Aloha My Lovelies,
So today's Craigslist ad du jour is actually from New York City. The SF Bay Area is kinda crazy when it comes to dating, so I wanted to see what NYC has to offer in the male department. Interesting stuff. As usual, my manslations are in bold.
TITLE: This week I've helped 3 sets of women carry strollers up subway stairs - 34
Women come in sets ?
I don't usually keep track of this sort of thing, mind you. I just did But I helped a woman carry her baby and stroller up the subway steps this morning and realized it was the third time this week I'd done so. Therefore I deserve a medal. Now who wants to sleep with me ? What is wrong with NYC men that they don't do this all the time? The only thing I have going for me is that I help moms carry their strollers up stairs. I've lived in NYC for 12 years, and it's been the same ever since I moved here straight out of college.
I also let women out of elevators first. Aunts and older women love me. My aunt and grandmother love me.
It also so happens that I am *extraordinarily* good-looking because my aunt and grandma told me so. I clearly have a high opinion of myself. Not really, If I say I'm gorgeous enough maybe some one will believe me someday.
How about we celebrate with a drink, mild flirting, and necking in a dark nook? I live with my mom, so we'll sneak in one of the corners of the hall. I know a bar that would be perfect. A classy man like me treats women to bars. Oh -- in case you were wondering -- I am white, 5'11'', 165, and in toned/athletic shape.
3 comments:
I think my favorite part is the "necking in a dark nook" - SERIOUSLY!?! I think he meant to say he was 14, not 34!! I don't "neck" - I make out with a man. Talk about someone stuck in the 70s.
He's probably bitter that some model or chick in her 20s doesn't think he hot!
I clearly have a high opinion of myself.
Not really, If I say I'm gorgeous enough maybe some one will believe me someday.
That got a laugh from me. And being 5'11 and 165 means he is quite the girlie man, if you asked me!!
... and probably a psycho killer.
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