Saturday, May 30, 2009

Have men become the new women ?

ABOVE: Total douchebag hair.
BELOW: Mankini. Fashion designer Alexander McQueen's mankini on left, Borat on right.

Hello My lovelies,

So I ask you...........have men become the new women ? I sure think so. I am not talking cross dressers, transexuals or the gay men that are feminine. That is totally different. I am talking about heterosexual men here. (Let me include a little disclaimer here: Many men still aren't like this, rather what I am writing about seem to be disturbing growing trends in my opinion.)

Please allow me to elaborate. Some of the following worlds have managed to creep into our vernacular.

1.) Mankini- A bikini for men. Thanks to Sasha Cohen in the movie Borat, men have been spotted wearing the godforsaken thing. Because of Borat, Alexander McQueen made his own debut of the mankini in Milan. In fact my mother saw this suit in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago during Bay to Breakers. She was shocked out of her mind. I tried to explain the movie Borat to her. That was useless.

2.) Heavage- "He" and "cleavage". Need I say more ? Those two words not not equal a winning combination. This is used when men wear their shirts buttoned down to the extreme, usually at a club. So not sexy. Makes me want to dry heave.

3.) Manties- "man" and "panties". I don't even want to go there.

4.) Moobs - "man" and "boobs". When men gain weight and it looks like they've developed little bitty titties. Why even feminize it ? How about saying your chest is fat or getting off your ass and going to the gym so it doesn't look like you have boobies. Ever think of that ?

5.) Bromance- "Bro" and "romance". A special male bond. A strong friendship between two heterosexual men. Why not be gay lovers ? Here is an idea. Why not just call it a "friendship" or say "he's my bro". The same words we've been using for generations. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Okay, so I've covered the new vocabulary, so let's move onto the new grooming rituals men have undertaken.

1.) Nailpolish. I don't care if you're in a rock band and the polish is black. It's still paint on your nails. Me no likey.

2.) Eyeliner. WTF???? I don't care if Bret Michaels did it back in the 1980s. Bret Michaels is a dirty man tool. Besides, it hasn't been okay to look like that for the past twenty years.

3.) Douchebag hair. Please see below for elaboration. Excessively styled hair, created using loads of chick hair products and a straightening iron. For more douchebag hair ideas, please feel free to visit

4.) While we are at it, douchebag facial hair. Take for example, the soul patch. If you don't know what that is, think of it as a man with a landing strip on his chin, which is also known as a "pussy tickler" or a "douchebag tag." For further reading, I offer you the following. I found it to be hilarious.

5.) Men who wax their eyebrows, chest or back. Men who get manicures, men who get pedicures. In a female salon. I want to be at the salon gossiping with the manicurist about all my lustful ideas without another man there.

Now we've covered the grooming, let's move on to the new habits men have picked up.

1.) Being asked out by women. Making the woman call him. Men are so afraid of rejection that they are no longer willing to be a man and ask a woman out. That's how mating has worked for as long as mankind has been around. I've had guys tell me it's flattering when a woman asks them out. Of course it is. But that's all it is, is flattery. The man usually ends up resenting the woman because he didn't "earn" her, and doesn't respect her as much as if he had been pursuing her. I've seen it happen and it has happened to me.

2.) Making the women pay on the date or going dutch, saying they don't want golddiggers. I pay my bills and I refuse to discuss my finances or allow a man to financially help me out until we're married. But I believe a man should pay for dinner if he asks me out. That is not golddigging. That is making sure my date is a gentleman, and not stingy.

3.)Not proposing to a woman, or waiting for the woman to propose to him. Marriage is not for everyone. I respect that. But many men ask women to move in with them and then don't want to marry them. If the woman is okay with that, that's fine. But usually, that's not the case. Usually the woman is hoping he will propose.

Maybe I am a little sexist. Maybe I am a little closeminded. But I prefer the men I date to be more manlike. I am the female here. I love a man who is like a hunter, who believes in the thrill of the chase in dating, and who believes in chivalry. A man who likes a cold beer, hangs out with his guys, plays sports and has another hobby like fishing or motorcycle riding. I don't want a man that bellydances. I like a man with rough hands, with some facial hair, with hair on his chest and back. That is why I am attracted to the opposite sex, because he is opposite of me.


Big Mark 243 said...

This was a good post. The HCWDB's blog had me DYING!

I haven't had a pedicure in years ... same with a manicure. Don't hate having a little maintenence done!! Men with claws are tacky!!

Man Boobs = Chesticles

As far as the dating goes, I am in semi-agreement on that. I think that it is up to an individual couple how they handle the finances for the date. For instance, if I suggest a date with AKA, I will also let her know up front about the cost and why.

For instance, sometimes, some of the nicer restaurants have deals, and I will let her know that I want her to come with me. That is my dime.

If she is insistent on a place, then I have not a problem letting her know that it is out of my range and that is primarily why I wouldn't want to accompany her, WHETHER IT IS HER TREAT OR NO.

When she does 'treat' or we have decided to go 'dutch', it still has to be with economic considerations.

I do think that nowadays, with women having earning power, that it is no longer about chivalry when it comes to dating. Even if a cat is on a higher pay grade, it is only being considerate if a woman plans and handles the occasional date.

For me, she could make dinner (that is, if she can cook ... a lot of girls are NOT good cooks!) in lieu of a date on the town. See, while there are others who see themselves as being 'traditionalists', it is also as inconsiderate as a man expecting a woman to put out when he spends a certain amout of money on a date or gift.

I don't have 'rough hands', but I have never thought that was an accurate indicator of mansculinity. Same as a woman who has a nice hair style being indicative of her femininity. I will admit that this is a trend that is growing, and makes some of the old standards obsolete.

Being open to what is BEST is different from sacrificing for the sake of a trend. Again, hangin' with AKA, I do 'man stuff' for the sake of doing it, not because it is 'in me' to do it. I think that as long as someone shows the willingness to do what needs to be done, then you can make an allowance for them.


Senorita said...

Hi Mark,

I agree that it is up to the individual couple of how they handle the finances, or anything for that matter. I am talking about me, and how I see it.

I also don't think rough hands is an indicator of masculinity. It's just that I don't expect a man to have smooth skin, that is all, in the way that men expect women to have smooth skin.

I also believe that women should know how to cook. It's not sexist. We have the babies, we should know how to properly nourish them. Many don't and I am among those, and I plan on taking more classes.

Just because I earn my own salary does not mean that I am no longer entitled to date a man who doesn't believe in paying for a date.

Big Mark 243 said...

Yeah, like everything else, a person needs to make what works for them, work.

Whenever I talk about my friend Nebraska, I will put it out that we are FRIENDS - NO BENEFITS. It comes down to the 'fine print', because she has specific ideals about her dates/partners that while not offensive, does rule me out, according to MY ideals.

I am always surprised at the lack of common courtesy expected on both sides of the equation. Like the sites you posted, there is far too much leeway given to the 'douchebags' and the 'gold diggers' (who are wanna be sack chasers), which make it difficult on those in the middle.

Kinda like how the economy is working!!