I really don't. I've had great dates thanks to the intertubes. Good guys do exist and they are out there. Speaking of good single men, ladies, my dad is single, intelligent, and has a wicked sense of humor................ Oh yeah, and he also has a Harley. Get at him ladies, lol.

I can't believe I just pimped out my own father.

Anywhore, here is the ad du jour........................

Title: I am not your normal guy...... - 37 (santa clara)

Reply to: pers-ysefj-1244668496@craigslist.orgDate: 2009-06-28, 9:57PM

1. I don't want to sleep with you ASAP but I will start groping after a couple hours in fact you will probably push the issue before me Reverse psychology is the oldest trick in the book that is best reserved for young twenty-somethings. Thats not to say i dont like kissing and touching and teasing.. I very much dig them. But the sex sex sex is for when we are pretty damn comfortable with each other. WTF is sex sex sex ? Like boom boom boom or bang bang bang ?

2. I will test you. Your values. Your beliefs. Your goals. I expect you to test mine. I am an asshole.

3. Please be a nice human being. Please put up with what I am about to put you through.

4. Please enjoy exercising. No fatties ! Its a lifetime activity and if you dont like it now, life at 60 is going to suck! :-) Whats up with stupid smiles like that after doling out unsolicited wisdom ? Hey, fuck you ;) If you want to know more, knock on my door and i will let you in... a bit at a time. I want to know everything about you, but you don't get to know everything about me.


Angela said...

Nothing like a good laugh to get you through the day.....

I wish the weirdos posting their ads could see your interpretations......

* Ashleigh * said...

#4 made me nearly cry from laughter!

Scarlet said...

LOL - The title is perfect for this guy...if we're being sarcastic.

Sex sex sex?? What's that all about?? What's all of it about?? What woman would go for this shit??

Jimmy's Journal said...

What a sad sack....But, I do thank guys like him for making the roads to decent relationships easier by eliminating the assholes.