Friday, July 24, 2009

Men aren't the only ones.......

Hi Kittens,

So I've been picking on men with them and their personals. It doesn't mean that women don't commit the same unspeakable offenses in their personals. Its just that I am a straight woman, and I think I have a better read on male personals due to my own dating experiences.

Anywhooch, my dad (gotta love my old man) sent me an "about me" section of a female from POF, aka Plenty of Fish, which is also a free site. I've been so busy perusing the Craigslist ads that it didn't even occur to me to mosey on over to POF.

I would like to point out that women should have standards, and that there is nothing wrong with wanting a man that has a job and can provide, especially if she is going to have children and take care of them and the house. That's not gold digging.

But on the other hand, I also believe that if women have high standards, then they better bring something special to the relationship as well. It goes both ways. If she wants a fit man, then she better be bringing a fit body into the relationship. If she wants a man to take care of her, and worship her, then she should be prepared to treat him like a king as well.

So the ad is below, with my "shelation" in bold. Notice that her ad was all about her and her wants, but she could not elaborate on how she would make him happy.

Without further ado.............................

I'm interested in a serious relationship with a man that can take care of me mental, emotional I cry a lot even at Kodak ads, financial I have a job now, but I won't work in the relationship, and physically I hope you have a large penis (I've always wanted to jump into a mans arms that could actually catch me without either of us getting injured so you must really be strong because I'm a huuuuge bitch). You need to be in a secure place in your future goals and retirement because I want to live off your retirement, which includes someone like me entitlement whore in your life. I think it is important for a man to be in decent physical shape and always shaven keep your manberries manscaped (no wire bristles against my face/skin nether regions). Through my history I've always taken care of others and their needs and wants, now I want someone to take care of mine basically honey cakes, I'm not used to standing up for myself. I've always let my ex husbands walk all over me. I dressed them, cooked for them, finished them off every morning only for them to run off with the secretaries. So if I tell you how fabulous I am and demand that you worship me, maybe I can convice myself I am worth more than I think I am. I am very considerate, passionate, humorous at times, generous, serious worker, excellent cook, and other qualities blah blah blah and could make the right man very happy. I have set my standards a bit high because I am entitled for someone like you, out there in POF LOL, but it's my turn to be pampered and spoiled. So if your wanting someone to treat like a "queen", I could be that person. PLEASE, if you don't respond to me, wanting to worship me for the goddess that I am, then I won't feel validated.

4 comments:

Big Mark 243 said...

You know what, I think I am going to write my OWN personal ad, and let you 'translate' it for me, and see what I am 'really' saying when I think I am saying something else!

Angela said...

Finally! The historic day has come when you did a "She-lation". (not to self: mark this down on your calendar.)

It's a gem and you are doing just as hilarious a job as you are doing with the other gender. Love the fun!

Loving Annie said...

Busted her pretty good.
If you want something, it is VERY important that you have it to offer in return. Good point, Senorita.

PorkStar said...

hahaha that was awesome... hit the nail right on the head once again...

I'm sure whoever responds to it he's either going to be in for a treat, or simply... just wants to get laid.

In this case i vote for the latter.