Have men become the new women ?

ABOVE: Total douchebag hair.

BELOW: Mankini. Fashion designer Alexander McQueen's mankini on left, Borat on right.

Hello My lovelies,

So I ask you...........have men become the new women ? I sure think so. I am not talking cross dressers, transexuals or the gay men that are feminine. That is totally different. I am talking about heterosexual men here. (Let me include a little disclaimer here: Many men still aren't like this, rather what I am writing about seem to be disturbing growing trends in my opinion.)

Please allow me to elaborate. Some of the following worlds have managed to creep into our vernacular.

1.) Mankini- A bikini for men. Thanks to Sasha Cohen in the movie Borat, men have been spotted wearing the godforsaken thing. Because of Borat, Alexander McQueen made his own debut of the mankini in Milan. In fact my mother saw this suit in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago during Bay to Breakers. She was shocked out of her mind. I tried to explain the movie Borat to her. That was useless.

2.) Heavage- "He" and "cleavage". Need I say more ? Those two words not not equal a winning combination. This is used when men wear their shirts buttoned down to the extreme, usually at a club. So not sexy. Makes me want to dry heave.

3.) Manties- "man" and "panties". I don't even want to go there.

4.) Moobs - "man" and "boobs". When men gain weight and it looks like they've developed little bitty titties. Why even feminize it ? How about saying your chest is fat or getting off your ass and going to the gym so it doesn't look like you have boobies. Ever think of that ?

5.) Bromance- "Bro" and "romance". A special male bond. A strong friendship between two heterosexual men. Why not be gay lovers ? Here is an idea. Why not just call it a "friendship" or say "he's my bro". The same words we've been using for generations. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Okay, so I've covered the new vocabulary, so let's move onto the new grooming rituals men have undertaken.

1.) Nailpolish. I don't care if you're in a rock band and the polish is black. It's still paint on your nails. Me no likey.

2.) Eyeliner. WTF???? I don't care if Bret Michaels did it back in the 1980s. Bret Michaels is a dirty man tool. Besides, it hasn't been okay to look like that for the past twenty years.

3.) Douchebag hair. Please see below for elaboration. Excessively styled hair, created using loads of chick hair products and a straightening iron. For more douchebag hair ideas, please feel free to visit http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

4.) While we are at it, douchebag facial hair. Take for example, the soul patch. If you don't know what that is, think of it as a man with a landing strip on his chin, which is also known as a "pussy tickler" or a "douchebag tag." For further reading, I offer you the following. http://www.dubious.nu/wp/goodies/articles/how-to-be-a-douchebag/ I found it to be hilarious.

5.) Men who wax their eyebrows, chest or back. Men who get manicures, men who get pedicures. In a female salon. I want to be at the salon gossiping with the manicurist about all my lustful ideas without another man there.

Now we've covered the grooming, let's move on to the new habits men have picked up.

1.) Being asked out by women. Making the woman call him. Men are so afraid of rejection that they are no longer willing to be a man and ask a woman out. That's how mating has worked for as long as mankind has been around. I've had guys tell me it's flattering when a woman asks them out. Of course it is. But that's all it is, is flattery. The man usually ends up resenting the woman because he didn't "earn" her, and doesn't respect her as much as if he had been pursuing her. I've seen it happen and it has happened to me.

2.) Making the women pay on the date or going dutch, saying they don't want golddiggers. I pay my bills and I refuse to discuss my finances or allow a man to financially help me out until we're married. But I believe a man should pay for dinner if he asks me out. That is not golddigging. That is making sure my date is a gentleman, and not stingy.

3.)Not proposing to a woman, or waiting for the woman to propose to him. Marriage is not for everyone. I respect that. But many men ask women to move in with them and then don't want to marry them. If the woman is okay with that, that's fine. But usually, that's not the case. Usually the woman is hoping he will propose.

Maybe I am a little sexist. Maybe I am a little closeminded. But I prefer the men I date to be more manlike. I am the female here. I love a man who is like a hunter, who believes in the thrill of the chase in dating, and who believes in chivalry. A man who likes a cold beer, hangs out with his guys, plays sports and has another hobby like fishing or motorcycle riding. I don't want a man that bellydances. I like a man with rough hands, with some facial hair, with hair on his chest and back. That is why I am attracted to the opposite sex, because he is opposite of me.