Married Men

Hello There My Lovelies,

In my search for more fodder to do my Craigslist "manslations", I keep running into these ads for married men. Apparently, these married men are turning into whiners.

"Yeah, so I am married dude looking for an understanding girl, is that too much to ask ?"

or " Why can't I find any understanding women"? or " All I want is a little fun"

They are whining because they can't find a constant girlfriend on the side. Whine, whine, whine, I am only staying with her because of the kids, I am staying with her because she would clean me out in a divorce....

First of all, these men don't get a lot of responses because there is no respect. Also, when men cheat, the other women get all the blame, even though the married men were the ones who took the vows with their wives.

Second, it's Craigslist. You know you've stooped to an all-time low if you're chasing some married guy on Craigslist.

Also, because there is no incentive. Most women realize that if they hooked up with some married dude, that they would never come first. That they would have to share some man with his wife and kids, when they could easily find other unattached men who can fully focus on them.

Yeah, so married men offer getaway vacations and cash and shopping sprees online. But since they are already lying to their wives, they are probably lying about their financial status as well. The economy sucks, they are probably broke as hell. Besides, there are plenty of bachelors out there with cash.

I am not a fan of married men. Not married, not separated. Legally, separated is just a state of mind and really means nothing. I wish more women would realize that. Men and women can still sleep in the same bed and technically be "separated".

I don't believe in befriending a married man unless I was already his friend before he was married, and even then I back off. Married men usually always start off by rationalizing their actions by telling the woman that it's just friendship. "I love my wife, I just want to be your friend." "I only want your friendship." Part of the reason I cut off contact with my ex was because he is now engaged. After he told me that he wanted to buy this huge ass diamond for her, I wanted nothing more to do with him. Of course he tried to convice me that all he wants is friendship, and how could I be so cold to let him go. Blah blah blah, I didn't buy a word of it and thought he was full of shit. If I were to befriend a married man, it's because I am friends with his wife and he just comes along with it.

Or if I got married, and we as a couple were befriending another couple.

Recently some coworker has been texting me off and on about going dancing with him. Or wanting to call me after work. This man is married with two little kids. I don't care what he does, but please leave me out of it.

I don't want to cause a scene at work, as he is more senior than I and he would retaliate if I spoke up, especially since he hasn't really crossed the line. He only tries very occasionally and I don't even work the same shift as he. So I just ignore him and give excuses as to why I can't go out and he gets the picture. Luckily he can forget about me because there are other women that are dumb enough to bring food and flirt with him during lunch hour.

When I worked in customer service and the restaurant industry, married men would hit on me a lot. I was in my early twenties, and these men were in their late thirties and up. They had married early and felt bored, so a younger naive looking girl sure seemed attractive. Most of the men that hit on me were married, and some were single. It was so sad. The same happened to my coworkers.

This is one of the reasons that although I would love to meet the love of my life and get married, I am a little scared. After seeing all these ads, and getting hit on by married men, it really makes me wonder if my husband would do the same to me while I am at home caring for the children. At what point to men get tired of their wives and look elsewhere ? I am sure many of the women that married their cheating husbands never thought that he would go out and whore around behind her back.

Plus as a single woman, you have to do your research. No longer is looking at the ring finger sufficient enough to determine if a man is married or not. Many men don't wear their rings anymore. Also, many lie about their status. I have been duped before, and trust me, I felt like the biggest chump when I found out.

Here are some steps that I've taken that have saved my ass:

1. I ask him if he is or has ever been married. Because if a man pursues you and you don't ask and you find out he is married and call him out, he will come right back at you and say " Well, you didn't ask." And while he is a douche for that, he is partially right. I should've asked. I have avoided many situations by asking this question up front.

2.) See if he will show me his place or give me his home phone number. I've avoided potential douchey situations with that question too. Because when I start asking more questions he will either tell me he is married or living with another women, he will protest and ask me why I am interviewing him, or he will stop calling and avoid me altogether. All which are responses I look for.

3.) If he answers my calls when I call. Or if he returns my calls. Because if it keeps going to voicemail over and over and he doesn't return my calls, chances are he is married or has another chica.

4.) Google his name, or look him up on Facebook or Myspace. I've verified information successfully that way before.

Anywho, time for me to jump off my soap box and get some exercise.

Tootles..........